Ways Single Mothers Destroy their sons.........does she have a point?

[roi baptiste]

i grew up with both of my parents so i can't relate to this.

 

[Soul_Rattler]

The entire premise of the thread

"Look at these bitter baby mom's keeping these hard working, eager, willing fathers from being positive male figures in their children's lives"

Like we're supposed to believe this is always the narrative? I mean, I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm not saying it's not tragic when it does happen. In fact I know a couple good brothers fighting the good fight.

But I just don't think it's as common as threads like this suggest. And I keep pointing out the big three cuz everybody only focus on child support.

Housing, food, healthcare..... If niether parent has those three before child....I ain't gonna knock them being with the mom alone when mom's get that shit like same day service.

And I'll continue to support every great Dad out there fighting the good fight.... But lotta niggaz that dealing with the kinda energy in the op worked for that shit

I agree with alot of what you just said. However, how I break it down is based on these institutions:

1. The home
2. The church
3. The school
4. The political and government structure

The first 3 are female dominated and exist as safe spaces for female empowerment and validation. Criticizing the mother in any of those 3 areas can result in you being kicked out, forced out, or fired.

That 4th one is dependent upon the support of the other 3 every 2-4 years and no successful politician has ever stood on a platform of accountability with women or mothers. Criminals, mostly male? Lock em up. Victims, presumably female? Give them welfare, public housing, and other economic options to survive.

The groundswell of social media commenters and father's rights advocates only exist in response to institutional imbalance.

 

[DOS_patos]

You're talking about society always coming down on black men.... Then defend them when you see it.

And I'm saying these threads always coming down on black women. So I'm defending it as I see it

There is a difference between black men at large and ain’t shit black men.

In my eyes black women and single mothers Who do right by their kids are not apart of this thread.
We can not place them with women who are toxic.

 

[Soul_Rattler]

But bitter chicks are an issue just like ain’t shit dudes are an issue.

it’s crazy how society can come down on black men but the moment we speak about the terrible mothers and specify it’s only about terrible mothers...we gotta divert.

this is not about black women or all single mothers. It’s about ain’t shit mothers who hurt their boys.

why we gotta go further than that?

chicks take credit for Mother’s Day but our black men are programmed to not really need thanks. Yet when it’s time to shit on them we have no problem finding takers.

we gotta keep up the same energy for dudes who do a good job and we gotta keep the same energy for aunt shit mothers.
This ain’t blanket but everyone needs to get right. We can’t do that if we shift focus.

that’s all I’m saying.

We have to pick a premise.

Either men and fathers are the foundation of family or we aren't.

If the primary problem is indeed men, that means the primary solution is men. And when the solution is applied, don't divert the conversation women whenever it's time to applaud and give social media trophies.

That means stop pandering for coochie, cash, and content. That goes for government, the church, and social media.

 

[Duwop]

I agree with alot of what you just said. However, how I break it down is based on these institutions:

1. The home
2. The church
3. The school
4. The political and government structure

The first 3 are female dominated and exist as safe spaces for female empowerment and validation. Criticizing the mother in any of those 3 areas can result in you being kicked out, forced out, or fired.

That 4th one is dependent upon the support of the other 3 every 2-4 years and no successful politician has ever stood on a platform of accountability with women or mothers. Criminals, mostly male? Lock em up. Victims, presumably female? Give them welfare, public housing, and other economic options to survive.

The groundswell of social media commenters and father's rights advocates only exist in response to institutional imbalance.

All social institutions set up by men to keep women "in their place"

Women supposed to be home in the kitchen taking care if the kids. They supposed to be the spiritual ones praying for their husband souls while their men curse God. And to this day women are still the predominate gender of teachers. We didn't want them to vote till the 60's....so it might be a while until its more female politicians...

But basically men pushed women into those institutions you named in oppressive manners..... You can't be surprised that they became institutions they are strong in.


A lot of this is self inflicted then lack of accountability for unfavorable conditions ?

 

[Duwop]

There is a difference between black men at large and ain’t shit black men.

In my eyes black women and single mothers Who do right by their kids are not apart of this thread.
We can not place them with women who are toxic.

But we do because many women use government assistance to do right by their children. But in order to do right by their children the fathers name have to given to the city.

And instead of acknowledging this is best for the child the narrative gets turned into "bitter baby mom's"

 

[Soul_Rattler]

There is a difference between black men at large and ain’t shit black men.

In my eyes black women and single mothers Who do right by their kids are not apart of this thread.
We can not place them with women who are toxic.

The only problem have is when non-toxic mothers defend the actions of toxic mothers for the sake of being on code.

A mother will post a video shaking ass on a pole in front of her toddler and in the comments you'll find wholesome modest mothers saying "Don't judge her! She ain't hurting nobody! It's African culture! Go off sis!"

Alot of people on both sides of the argument don't understand the difference between condemning the person and condemning the behavior. They think to condemn the behavior is to condemn the person as if the person cannot or should not change condemnation behavior.

 

[DOS_patos]

But we do because many women use government assistance to do right by their children. But in order to do right by their children the fathers name have to given to the city.

And instead of acknowledging this is best for the child the narrative gets turned into "bitter baby mom's"

I never heard this but that don’t mean it doesn’t happen.

only time I personally would use butter it bashing a father and keeping the father away for any other reason than abuse.But even that gets thrown around after a deserved punishment. And again not all mothers do this. A select few do

 

[DOS_patos]

We have to pick a premise.

Either men and fathers are the foundation of family or we aren't.

If the primary problem is indeed men, that means the primary solution is men. And when the solution is applied, don't divert the conversation women whenever it's time to applaud and give social media trophies.

That means stop pandering for coochie, cash, and content. That goes for government, the church, and social media.

When have I not said it starts with men? But we can’t I solve certain women either.

 

[SeaSnake]

I agree with alot of what you just said. However, how I break it down is based on these institutions:

1. The home
2. The church
3. The school
4. The political and government structure

The first 3 are female dominated and exist as safe spaces for female empowerment and validation. Criticizing the mother in any of those 3 areas can result in you being kicked out, forced out, or fired.

That 4th one is dependent upon the support of the other 3 every 2-4 years and no successful politician has ever stood on a platform of accountability with women or mothers. Criminals, mostly male? Lock em up. Victims, presumably female? Give them welfare, public housing, and other economic options to survive.

The groundswell of social media commenters and father's rights advocates only exist in response to institutional imbalance.

So we don’t live in a patriarchal society

 

[SeaSnake]

All social institutions set up by men to keep women "in their place"

Women supposed to be home in the kitchen taking care if the kids. They supposed to be the spiritual ones praying for their husband souls while their men curse God. And to this day women are still the predominate gender of teachers. We didn't want them to vote till the 60's....so it might be a while until its more female politicians...

But basically men pushed women into those institutions you named in oppressive manners..... You can't be surprised that they became institutions they are strong in.


A lot of this is self inflicted then lack of accountability for unfavorable conditions ?

exfucking zactly

 

[Phillykingransom]

Women made these laws?

Nah, a cracker made those laws.

 

[Duwop]

I never heard this but that don’t mean it doesn’t happen.

only time I personally would use butter it bashing a father and keeping the father away for any other reason than abuse.But even that gets thrown around after a deserved punishment. And again not all mothers do this. A select few do

My point is.

A mother using the system to take care of her child doesn't necessarily make her bitter, bad, manipulative, or any of the negative conclusion we automatically jump to.....

Some definitely may.... But as I said before.
..a percentage of a percentage

 

[Duwop]

Nah, a cracker made those laws.

Cracker males...

And more of them caught up in the system than our total population in the country

 

[DOS_patos]

My point is.

A mother using the system to take care of her child doesn't necessarily make her bitter, bad, manipulative, or any of the negative conclusion we automatically jump to.....

Some definitely may.... But as I said before.
..a percentage of a percentage

I agree. I'm not saying that.

I'm speaking only on...Keeping a father away just because.

 

[Chicity]

I have a serious question;

This shit aint an exhaustive circular argument to yall yet?

 

[Duwop]

I agree. I'm not saying that.

I'm speaking only on...Keeping a father away just because.

I'm saying it's a small percentage of women who do that and they catch the absolute adequate shit for it they deserve...

However we convinced ourselves that the energy needs to be spread to all single mothers..... Even if we try to use the disclaimer of "not all" we know damn well all catching them shots

 

[CeLLar-DooR]

The entire premise of the thread

"Look at these bitter baby mom's keeping these hard working, eager, willing fathers from being positive male figures in their children's lives"

Like we're supposed to believe this is always the narrative? I mean, I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm not saying it's not tragic when it does happen. In fact I know a couple good brothers fighting the good fight.

But I just don't think it's as common as threads like this suggest. And I keep pointing out the big three cuz everybody only focus on child support.

Housing, food, healthcare..... If niether parent has those three before child....I ain't gonna knock them being with the mom alone when mom's get that shit like same day service.

And I'll continue to support every great Dad out there fighting the good fight.... But lotta niggaz that dealing with the kinda energy in the op worked for that shit

In my, and probably everyone else's, experience most children are raised by their mothers even in 2 parent households and would pick to live with their mother over their father if made to choose.

Men like this idea that the courts are keepin' great fathers from their children but if we bein' real that's a rarity

 

[BlackRain]

As a man raised by a single mom with three sisters and a grandma in one household I feel strongly about some of these claims. And I'll likely try to skewer it apart in lengthy paragraphs that ppl will just go "TLDR" to.

But imma do it anyway when I get back from work.

I mentioned this before in a thread that the amount of posters on here who say they were raised by single mothers that also.hold such low opinions of them is interesting. And it's rare they think anyone would see their own mother through the lens they view other single mothers through.

Anyways there's alot of bullshit in the OPs post.

 

[DOS_patos]

I'm saying it's a small percentage of women who do that and they catch the absolute adequate shit for it they deserve...

However we convinced ourselves that the energy needs to be spread to all single mothers..... Even if we try to use the disclaimer of "not all" we know damn well all catching them shots

No one said this goes for all single mothers or even spread to other outside the ones who do this.
Where was this said?