Let’s talk Depression: Post Partum Depression & Everything Inbetween

[Meeks]

I believe this is a conversation that needs to be had especially in the Black community. It’s a known fact that Black women and Black babies die more than any other race of women and babies during and after giving birth.



However, that is just from not having the proper support and care from doctors and nurses overall especially in hospitals.



Now, I’m sure we see time and time again of women killing children and themselves. However, let’s put your personal feelings aside and I truly want to know, have you done your part to better understand Post Partum Depression? Have you actually taken the time to understand women’s health, hormonal changes during and after giving birth, birth trauma, lack of post natal support and care.. I could go on.



What do you THINK depression is suppose to look like?



I ask these questions because I want to dive into how we care for and support Black girls, women, and mothers overall. I am a mother myself and I am raising a future Black woman so these things are extremely important to me.



I’ll be adding to this conversation as much as possible with resources and ways to educate people overall on this issue. It’s real, it’s been happening even before I was born, and it’s happening even more now in 2020.



Let’s start with https://www.postpartumdepression.org/postpartum-depression/



Post Partum depression is something that requires more than just therapy, it is an overall change in the human body and hormones play a part as well. Our bodies can also release chemicals that can shift the way our brains function in many situations. I was a mother who dealt with Post Partum Anxiety and PTSD. These things are more common than people think.

 

[Loquacious]

Postpartum depression is what I believe started my phases of depression. Luckily, mine lasted a short period of time and didn’t result with me doing anything crazy. I have friends and people I know who had it more extreme than me.

 

[Big Lurko]

What are good ways to help someone thru it? Or its something you jus gotta ride out?

 

[Loquacious]

What are good ways to help someone thru it? Or its something you jus gotta ride out?

Nah you can’t ride depression out. I eventually talked to someone who actually listened and it helped me a lot.

 

[loud-ninja]

How did you all deal with it? Did you have a support system (family, friends..etc) or did your depression cause you all to become a recluse? @Meeks and @Kandy

 

[Loquacious]

How did you all deal with it? Did you have a support system (family, friends..etc) or did your depression cause you all to become a recluse? @Meeks and @Kandy

I eventually found someone I could talk to. I managed to get out of it and I thank him for helping me through it. However, I still battled/battle with other bouts of depression. It’s like the postpartum is what set off depression in me because before I was good. Knowing who you can talk to. I don’t want nobody who is gonna just listen though. I was getting great advice during the time. I could tell it was from a place of love and not just to comfort me for that moment.

 

[Meeks]

How did you all deal with it? Did you have a support system (family, friends..etc) or did your depression cause you all to become a recluse? @Meeks and @Kandy

I’m naturally an introvert which I think makes it worse because I like being to myself and having my space. When you are dealing with depression, you’re walking a fine line between the two.

I work a full time job from home, I have worked from home for almost 3 years now and I basically cared for my grandfather and my daughter. My grandfather had a stroke last year April, another this year in March and died this year April. I paid for his body arrangements. Add me working full time with overtime, dealing with our house and making sure I pay every single bill by myself, my business, I run support groups for Black moms, being a mother so I’m barely getting sleep.

I’m sure there are more mothers who deal with things like this but I have witnessed how when so much is happening, it will drive people into insanity.

I also breastfed my daughter well into toddlerhood and breastfeeding may minimize the chances of having post partum depression or the severity of it.

Just a moment of transparency.

 

[Meeks]

I’m still overcoming depression in itself. However, I believe being given the chance to be transparent in your life journey, will allow doors to open for emotional and mental support and understanding especially for women. They have to be given this opportunity to do so.

 

[Loquacious]

I’m still overcoming depression in itself. However, I believe being given the chance to be transparent in your life journey, will allow doors to open for emotional and mental support and understanding especially for women. They have to be given this opportunity to do so.

I was just about to type this. In the time I was gone from here I was battling with depression, oohwee. Nobody I spoke to knew. Nobody. Didn’t have a clue. I’m great at covering it up. Which I need to stop doing especially knowing I could talk to somebody. That’s a whole different story though.

 

[Meeks]

What are good ways to help someone thru it? Or its something you jus gotta ride out?

I believe you have to truly be willing to listen without taking things personal.
We will hear things that make us uncomfortable but I think when you have a better understanding of how depression works, you are better equipped to support people with it vs being ignorant.

 

[Meeks]

I was just about to type this. In the time I was gone from here I was battling with depression, oohwee. Nobody I spoke to knew. Nobody. Didn’t have a clue. I’m great at covering it up. Which I need to stop doing especially knowing I could talk to somebody. That’s a whole different story though.

Same here!! It’s extremely hard digging yourself out of it when you have a child depending on you. Like I naturally back away from people and social places when I’m dealing with it.

 

[Loquacious]

Same here!! It’s extremely hard digging yourself out of it when you have a child depending on you. Like I naturally back away from people and social places when I’m dealing with it.

It feels good to know that I’m not the only one as well. I wouldn’t wish depression on anyone but it’s kinda like I’m not suffering alone when I find someone who can relate. They tend to give good advice from their experiences.

 

[loud-ninja]

Appreciate the reply. I do know some one who battles with depression. This was maybe the last 2 years of me at least knowing. It is hard to help because she doesn't reach out to me when it happens. I usually find out if I just happened to call her just to say hi. I help where I can. Take her out to get away from her environment if it is only for a few hours or a day. That helps her alot.

 

[Meeks]

It feels good to know that I’m not the only one as well. I wouldn’t wish depression on anyone but it’s kinda like I’m not suffering alone when I find someone who can relate. They tend to give good advice from their experiences.

You are not alone at all!

 

[Goldie]

What do you suggest we do if we notice our woman going through postpartum?

Anything you wish your dude was/is more mindful of?


@Meeks @Kandy

 

[Loquacious]

Appreciate the reply. I do know some one who battles with depression. This was maybe the last 2 years of me at least knowing. It is hard to help because she doesn't reach out to me when it happens. I usually find out if I just happened to call her just to say hi. I help where I can. Take her out to get away from her environment if it is only for a few hours or a day. That helps her alot.

She probably appreciates you for this. I can say for myself. I don’t reach out because I’m typically considered the strong friend or strong one. I much rather people tell their problems to me than to feel like a burden. It takes the focus off of me for that time. Now I can focus on their problems and ignore mine for a second. People have their own issues. They ain’t tryna hear about mine is what I think.

 

[Hater Hearst Helmsley]

My wife didn’t let me know until long after our first child was born but she went through PPD. Totally withdrawn, didn’t wanna do anything. Shit was tough. Initially I chalked it up to her being miserable from c section recovery, but that was only a contributing factor.

 

[Loquacious]

What do you suggest we do if we notice our woman going through postpartum?

Anything you wish your dude was/is more mindful of?


@Meeks @Kandy

Listen to them and don’t take how they feel personal. I learned this from my last position at work. Depression is a mental thing. I dealt with students with mental issues. I can’t take what they have going on personal because it truly isn’t about me.

Support them through it. It’s a process with some women. My postpartum depression wasn’t super extreme but it was bad for the time period I was in it.

 

[Loquacious]

My wife didn’t let me know until long after our first child was born but she went through PPD. Totally withdrawn, didn’t wanna do anything. Shit was tough. Initially I chalked it up to her being miserable from c section recovery, but that was only a contributing factor.

Me!!! I lost a lot of friends, a lot.

 

[AZTG]

@Meeks Just want to say i appreciate this thread.

I dont have much to add, but I am going through every post and hoping to learn from yall experience.