I wish I knew what to say that would bring you some measure of peace, but I don't know what would do. Reading of your devotion to your wife despite any of the issues that you two faced was inspiring, however.
My prayers are with you, your children, and your grandchildren as you all deal with this loss.
Something that I will share that I learned from my own grief is to not let anyone else dictate your grief process. It's yours and yours alone. People should respect that.