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Poll Were you born out of wedlock?

Were your parents married?

  • Yes- my parents were married

    Votes: 26 63.4%

  • No- my parents were not married

    Votes: 14 34.1%

  • My parents were married, just not to each other

    Votes: 1 2.4%
  • Total voters
    41
my parents were married when they had me and the rest of my siblings...neither had any kids by other people and they were together for almost y 30 years..before my mom passed..


i enjoyed signicficant benefits grom growing up in a 2 parent household but tbh


their relationship is probaly why im not married and will probaly NEVER hvae kids.. the only thing i learned grom theM
is dont ever stay with SOMEONE you cannot please/fulfilll in the ways thay count.. the stories i cluld share but only discuss with my siblings would baffle anyone
 
BlackRain said:
No it didn't affect my desire to get married or not

Hell no. My parents relationship was their own. They were their own people. I'm not them so my relationships were never based on them two.
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Yeah I don’t understand when ppl say the opposite why/how are you letting an entirely different relationship from ppl 20-30 years your senior dictate how you operate your relationships in life?

You’re either incredibly impressionable to the point it can be detrimental to yourself, l just using it as an excuse, or not strong enough to dictate things yourself
 
Yup. But luckily that shit didn't last long after. Love my pops though but some shit ain't meant to be.
 
Parents never got married but they were together off and on for 20 ridiculous years. They might as well have been married.

My dad was a shitty dude back in the day. I got three older half sisters cuz the man refused to keep his hands to himself. My mom put up with a lot. Even tho they finally ended things when I started high school I’ll admit he was there for my sister & me once we started getting older. He’s in my life a lot more since my mom passed.
 
Suckio Andretti said:
Yeah I don’t understand when ppl say the opposite why/how are you letting an entirely different relationship from ppl 20-30 years your senior dictate how you operate your relationships in life?

You’re either incredibly impressionable to the point it can be detrimental to yourself, l just using it as an excuse, or not strong enough to dictate things yourself
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1736692668861.gif



Apparently, Beta’s account has been hacked.😂
 
Suckio Andretti said:
Yeah I don’t understand when ppl say the opposite why/how are you letting an entirely different relationship from ppl 20-30 years your senior dictate how you operate your relationships in life?

You’re either incredibly impressionable to the point it can be detrimental to yourself, l just using it as an excuse, or not strong enough to dictate things yourself
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Well shit all kids are highly impressionable. Even if you did the complete opposite of what your parents did you were still shaped by them because you knew what NOT to do to not have same fuck up outcome.
 
Tayboo said:
Well shit all kids are highly impressionable. Even if you did the complete opposite of what your parents did you were still shaped by them because you knew what NOT to do to not have same fuck up outcome.
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Why are you equating parents not being married to a fucked up outcome?

I’m just speaking to letting your parents not being married or together dictating your relationships as an adult

That’s weird to me

AP get off her clit man
 
Suckio Andretti said:
Why are you equating parents not being married to a fucked up outcome?

I’m just speaking to letting your parents not being married or together dictating your relationships as an adult

That’s weird to me

AP get off her clit man
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I meant more generally not specifically about being married or not. Like if your parents had a toxic ass relationship and you intentionally avoid that same toxicity in your own relationships as an adult, your parents still shaped you...
 
Tayboo said:
I meant more generally not specifically about being married or not. Like if your parents had a toxic ass relationship and you intentionally avoid that same toxicity in your own relationships as an adult, your parents still shaped you...
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Your parents having a toxic relationship had to happen for you not to want to have a toxic relationship?
 
Tayboo said:
For some people....yes. You believe your childhood has absolutely no influence on how you move as an adult??
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Not to the point of consciously making decisions to shape your romantic life around because again those are different people in a different situation in a different time

This is like saying “my parents weren’t married and my left my mom before I was born so now I refuse to have a kid before marrying and if I’m 45 before having a kid because it took that long to get married than so be it”

It’s not apples to apples

To me anyways
 
Suckio Andretti said:
Yeah I don’t understand when ppl say the opposite why/how are you letting an entirely different relationship from ppl 20-30 years your senior dictate how you operate your relationships in life?

You’re either incredibly impressionable to the point it can be detrimental to yourself, l just using it as an excuse, or not strong enough to dictate things yourself
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I mean it's mainly a thing of for most people their parents are their 1st real live model for what a relationship looks like. You can either choose to want to emulate that or not. I chose not to..some choose to. It's really neither good or bad on its face. It more depends on the relationship you want to emulate or reject.
 
Duwop said:
I feel like divorce would be hard AF on kids.. one of my best friends was telling me about that shit one day....I honestly thought that nigga would never get married. But he gotta wife and two kids now. They happy too....proud of the homie
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Believe it or not it structures the path especially mentally a child goes through into adulthood...


My parents were married... But I discovered later they weren't compatible as a couple... they had four of us


Separated after 10 years and I being the eldest suffered the brunt of that breakup... Beatings, insults and maltreatment from foster guardians who were family I went to live with, poor academic performance, etc

My sister always brings up the fact that since I got it worse from the breakup I should go to therapy... Because thoughts keep coming back

My teenage years were a mess and I was living in Africa at the time

I disdained marriage and didn't see the need for it until I found a guardian angel in my wife ... In a way she proposed to me and not the other way round because I was socially awkward and the chicks I liked and whom I was interested in thought little of me


I want to stay strong for my kids and keep the unit tight so they don't have to suffer the emotional suffering of their parents breaking up
 
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