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Let’s talk Depression: Post Partum Depression & Everything Inbetween

Goldie ?? said:
What do you suggest we do if we notice our woman going through postpartum?

Anything you wish your dude was/is more mindful of?


@Meeks @Kandy
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I’d highly recommend educating yourself. Not taking it personal because even when it seems like she’s “there” mentally and emotionally, it doesn’t mean she is. Show her grace and really I recommend therapy for people who have partners dealing with depression of any kind.
 
mryounggun said:
My girl got all kinda shit going on in her head, in general. Diagnosed with all kinda shit. Then her brother was murdered. She ain't been the same since, honestly.
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I hope she pulls through. You seem to know how to help. Patience is one of the things you need as well.
 
I think we might all be able to benefit from knowing some of the signs of depression with our loved ones.

Sometimes that shit can go under the radar and the people we love may be sending obvious/non-obvious signals for help.

I'm all ears on how to be a better companion, friend, person and loved one so I appreciate this conversation being had in here
 
I don’t wanna speak for everyone. In my experience, a lot of people I know who have suffered or are suffering, mask it. So, I can understand not knowing. My mama just found out last year and we are close.
 
Inori said:
I think we might all be able to benefit from knowing some of the signs of depression with our loved ones.

Sometimes that shit can go under the radar and the people we love may be sending obvious/non-obvious signals for help.

I'm all ears on how to be a better companion, friend, person and loved one so I appreciate this conversation being had in here
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Mood swings

The urge to stay in bed. All day. For no apparent reason. Despite what the fuck needs to happen for your family to function that day.

Under/Over eating

The inability to modulate your emotions - like extreme reactions to shit that ain't that extreme.
 
mryounggun said:
Mood swings

The urge to stay in bed. All day. For no apparent reason. Despite what the fuck needs to happen for your family to function that day.

Under/Over eating

The inability to modulate your emotions - like extreme reactions to shit that ain't that extreme.
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Sometimes that depression hit a MF so hard...they don't even WANT to be happy. They wanna sit in it for a while. And they just need you to sit in it with them. Shit might sound crazy.
 
Kandy said:
I don’t wanna speak for everyone. In my experience, a lot of people I know who have suffered or are suffering, mask it. So, I can understand not knowing. My mama just found out last year and we are close.
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Whew yes, I think I finally acknowledged it completely when my grandfather died. I realized the severity of it. Like I literally was trying to dig myself out of it and I was afraid honestly because I didn’t know how to grieve a loss like that.
 
Like my bedroom is my sanctuary.. that’s horrible because I’m a mother to a 4 year old.

So I did end up doing some damn fitness challenge and lost 60 lbs between September and now. Went down 2 1/2 sizes in my clothes.

The hardest thing was doing this AND fighting the depression because there were days I wanted to lay in bed and cry, not work out and take my daughter outside lol.
 
Meeks said:
Whew yes, I think I finally acknowledged it completely when my grandfather died. I realized the severity of it. Like I literally was trying to dig myself out of it and I was afraid honestly because I didn’t know how to grieve a loss like that.
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Listen! I feeeeeeeel you. I’m trying to be more proactive about it now because I know my triggers. However, I am in a much better space now. Much much much better for the past two months but I’d be sitting here lying if I said I ain’t sat in my car, tub or bed in a dark space. The end of 2019 until bout April 2020 was hell! I graduated from college and wasn’t even really happy about it. I pretended like hell I was but my head was so messed up. I legit wasn’t happy.
 
Kandy said:
Listen! I feeeeeeeel you. I’m trying to be more proactive about it now because I know my triggers. However, I am in a much better space now. Much much much better for the past two months but I’d be sitting here lying if I said I ain’t sat in my car, tub or bed in a dark space. The end of 2019 until bout April 2020 was hell! I graduated from college and wasn’t even really happy about it. I pretended like hell I was but my head was so messed up. I legit wasn’t happy.
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Girllllll, I understand this so much! I am so happy you are in a better place and I’m proud of your accomplishments. You’ve truly came so far while battling your depression and you deserve to celebrate that.
 
Meeks said:
I believe this is a conversation that needs to be had especially in the Black community. It’s a known fact that Black women and Black babies die more than any other race of women and babies during and after giving birth.



However, that is just from not having the proper support and care from doctors and nurses overall especially in hospitals.



Now, I’m sure we see time and time again of women killing children and themselves. However, let’s put your personal feelings aside and I truly want to know, have you done your part to better understand Post Partum Depression? Have you actually taken the time to understand women’s health, hormonal changes during and after giving birth, birth trauma, lack of post natal support and care.. I could go on.



What do you THINK depression is suppose to look like?



I ask these questions because I want to dive into how we care for and support Black girls, women, and mothers overall. I am a mother myself and I am raising a future Black woman so these things are extremely important to me.



I’ll be adding to this conversation as much as possible with resources and ways to educate people overall on this issue. It’s real, it’s been happening even before I was born, and it’s happening even more now in 2020.



Let’s start with https://www.postpartumdepression.org/postpartum-depression/



Post Partum depression is something that requires more than just therapy, it is an overall change in the human body and hormones play a part as well. Our bodies can also release chemicals that can shift the way our brains function in many situations. I was a mother who dealt with Post Partum Anxiety and PTSD. These things are more common than people think.
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I don’t really know too much about how to help other people deal with depression besides listening to what they going through try and help out with lol things. Chick I was talking too for a few months had two kids they about 5 years apart I think. And she would get real stressed from her BDs cuz they would get into it or one wasn’t as active as he should’ve been(felt like I saw his kid more than he did lol) I would tell her like hey they gotta meet you half way you should be driving 2.5 hours to drop your kid off and pick your kid up when the dad got a car. But she was very stressed and I think she has anxiety and she told me she think she has postpartum. I don’t think she ever got an extreme situation like crash a car or anything
 
When my wife passed unexpectedly in 2016 of course I was hurt but the depression didn't hit till a year after. I guess I didn't really grieve like I should have. Then to top it off I lost my job and was out of work 9mos. Lost a car to some bullshit. Then on top of that I'm now a single father who has a child dealing with losing his mom. 2017 was some bullshit.

In December 2017 I had to pick myself up and look at myself in the mirror and say what dafuck are you doing. Had to get my shit together and focus on my mental health and more importantly my son's. So I started looking at things different. Seeing what I really have and being thankful for what I have and haven't got. Reached out to those who tried to help me and let them in. Became a open book and stopped bottling up the bullshit that was bringing me down. I'll never go back to that person he was laughing on the outside and fronting yet a nigga was fucked up crying in the dark asking why me every night. I was legit a clown and even worst.... Weak. By the grace I'm good and highly blessed


Also realized I/we can't afford to give up. Once you change that mindset life is good.
 
Don't know if anyone's ever done any research on this, but I think PPD might be the reason for a lot of relationships ending after the birth of a child.


Know too many people who say their girl/wife wasn't the same after they got pregnant and gave birth.


Sounds crazy, but it's really not as far-fetched as it seems to think that untreated PPD could've been a factor.
 
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