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UPDATE ON MY CHURCH GIRL THREAD

deadeye

deadeye

Warrior
We fell out last summer due to a misunderstanding...........and I recently found out that she's pregnant.



The End.



Well, not exactly.



This thread isn't really about her specifically, but more so about social etiquette.



Basically, when I found out from a family member that she was pregnant..........I was speechless for a few seconds, and then I told the relative to tell her congratulations.



Soon after, it didn't feel right saying congratulations because I don't think it's going to be a positive situation.



I mean, what am I really congratulating her for?



She just turned 20 years old and should be finishing her 2nd year of college.



Instead, she's about to experience the hardships of motherhood when she's barely an adult herself.



Granted, she has a good support system in place.........but I didn't want her to grow up this quick.



But Alas, although I think of her as a daughter.........she's not, so I really shouldn't care about her situation either way.



I just wanted a better future for her.



Part of me feels like I failed her in some way, even though she's not my responsibility.



But Alas, I digress.



Basically, I'm as awkward as Dexter in certain social situations, so I wanted to get a general idea of what would be the appropriate thing to say in a situation like this.


Keep in mind, I found this out in Church........and my initial thought was to say something along the lines of "sorry to hear that"........but the person who told me of her impending pregnancy made it seem like it was a blessing, so congratulations was the first thing that came to mind.


Any positive input will be greatly appreciated, but I don't want this to degenerate into a single mother bashing thread or anything of that nature.


Otherwise, I'll ask the moderators to take appropriate action and lock or delete the thread.


Just looking for some insight more than anything else.


I almost didn't make this thread, but @MissK told me a while back to keep her posted on any new developments..........so I felt obligated to update her on this challenging situation.
 
never assume things can be good just it seems that way.

but dont always think the worse either.

i have come to realize people dont want people to care for them unless its some other type of benefit they can touch and see or spend.

the world aint for niggas like you no more. everyone out for self until help is needed.

i see very few people worth the time
 
I really never say congratulations unless it's a happy couple & they were trying to have a child together & they finally procreated like one of my home boys & cousin for example
 
just say "I wish the family well" cuz thats what she got now, a family.

either way tho, you could get away with saying nothing. highly doubt she's waiting on your hot take.
 
Revolver Ocelot said:
@deadeye you too old to be having 22 y/o problems.

You damn near 50, you should be playing w/ the grand kids or something.
Click to expand...


@Revolver Ocelot


I agree, but not for the reasons you stated.


I watched this girl grow up, so......this isn't really a 22yr old thing........this is indeed a dilemna that a 50yr old would experience.


Also, because I don't have kids of my own.........I will acknowledge that I do seem to have projected paternal feelings upon this young lady.
 
BNE said:
just say "I wish the family well" cuz thats what she got now, a family.

either way tho, you could get away with saying nothing. highly doubt she's waiting on your hot take.
Click to expand...


@BNE


I didn't hear it directly from her though.......but the matriarch of her family.


It was basically an awkward moment, because she was looking at me as if she was awaiting my response........and, as stated earlier, I couldn't think of anything to say other than congratulations in that setting.


Despite it not really being anything to celebrate about.


Now, I could understand if the matriarch said her and her husband, fiance, or even boyfriend were having a baby..........but she just said "we" were having a baby.


So, I don't know if that "we" included the father or not.
 
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DOS_patos said:
i have come to realize people dont want people to care for them unless its some other type of benefit they can touch and see or spend.

the world aint for niggas like you no more. everyone out for self until help is needed.

i see very few people worth the time
Click to expand...


@DOS_patos


I'm starting to come to this conclusion as well.


Been in situations where people ask me about something, I tell them what I think..........it's not what they wanna hear, so they just go ahead and do what they wanna do anyway.


Basically, a lot of people who ask for advice aren't really looking for advice.........but some sort of validation and/or confirmation that you're on their side.


However, when they don't get the validation they were expecting, they start to perceive you as a "hater" or someone who's "not being supportive."


Then comes the obligatory......."I got this."


Which really doesn't mean that they have the situation under control.......just that they want you to mind your business and start to resent you because they think that you think you're better than them or something.


Which is ironic because they're the ones who brought their "business" to my attention in the first place.




Kobe wtf gif.gif




Then when things don't work out the way they wanted, and everything you told them comes to pass...........now they're ready to listen to what you have to say.



KRS-ONE gif.gif



Then I hit them with the "let me call you back"..........and now I'm not being a good friend.



Webay gif drinking soda while being interrogated.gif



Cutty called it in Season 3:



 
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