Best way I can characterize is it, coming to the realization first that hip hop ain't it for me anymore. Alot of the messaging and content is really negative. Alot of the messaging speaks from the viewpoint of a victim,.no matter how hard the artist is or how savage the lyrics.
Alot of the music is about what was done to me, what's being done to me, having things to make myself feel better or whole, and a lot of poor coping mechanisms. That as your main intake of influence can really twist your mind into seeing the world as a predator.
Everyone is out to get me and everything is corrupt viewpoint, leads to very toxic way to live. So once I came to that realization it's like, where do I go from here. What form of outside influence fits what I'm feeling. I venture out from my normal outside influence and find things that fit.
I'm different but who and what's around is the same. I feel out of place and alone In my pursuit of happiness. I try to bring others with me but they are as lost in the sauce as I was. That's when you kinda fight your growth by going backward. Try to hold on to what was there when u first grew.
Your younger years, the only way out is to appreciate your elevation.
