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Most Embarrassing Moments That Were 100% Your Fault

K

King Freeman

Guest
Share your most embarrassing moments that were completely your own dumbass fault.
 
I was 13....at the movie theater fresh as hell...Im playing the lil basketball arcade game. Couple chicks around my age walk up and start flirting...im still shooting the ball while talking to em tryna be cool. I told ol girl to gimme her number, so she got a pen & paper....I shoot the ball again, turn to say something to em and the ball bounce off the rim and hit me in the head smh. They started laughing hard as hell and walked away....my young ego was hurt lol.
 
I was 19 and had just gotten out the hospital after being in for 3 weeks. (Don't ask) now doctor told me I shouldn't drink or smoke or anything for s couple weeks.

But fuck what he was talking about a nigga tryna to spark something when I get home. But I dont want no regular joint, I don't want to roll a L pape, I don't want a century sam, bot even a philly. Nah a nigga want that Dutch master grape. Packed and to the face. Nigga trying to get high af and make up for lost time.

Got all that and more. I got like halfway through the blunt. And noticed my heart beating like a motherfucka. Like I can hear the shit. Like I think my chest moving. Like I think I see my fucking heart.

Now I can't breathe and shit, I'm hot. Am I dying? My girl supposed to be coming in a bit.
So just like a big bitch I call her panicking.
Now she panicking and gonna call my mom at work and tell her.

Now my mom hitting me up like wtf?
By this time i've drank water, took a cold shower tried lying down tried walking it off. Ain't shit working. It might be getting worse. So I'm on the phone telling my mom I'm sorry on some last rights shit. So she calls 911.

So paramedics show up. They do all the little tests they can do. And from what they can see "everything is fine" but that shit still on 10 so I'm like fuck that y'all not leaving me here for dead. Let's go.

Get in the ambulance. Strap up. Start driving. Get to the lights outside my building.

"Alright im good. They gon figure out what's wrong with me."

Next major intersection.

"Oh my heart stop beating crazy. Good shit."

Get to hospital.

"I feel fine. Shit. Did a nigga green out? Welp already here and health care is free. Might as well just keep going."

Pretty sure the nurse/doctors figured the shit out. They just put me in the hallway and tell me to lay down for a bit lol.

Girl shows up.

Mom and dad show up.

Older brother shows up.
"You good? What happened?"

Give him the half truth story I gave everyone else.

We going back to my parents to eat. My brother drives me and my girl back.

"Nigga you were smoking weren't you?"

"Nah... A little bit."

"Shit nigga that's supposed to happen."

I still remember his laugh from that day.
 
I can only think of one that still bothers me to this day. There was this girl that I knew from elementary school all the way to middle school. Thick redbone that I always had a crush on but I felt was out of my league. I didnt think highly of myself in those years cause I was living in poverty and I felt like confidence came from what you adorned yaself in and not from inside.

Anyway, I used to go bout my day on some regular shit, neva felt like the bitches that I liked, would ever like me. My cousin was more of an extrovert and was friends with everyone. So my cousin knew the chick..me and my cousin in my room one day. Smoking, bullshitin, my cousin on the phone.

My cousin go, "yo..Autumn wanna talk to you"..I'm like, ayo..stop fuckin we me, that ain't funny. She go.."nah, Autumn wanna talk to you, she says she thinks ur cute"..

I get mad, so mad I'm almost in tears, like we family, why you tryna play me like dat..

She wasnt playin...years later..she told me she was dead ass..and me

20191122_141920.png

I cried cause I thought i was too much of a loser to bag a bad bitch ...like a sucka ass nigga
 
This shit happened my first year of college.
its lunch time and im with my homies in the cafe getting something decent to eat. I had a long day so before we went I went to my room and I got my slippers.
I had those jawns for 4 years prior so the bottoms were good and worn out. I knew this and thought “I’ll be fine”
WRONG
After I got my food I went to get my cranberry sprite from the soda machine.

there was a particular machine in the front that always seemed to leak. Water ended up on the floor and me not thinking anything of it, walk right in that wet spot with them worn out slippers on.
I ended up doing a slight stutter and almost ended up on the floor. I caught myself in the nick of time by holding on to a empty table

of course everybody saw that shit n laughed
I hauled ass to my table ate my shit tho, fuck them niggas.
 
I'll make this brief and to the point.

I paid for a trip to mexico to get the family out of the house so I could get some pussy.
Cheated on ex wife with her assistant.
Fucked her in our bed.
Assistant fell asleep and pissed in our brand new $5000 mattress.
Got caught trying to replace the mattress after delivery man came back a day later bcuz he dropped his ID badge.
Had to buy the ex a custom Denali for her to finally forgive me.

Fucked up part is we were never the same bcuz I couldn't trust her bcuz I felt like she was gonna get me back by fucking somebody else outta revenge. She never did but the threat was there and I couldn't live with that.
 
It was my birthday and me and my dudes go out drinking and smoking. I’m fucked up and we decided to go get some food from this late night hole in the wall spot. We inside the spot and I gotta piss bad as hell. Go to the bathroom and it’s out of order.

I’m like fuck it imma go behind the building. Yo I swear I was behind the building but in reality I was pissing in the middle of the street. Cop pulls up and gets on loud speaker.

hey when ur done pull out ur id. I’m looking around like who he talking too then realize he talking to me. I finish and try to explain myself. He like are u driving? I’m like nah. He gives me a ticket.

next day my wife washing my clothes and finds the ticket. She starts bugging out. I call my people’s and the story above is what he told me. I don’t remember the shit but it must be true. It’s embarrassing think I was that drunk.
 
O.G. said:
I'll make this brief and to the point.

I paid for a trip to mexico to get the family out of the house so I could get some pussy.
Cheated on ex wife with her assistant.
Fucked her in our bed.
Assistant fell asleep and pissed in our brand new $5000 mattress.
Got caught trying to replace the mattress after delivery man came back a day later bcuz he dropped his ID badge.
Had to buy the ex a custom Denali for her to finally forgive me.

Fucked up part is we were never the same bcuz I couldn't trust her bcuz I felt like she was gonna get me back by fucking somebody else outta revenge. She never did but the threat was there and I couldn't live with that.
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Bruhhh...

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This nigga said the hefa PISSED in their mattress...LMAO!!! WHAT...IN THE...HO-LY R.KELLY...FUCC??? LOL!!
 
semi-auto-mato said:
It was my birthday and me and my dudes go out drinking and smoking. I’m fucked up and we decided to go get some food from this late night hole in the wall spot. We inside the spot and I gotta piss bad as hell. Go to the bathroom and it’s out of order.

I’m like fuck it imma go behind the building. Yo I swear I was behind the building but in reality I was pissing in the middle of the street. Cop pulls up and gets on loud speaker.

hey when ur done pull out ur id. I’m looking around like who he talking too then realize he talking to me. I finish and try to explain myself. He like are u driving? I’m like nah. He gives me a ticket.

next day my wife washing my clothes and finds the ticket. She starts bugging out. I call my people’s and the story above is what he told me. I don’t remember the shit but it must be true. It’s embarrassing think I was that drunk.
Click to expand...


Bruh u coulda went to prison n murdered for that
 
Me n my boys in Hardees one day and we like the only mfs in line whenever we come in.. So we standing there and that "Pose to be song" by Omarion and Jhene Aiko come on. The shit had just came out and the radio was killing it. So that one line that go "Gotta eat the booty like groceries" comes up and one of these niggas say something bout how thats the only line that people like to quote. So I go into this whole thing, telling these niggas that its because eating ass is the new craze and that its quickly starting to take off. Im telling them that soon its gonna be normal for a nigga to eat a bitches ass and all this other shit.

Whole time im preaching to these niggas man and they laughing hard as hell. So I turn around and its this white lady and her lil daughter standing behind me. At first I look down at the girl and she just looking up at me then i look up at her mama whos face is red as fuck. I could tell she was mad and she was typing something on her phone fast as hell. I have no idea who she was talking to but with my luck she was telling all her facebook friends & i live in a small ass town. So that was enough for me to get the hell outta dodge..

I was so conflicted. A part of me wanted to go back and apologize and then there was a part of me that was like "Maybe they really didn't hear that shit" but nah.. i know they heard it. I was just scared If I went back the mama was gonna flip out on me and maybe start filming so she could have a facebook moment.
 
Had an epic meltdown during the 09 National Championship Game

Whole night was an emotional rollercoaster and I was completely belligerent by the end of the game, was told I went on a ten minute rant after the game ended, went in my room and locked the door and passed out while guests were still in my crib

This happened in front of about 15-17 people that came over to watch the game including a girl I really liked and had just started talking to maybe 4 days prior

To this day I still have never seen or spoke to her since that night
 
Young nigga.. 14.. never had sex before.. hormones goin craazy af!! I finally got this girl from round da neighborhood to fuck wit me!! She younger than me but more "experienced" if u will.. not like a whore or nothin.. she 14too so jus more mature i guess, mighta kissed more than me or touched a lil bit more than me.. idk i jus remeber thinkin shawty was "official" sexually, as opposed to myself.. at that point,was jus a hoop head n sports was all i did 4real.. but one day we at my homeboy crib (RIP) and he knew shawty was feelin me and use to b on me, type tuff!! So we n da crib after school b4 parents get off n shit, typical setting for trouble at that age, so u kno we aint supposed to b in there.. but he got a lil brother n he go to afterschool care n shit so he aint here!!! My boy pretty much locked me n the girl n his lil brother room n tellin me, try her, mind u he is a virgin too.. lol!! He dont kno shit!! But wrapping it up.. he got a condom out his pops n step momma room n give it to me under the door.. 1st time i used a rubber, never forget.. i struggle to put the shit on. Thinkin she a pro wit da sex, im immediately embarrassed but im motivated to say the least.. i get the bitch on and slide in awkwardly and sloppily, wit a house full of my homeys and cousins.. playin gta and runnin thru the crib bein teenage boys n shit.. tryna listen and knockin and fuckin wit da door.. all type of shit... must have fucked me up so i buss it!!! ALL n bout 6 pumps.. rubber and all.. yooo wen i tell u embarrassed!!!! Maaan and worst of all.. i ended up goin home and riding wit my mom to the grocery store, call myself bein a good dude and try to hold the door open for mom dukes and she jive get a whiff of ya boy!!! Loooool!!! Looked at me wit a look i remember to this day n said"boooy you stink, and u better not b a damn fool like ya daddy"... i prolly was red as the devil in the face maaan... years later moms told me i smelled like stinky coochie and she aint want me to even get in her car but she loved me!!! Honestly i dont really get embarrassed anymore nowadays n its not cuz i dont b in embarrassing situations like everybody else, but because i aint never felt that level of shame since!!
 
O.G. said:
I'll make this brief and to the point.

I paid for a trip to mexico to get the family out of the house so I could get some pussy.
Cheated on ex wife with her assistant.
Fucked her in our bed.
Assistant fell asleep and pissed in our brand new $5000 mattress.
Got caught trying to replace the mattress after delivery man came back a day later bcuz he dropped his ID badge.
Had to buy the ex a custom Denali for her to finally forgive me.

Fucked up part is we were never the same bcuz I couldn't trust her bcuz I felt like she was gonna get me back by fucking somebody else outta revenge. She never did but the threat was there and I couldn't live with that.
Click to expand...
Pissed?

source-1.gif
 
O.G. said:
I'll make this brief and to the point.

I paid for a trip to mexico to get the family out of the house so I could get some pussy.
Cheated on ex wife with her assistant.
Fucked her in our bed.
Assistant fell asleep and pissed in our brand new $5000 mattress.
Got caught trying to replace the mattress after delivery man came back a day later bcuz he dropped his ID badge.
Had to buy the ex a custom Denali for her to finally forgive me.

Fucked up part is we were never the same bcuz I couldn't trust her bcuz I felt like she was gonna get me back by fucking somebody else outta revenge. She never did but the threat was there and I couldn't live with that.
Click to expand...

This one of the most expensive L’s I ever seen. And it was easily avoidable.

All you had to do was go buy a puppy, tell them it was a surprise for when they came back, and then blame the pissy mattress on him.
 
Rubato said:
This one of the most expensive L’s I ever seen. And it was easily avoidable.

All you had to do was go buy a puppy, tell them it was a surprise for when they came back, and then blame the pissy mattress on him.
Click to expand...
Wrong. She was terrified of dogs. We couldn't get one until she moved out.
 
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