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3
Tom Clancy Was A Former Insurance Salesman Who Was Never In The Army

Tom Clancy was an amazing writer. Not only was he able to cram so much patriotism into every page that his books explode on July 4th, but he also packed them with technical details, tiny minutiae, and whatever passes for Easter eggs amongst military types. We can picture him typing his books in full army getup, surrounded by medals, mementos from covert missions across the globe, and a Russian skull or two.

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In reality, Clancy was a big ol' nerd. A civilian one. Before finding acclaim in the notoriously difficult-to-market-to demographic of dads stuck at the airport, he was an insurance salesman whose prior involvement with the military extended to trying and failing to join the Army ROTC (he was rejected due to his nearsightedness). After moving into the insurance biz and still nursing a major case of military fanboyism, he decided to write some dumb book about submarine warfare -- a book that he fleshed out with research culled from technical manuals, declassified reports, and expert interviews, all stitched together like an elaborate fan theory.

In fact, this was how he wrote all of his books: the hard way. Even after finding success with The Hunt For Red October and being invited to actual military installations, he still relied mainly on his reading habits (that is, pure nerdery) to help him world-build. The military was so convinced that someone was leaking him information that when he had lunch with the secretary of the Navy in 1985, he was asked who had "cleared" Hunt for publication, adding that if Clancy was Navy, he'd already have been court-martialed.

It's said that the secretary was joking, but this was the era of the Cold War, so a polite laugh from Clancy could've seen him shot for espionage.
 
2
Queen Victoria Had An Awe-Inspiring Sexual Appetite

The words "Queen Victoria" bring forth images of some frumpy, grumpy old lady covered in lace and mourning the fact that someone somewhere is sporting an uncovered ankle. Hell, the most prudish age in history was named after her, right? As it turns out, the Victorians loved porking, and that included Victoria herself. She was less refined brandy and silk, more a shot of tequila and a leather catsuit.

Most of what we know about Queen Victoria's feeling and desires comes from reading her diaries and letters, and oh boy did she like talking about how Prince Albert was just, like, a total dreamboat. No matter whether he was shaving, applying her stockings, coming from the rain "in his white cashmere britches, with nothing on underneath," or giving her the royal business during their wedding night:

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She also noted that they "did not sleep much," and made sure to stress the fact that they spent the night "in one bed" (emphasis hers). It's commonly thought by historians that Victoria was insatiable, to the extent that she ravaged poor Albert. At one point, she even had him install a mechanism that allowed them to lock their door from bed, so they wouldn't be interrupted by their predictably numerous children. For his part, Albert couldn't stop bragging to random dignitaries about how smashing his wife's breasts were -- and oh right, he had a dick piercing named after him. That's gotta count for something.

The royal horndogs were also in the habit of exchanging extravagant boobtastic paintings such as William Edward Frost's "The Disarming Of Cupid" and Franz Xaver Winterhalter's "Florinda" -- the latter of which depicts a group of semi-nude female companions bathing. Oh, and to finish off, there's this painting that Victoria commissioned for Prince Albert as a special birthday gift, which we're going to go ahead and call the first sext.

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1
Marilyn Monroe Was A Size 12 ... But Only By 1950s Standards


Marilyn Monroe is one of the most influential figures in history, from the way that she redefined glamor and beauty, to the way in which she empowered women to post passive-aggressive (bullshit) quotes on social media, to the fact that she spent her entire career screaming to the world that it was OK to be a size 12 and not some skin-thin model.

Too bad she wasn't a size 12. Not by today's standards, anyway.

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It's true that Monroe -- with her hourglass measurements and all -- was a size 12, and that she was once referred to as "too plump, but in a beautiful way" by some bitchy-ass company head. The problem with reducing her figure down to a clothing size, however, is that clothing sizes have changed a lot since the '50s. In her day, sizes started at 8 and went all the way to 38. But in the 1980s, clothing manufacturers realized that this made no fucking sense and reclassified the system so that sizes started at 0. She was a 12 in that regard, but only because it was impossible by the sizing standards of the day to be her "true" size, a 6/8. Hell, when one writer tried a custom-made dress of Monroe's, she found that the waist measured a paltry 28.5 inches. To an actual size 12 person, that counts as a torture device.

Monroe, it should also be mentioned, was also pretty motivated to stay as thin as possible because, and we don't know if you know this, the past was awful to women. If she wanted to stay employed, she had to remain thin, and so alongside dieting, she also had a strict training regimen, which included weights. So no, Monroe wasn't "heavy," but she could still probably crush your ass.

http://www.cracked.com/article_2568...ockingly-different-from-their-reputation.html

 
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