Welcome To aBlackWeb

Register

Monogamy is a prison

AP21 said:
Therein lies the issue, race titled the thread monogamy is a prison and y'all just latching onto that without actually reading/ breaking down the tweet

But again, if you've never had someone that depends on you as the source as their happiness, then yes, you don't have a clue if what's going on.

I can't remember, maybe it was bne or maybe it was the tweet that followed, but you need to love yourself first before someone else comes into the picture.

If you are solely dependent on someone else to provide happiness for you because they are your mate, then you will be disappointed.

You can be happy when doing certain things with your mate, nothing wrong with that, but if you have such an emotional dependency in that person, you will ultimately suffer because that person is also made up of feelings and emotions, so what if this particular day they aren't feeling like the best version of themselves, and you come to them with your issues and they don't respond the way you want them to? Then what? Now y'all arguing because you wanted them to help you through your shit while you were being totally aloof to the fact that they were going through their own shit.

So like I said @ king du, you can sit this one out because you are totally off base. This has absolutely NOTHING to do with polygamy or wanting to be with more than one person.

It has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that one person has decided to make YOU the source of their happiness which in turn, can feel like a prison
Click to expand...
so again....i understand clearly......so why even mention monogamy?

if you place "serious" in the place of "monogamy"...then i would be totally wrong.

wording and emphasis always details intention.

so you can love yourself and fuck everyone or love yourself and fuck only one person.
 
and for the record i am sure we all dealt with someone who needs someone to complete them.

why else do you get into relationships?

my wife completes me...simply because i am not strong everywhere. i m human and have weaknesses...as she does and i help complete her.

sounds like a possible self esteem issue with whoever shes talking about.....or it could possiblly be her with the issue.
 
DOS_patos said:
so again....i understand clearly......so why even mention monogamy?

if you place "serious" in the place of "monogamy"...then i would be totally wrong.

wording and emphasis always details intention.

so you can love yourself and fuck everyone or love yourself and fuck only one person.
Click to expand...
You gotta ask race lol

She the one who named the thread that

But when I read the actual tweet, it was obvious it had nothing to do with monogamy
 
DOS_patos said:
and for the record i am sure we all dealt with someone who needs someone to complete them.

why else do you get into relationships?

my wife completes me...simply because i am not strong everywhere. i m human and have weaknesses...as she does and i help complete her.

sounds like a possible self esteem issue with whoever shes talking about.....or it could possiblly be her with the issue.
Click to expand...
Your wife completes you fam?

I'ma chill

Congrats tho
 
while race did name it that...the chick is calling it confinement and codependence.

co dependence is what a relationship is. the confinement part is a nigga wanting to control someone...

both have nothing to do with sex, so why mention it.

even the second person on some..take back your happiness.

both sound dumb to me
 
AP21 said:
Your wife completes you fam?

I'ma chill

Congrats tho
Click to expand...
obviously you never had someone who makes you a better person.

you can be as complete as you can get and still have someone who fits into a place you are not strong and they make you stronger.

or maybe we just have to completely different definitions of what completing someone is.

I dont see it as a negative thing.

now come back outside nigga...we aint finished
 
AP21 said:
It has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that one person has decided to make YOU the source of their happiness which in turn, can feel like a prison
Click to expand...
I hear you, but what you describe is codependency and not monogamy. the opening tweet mentions monogamy in the wrong context too. that's why this is happening. monogamy doesn't entail one person depending on you for everything. all it means is that you're romantically/sexually exclusive to one another. all this other shit is just being attached to it when they're not mutually dependent.

"codependency is a prison" would've been a better title and that same tweet could've been achieved, with more relevance, without even bringing up monogamy. the definition of monogamy has never been depending on one person as the source of your happiness.
 
BNE said:
I hear you, but what you describe is codependency and not monogamy. the opening tweet mentions monogamy in the wrong context too. that's why this is happening. monogamy doesn't entail one person depending on you for everything. all it means is that you're romantically/sexually exclusive to one another. all this other shit is just being attached to it when they're not mutually dependent.

"codependency is a prison" would've been a better title and that same tweet could've been achieved, with more relevance, without even bringing up monogamy. the definition of monogamy has never been depending on one person as the source of your happiness.
Click to expand...

Agreed
 
I'm starting to view monogamy/marriage the same way I view christianity and capitalism.

very big white supremacist scams. and you know they're big and powerful scams because challenging it makes one seem outrageous. (you can tell by looking at this thread)

listen, 50% of marriages end in divorce and the other 50% experience severe disfunction commonly. but we still don't see a need to interrogate it?

I mean when is the last time you saw representation of healthy polyamory?


or happy relationships that were open or happy relationships that didn't have to end in marriage? Butttt we always see “happy/healthy” marriages.


fuck it when have we ever seen shows, movies that do not center around romantic relationships? have we ever seen shows that center someone happy in their singledom?

since 50% end in divorce, WE KNOW WHAT WE SEE ARE NOT HONEST DEPICTIONS OF MONOGAMY/MARRIAGE.


or how about older family members that tell us marriage is about constant forgiveness because their partner was habitually on some foul shit? and well you know you gotta stick thru it for better or worse lol

call me extreme, but white jesus and walt disney got niggas shook to imagine happiness, pleasure, intimacy and connection not informed by colonization or mass media.
 
Race Jones said:
I'm starting to view monogamy/marriage the same way I view christianity and capitalism.

very big white supremacist scams. and you know they're big and powerful scams because challenging it makes one seem outrageous. (you can tell by looking at this thread)

listen, 50% of marriages end in divorce and the other 50% experience severe disfunction commonly. but we still don't see a need to interrogate it?

I mean when is the last time you saw representation of healthy polyamory?


or happy relationships that were open or happy relationships that didn't have to end in marriage? Butttt we always see “happy/healthy” marriages.


fuck it when have we ever seen shows, movies that do not center around romantic relationships? have we ever seen shows that center someone happy in their singledom?

since 50% end in divorce, WE KNOW WHAT WE SEE ARE NOT HONEST DEPICTIONS OF MONOGAMY/MARRIAGE.


or how about older family members that tell us marriage is about constant forgiveness because their partner was habitually on some foul shit? and well you know you gotta stick thru it for better or worse lol

call me extreme, but white jesus and walt disney got niggas shook to imagine happiness, pleasure, intimacy and connection not informed by colonization or mass media.
Click to expand...

So what do you propose as an alternative? And how do you see it as being superior to the former?

Depending on your answer, I may have more questions?
 
Race Jones said:
I'm starting to view monogamy/marriage the same way I view christianity and capitalism.

very big white supremacist scams. and you know they're big and powerful scams because challenging it makes one seem outrageous. (you can tell by looking at this thread)

listen, 50% of marriages end in divorce and the other 50% experience severe disfunction commonly. but we still don't see a need to interrogate it?

I mean when is the last time you saw representation of healthy polyamory?


or happy relationships that were open or happy relationships that didn't have to end in marriage? Butttt we always see “happy/healthy” marriages.


fuck it when have we ever seen shows, movies that do not center around romantic relationships? have we ever seen shows that center someone happy in their singledom?

since 50% end in divorce, WE KNOW WHAT WE SEE ARE NOT HONEST DEPICTIONS OF MONOGAMY/MARRIAGE.


or how about older family members that tell us marriage is about constant forgiveness because their partner was habitually on some foul shit? and well you know you gotta stick thru it for better or worse lol

call me extreme, but white jesus and walt disney got niggas shook to imagine happiness, pleasure, intimacy and connection not informed by colonization or mass media.
Click to expand...

Well I dont expect polygamy to get a honest or legit representation in a country that wont recognize it legally. And we do have a certain romantic view of traditional relationships that arent based in reality and we need to be more realistic.

But I dont think marriage and staying with one person are bad things at all I think they are needed for a functional society. Its just that we live in the West so everything here is about money and image and timelines. So people arent really getting married for happiness they so because they think they have too.


And when they get anxious or bored you get a whole bunch of nonsense.
 
Judge_Judah said:
So what do you propose as an alternative? And how do you see it as being superior to the former?

Depending on your answer, I may have more questions?
Click to expand...

More representation of realistic marriages and more representation of people who are ok being single or ok with not settling down.
 
Fwiw I'm not against marriage

It just bothers me when du uses his one example as the catch all for everything when it comes to these topics

Your marriage is in tact, cool, but not everyone else's is so stop trying to say something is wrong with everyone else's relationship because you and your wife not going through it
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top