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Hustletown said:
Normally wouldn’t vent about my marriage on this shit cause I feel like it’s a lot of immaturity on here but I’d be lying if I said idk if we gon make it to the next anniversary. I’m not happy.
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Been divorced 2x b. The second one damn near broke me

At the end of the day, yall gotta do what's best for yall. Communication is the key tho. Regardless of how you think the truth may be recieved, you gotta be honest with her and yaself
 
mryounggun said:
Share your pain with the people, my nigga. Fuck around and get some life changing advice and shit.
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Been on my mind for awhile. For the most part shit feels like roommates instead of husband and wife. When we argue about stuff we breezing by it instead of getting to the root of the problem.

Found out about a month ago she’s pregnant with our 2nd child. Thought I would be more excited but her demeanor and attitude is killing it for me.

Never had a problem dealing with temptation but since I’m not getting that love from my wife it’s like shit...I’d never cheat but when you at a job that’s mostly women then the thought creeps up more

I been felt for awhile she might have love for me but not in love with me.
 
Hustletown said:
Been on my mind for awhile. For the most part shit feels like roommates instead of husband and wife. When we argue about stuff we breezing by it instead of getting to the root of the problem.

Found out about a month ago she’s pregnant with our 2nd child. Thought I would be more excited but her demeanor and attitude is killing it for me.

Never had a problem dealing with temptation but since I’m not getting that love from my wife it’s like shit...I’d never cheat but when you at a job that’s mostly women then the thought creeps up more

I been felt for awhile she might have love for me but not in love with me.
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Im gonna go out on a limb and say, judging from the way you described things, you don't have the type if wife who you can just come to straight up and talk to just like you just said it here? Minus the temptation part, of course.
 
mryounggun said:
Im gonna go out on a limb and say, judging from the way you described things, you don't have the type if wife who you can just come to straight up and talk to just like you just said it here? Minus the temptation part, of course.
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nah everything outside of that we’ve discussed
 
Hustletown said:
nah everything outside of that we’ve discussed
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Damn. Shit like that is stressful. So with y'all openly talking about it and things still not getting resolved, what's the reason behind that? Y'all both agree to make changes and then fall back into familiar patterns? Or is is that she totally doesn't get where you're coming from an won't even meet you half way?

Those are two very different situations, ya know?
 
mryounggun said:
Y'all both agree to make changes and then fall back into familiar patterns? Damn. Shit like that is stressful. So with y'all openly talking about it and things still not getting resolved, what's the reason behind that? Or is is that she totally doesn't get where you're coming from an won't even meet you half way?

Those are two very different situations, ya know?
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192575
You already know.
 
TheNightKing said:
If that’s the case, are you doing absolutely everything you can, even if she doesn’t? Or is your level of effort conditioned on hers and vice versa?

If it’s the latter, are you willing to step out on faith and lead by example? Inspire her to do better with your ACTIONS.
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I think I’ve put more effort in personally but I could always do more. Idk if it’ll help though.
 
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Hustletown said:
I think I’ve put more effort in personally but I could always do more. Idk if it’ll help though.
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Try to not condition your effort on hers or compare efforts like you did in this statement. Do everything you can to show her you love her and let go of your ego.

Do that for a solid month and if she still doesn’t come around, then you know it’s her and not you.

If you’re not willing to do that, then it’s you too. Maybe you not feeling her and just don’t want to admit it.
 
TheNightKing said:
Try to not condition your effort on hers or compare efforts like you did in this statement. Do everything you can to show her you love her and let go of your ego.

Do that for a solid month and if she still doesn’t come around, then you know it’s her and not you.

If you’re not willing to do that, then it’s you too. Maybe you not feeling her and just don’t want to admit it.
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Well said. Preciate the advice.
 
TheNightKing said:
Try to not condition your effort on hers or compare efforts like you did in this statement. Do everything you can to show her you love her and let go of your ego.

Do that for a solid month and if she still doesn’t come around, then you know it’s her and not you.

If you’re not willing to do that, then it’s you too. Maybe you not feeling her and just don’t want to admit it.
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^^^^^This nigga think he's me and shit. Lol.

Naw but for real, I was gonna say the same shit. I went through that with my son's mom when we was together. But I made sure to stay consistent with MY effort. Because at the end of the day, let it never be said that I didn't do more than my fair share to keep this thing going. Keep that effort up, nigga. Hopefully she'll see how vital it is that she do the same.

Like you can't really say shit like 'I could do more, but I don't think it'll help.'. You gotta exhaust ALL options, my nigga. This ya marriage we talking about, ya know.

Also, have y'all been to couple's therapy or na?
 
Hustletown said:
I think I’ve put more effort in personally but I could always do more. Idk if it’ll help though.
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TheNightKing said:
Try to not condition your effort on hers or compare efforts like you did in this statement. Do everything you can to show her you love her and let go of your ego.

Do that for a solid month and if she still doesn’t come around, then you know it’s her and not you.

If you’re not willing to do that, then it’s you too. Maybe you not feeling her and just don’t want to admit it.
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yeah that shits hard....im in a phase now where im really trying focus on being selfless

the whole lead by example thing, and not comparing or keeping score

nobody could have ever explained how hard it is to NOT think about yourself tho

so you're still frustrated when shit doesnt go your way or how you thought it would in light of your actions

im getting better at it but cant hide it all the time.....the important part is we talk about it
 
mryounggun said:
^^^^^This nigga think he's me and shit. Lol.

Naw but for real, I was gonna say the same shit. I went through that with my son's mom when we was together. But I made sure to stay consistent with MY effort. Because at the end of the day, let it never be said that I didn't do more than my fair share to keep this thing going. Keep that effort up, nigga. Hopefully she'll see how vital it is that she do the same.

Like you can't really say shit like 'I could do more, but I don't think it'll help.'. You gotta exhaust ALL options, my nigga. This ya marriage we talking about, ya know.

Also, have y'all been to couple's therapy or na?
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Nope. I’ve suggested it in the past but we never went through with it.
 
I think im doin a good job not letting my intentions be known

i almost came out with it, but just talking is something i missed doing a lot.
 
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