The dumbest thing you've ever done

Bobjones

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Jan 31, 2020
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...whether or not the act had any consequences. Stuff that every now and then you randomly get reminded of, shake ur head in disbelief, then wish the men in black could come and wipe ur slate clean

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Horrible decisions, misdeeds, brain farts.. just all around fuck ups.


What's the single most hair-brained shit u ever done?

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I'll start, online reputation having puzzy niggas/ettes...

One day I was eating food but then decided, time to fap. So I finish eating then go to jerk off.

Everything going good for the first minute jacking the johnson.

But then gradually, I start feeling a burn. I'm wondering "wtf is going on here?". Did i use tiger balm heat rub instead of lotion? Why my shit heating up.

I'm still contemplating this treason to my dick but it starts getting worse so now it's hands off. 0_WvRM1ezVWd2TUcl6.gif

Wtf bruh. Then it dawned on me. Like, oh yeah...

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That food I was eating? I was using scotch bonnet hot sauce (Carribean ppl know that pepper is off the charts on the Scoville heat rating, hot like fyah).

My dumbass forgot to wash the hot sauce off my hands. It transferred over to my schlong like hot peppers on a street vendor sausage.

This woulda been a good time to have some chick give me brains but I was shit outta luck. They say when ur mouth is burning milk helps but I wasn't about to go pouring milk over my dick. So I manned up and waited it out.

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Never again shall I betray the integrity of my penis.
 
how about something i once beleived?
the chirping crickets make, i used to believe that sound came from the stars at night.
oh, u can break out that memory neuralyzer now.

I agree if u were a kid that's actually kinda cute. If u were over the age of 8 and thought that . .. well son..

I don't know how to tell u this, but, Santa clause isn't real. And the tooth fairy.. I'm sorry bro. She isn't real either.

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Damn that's bold.

My one and only idiotic experience with cops was when I gave the finger to a pig mobile that was parked a block from my house. not so courageously mind u given I was thinking theyd b too far to see .but they pulled a U-ie and I had to haul ass back into my house with my dog.

It was dumb but I'm proud of it still. That was my NWA moment.
 
Wait...

you were jacking off with jerk chicken grease? And made a thread about it?

Whoe let these MEGAs out of their cage?

Well If u wanna be technical I was cutting scotch bonnet peppers and the residue got on my finger tips and under my nails.

but damn I wouldn't mind some jerk chicken right now.

For real tho, let's not beat around the bush on some pussy bwoi shit. Let's hear ur story.
 
Back in the day my cousins and I got into with some dudes at a park later that evening we decided to go to the apt complex they lived in and tried to holla at the one dude sister and his female cousins. Don't know what the fuck we was thinking besides we're some thugs or some goofy shit like that but every nigga in the apartment complex came out of their apts to beat our ass.

Only way we didn't get beat to death a police officer was riding thru the complex saw all the commotion. Niggas scattered and we just hopped in my cousin raggedy ass chevy malibu and dipped. Ended up getting pulled over for a out of date tag but cop let us go.

My cousin was always getting us into some shit smh my nigga was a magnet for bullshit and our dumbasses would be right along with him
 
Ran from a cab overseas, then got off the bus stop the next week and walked home the same way. Dude tailed me all the way home and caught me slipping at my front door smh
 
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About five and half years ago, I was attending a college and there had this one student once... some very beautiful, dark olive skinned Morrocan woman of taller-than-average height (around 5'8" tall of height) and medium-large built, with a full-lipped, doe-eyed delicate visage enframed by a mane of frizzly auburn hair, an abounding bosom, a tapered wasp waist and a set of exploding hips followed by a pair of plump thighs and a well-rounded ample rear. A true 8,5/10.

But she was visibly, to put it diplomatically, the type to really get around and feeling entitledly conceited about her success amid men. I already had my fair lot of seductive experience earned rightfully so from a succession of little successes and Ls taken over a half-decade of bachelor lifetime and so, but still: for some odd reason and for the first time in three years, I felt both intimitated and insecure at the mere idea of approaching her.

Some day after classes, an ex-friend of mine who attended the same college persuaded me to jump at the opportunity given. I did go ahead, called her and, once her attention at last fetched... I freaked out. I was stuttering to her about whether she had 30 cents to pass to me or not. I never forget the annoyed stare she gave at me that day.

One year later, some Arab and Maghrebi acquaitances who attended the same college than her told me, half-frustrated, that I should try again because she was the type of girl who forget and forgive easily a misstep if you happen to be attractive enough... and black. Apparently, the tramp was so negrophile she cheated her Arab boyfriend at that time over none one, but multiple half-brothers from down south of the Sahara desert and the West Indies. She also gained a lot of weight, they said... hm, she got some potential.

"riight":kanyecry2:
 
U got a way with words, man. I can picture the chick already.

And hey, peer pressure is a bitch, ain't it? When u give in it's like a thrust into the spotlight at a time, place and mood which never seems to be right.
 
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I was paying for something with a card and it wasn't reading the chip so the guy said swipe it. My brain short circuited and I guess I thought he meant the chip was dirty. So my dumbass swiped my card on my clothes like I'm cleaning it

I'm sure I made his day with that laugh
 
U got a way with words, man. I can picture the chick already.

And hey, peer pressure is a bitch, ain't it? When u give in it's like a thrust into the spotlight at a time, place and mood which never seems to be right.

A conveniently situational mess.
 
Dumbest thing I ever did was have a chick that was having "relationship issues" with a dude. Pick me up from my house in her car and take me to her house to fuck.
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Why..? And of course what happens next is what supposed to happen to niggaz who do dumb shit like that