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OPINION - ABW Parents: Does public shaming a child work as an effective punishment?

I have a daughter im not about to fuck up her esteem with public shaming. Especially for stuff like bad grades or talking back to a teacher. But if she did something like make fun of a disabled kid in class then i would make her apologize in front of the class.
 
still conflicted about this

children's confidence is so easily shattered, but they be bad af

my lil girl was acting up in church the other day...i just took her outside away from view and popped her hand...she acted right after that
 
Funny that I came across this thread since it has been a topic of discussion amongst many women I know. I don't believe in physical punishment and I definitely do not believe in publicly humiliating my child. I practice positive parenting and many people may not realize it but our words and the way we word things do determine the response we get from our children. From infancy, we have to lower our expectations because I've seen many times parents expect their infants/toddlers/children to do and react in ways that just isn't realistic especially for their age. We must speak positivity and life into our children every single day even when they mess up and starting at infancy, even when they "let us down" and if many people were more realistic of what to expect from the start, this would help.
 
NoOneImportant said:
Talking, taking away privileges, and beatings are sometimes not enough to get through to a misbehaving child.

Sometimes public shaming a child is a route taken when parents have exhausted all other avenues.

In this world of social media, you or someone else can take a picture or record a video of your child's public shaming where it has the possibility of living on the Internet forever.

A result like this can serve as a powerful reminder to that said child of what could happen if he or she gets out-of-line again.

However, one has to ask if this type of punishment is effective or harmful to a child's mental well-being?

Are you opening your child up to being teased and beat up by his or her peers which could result in more behavioral issues?

Here is an example of such course of action...

Click to expand...


I think public shaming on fb is the wackest corniest shit a parent can do. Nobody gives a fuck that you discipline your kid on fb live.

And i dont like physical punishment but im still trying figure out this discipline thing.
 
Meeks said:
Funny that I came across this thread since it has been a topic of discussion amongst many women I know. I don't believe in physical punishment and I definitely do not believe in publicly humiliating my child. I practice positive parenting and many people may not realize it but our words and the way we word things do determine the response we get from our children. From infancy, we have to lower our expectations because I've seen many times parents expect their infants/toddlers/children to do and react in ways that just isn't realistic especially for their age. We must speak positivity and life into our children every single day even when they mess up and starting at infancy, even when they "let us down" and if many people were more realistic of what to expect from the start, this would help.
Click to expand...
This is a great post. being positive and practicing gentle parenting isnt easy but its definitely the goal.
 
How you balance between gentle parenting and still being stern. Cuz i been soft on my daughter and now im paying for it.
 
Gentle parenting is cool, if that's how you gotta be

That ain't me tho, not at all

But public shaming is wack tho. Posting it on SM is even more wack
 
My son still acting an ass....

We're on a 4 day streak of good days....and I haven't popped his ass in a good minute,, as I'm trying to get away from beatings, but they still on the table.

He hasn't gotten his pokemon cards and yo kai shit back yet....and he still not getting his room tv back till I say so, but if He finishes this week strong....he'll get some privileges back
 
Gentle and positive parenting is not for everybody. I don't look at it as how i have to be but how I should want to be. Children have emotions, they have feelings, they mess up just like adults. We also have to allow them to make mistakes. That doesn't mean at all to let your child do any and everything but certain things are normal human behavior period.
 
HellCzar said:
She be 6 on the third. She just talk back alot and think im always playing. I dont like to hit cuz dont want my daughter to think getting hit by men is how she gets in line.
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Oh, she is only 6!
Give me an example of a time she talks back.
 
Meeks said:
Oh, she is only 6!
Give me an example of a time she talks back.
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my daughter is going on 4

i told her today to do something and she told me to leave her alone.

I cant remember why she was mad, but it was about something

I dont like her telling me that. I dont want her to ever feel comfortable thinking she can tell me to leave her alone. Then she shouted it at me. I aint spank her or nuffin

whatcha got for me?
 
AP21 said:
my daughter is going on 4

i told her today to do something and she told me to leave her alone.

I cant remember why she was mad, but it was about something

I dont like her telling me that. I dont want her to ever feel comfortable thinking she can tell me to leave her alone. Then she shouted it at me. I aint spank her or nuffin

whatcha got for me?
Click to expand...

I prettt much just wrote a wholw paragraph and it got deleted. Smh, anyway...at 4 years old they still do not have the mental state to cope with certain situations. Trying things like "I understand that you may be tired but I need you to do XYZ for me", "I know you were having fun but this is important, when we are done you can continue playing", "I know you do not feel like doing XYZ but I need your help". Try giving choices as well (I'll give examples in a bit). I know many people look at this like "They're children, they don't have a say so" but this isn't about them having a say so whatsoever. This is about us respecting that our children have a voice, allowing them to express themselves but also helping them understand and cope with what we expect from them.
 
Look I work with young children positive reinforcement and redirection with respect can work with the mild and docile type however there is a large group of children it doesn't work on... Those children need to know there are consequences and punishment for their actions (whatever that maybe) to drive their "good" behavior.

Yes we did try the "hands off no beating approach" gave him options, positive reinforcements, redirections all that however that alone didn't work...ok lets take valuables (toys, tv, playtime) away. That showed some progress. Introduced spankings (cuz beatings and ass whooping sounds harsh I get it lol) and that showed some more progress as well. But I honestly believe the combunation of reinforcements, punishments and spankings are what works the best... and to clarify there is always a conversation that is happening throughout the whole process, after the offense, before the consequence, and after the consequence with input from them; that way my child can never say my parents punished/ spanked me for no reason.

I typically don't spank my son but that little bugger still without hesitation say daddy is his favorite maybe I should beat him a little more lol
 
AP21 said:
my daughter is going on 4

i told her today to do something and she told me to leave her alone.

I cant remember why she was mad, but it was about something

I dont like her telling me that. I dont want her to ever feel comfortable thinking she can tell me to leave her alone. Then she shouted it at me. I aint spank her or nuffin

whatcha got for me?
Click to expand...
My 4yo gets like this and I always tell her to maintain low tones lol. It confused her and took the bass out her voice. She knows what it means now, but it was very effective the first few times I said it


As for 'leaving her alone', I changed her (and all my kids) vernacular to 'I need my space'. Same meaning but the wording ain't as harsh. And I give them there space to fume or whatever. Typical my daughter space is under the computer desk
 
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