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How Possessive Are You?

In my old days of gorilla pimpin' I was on 10 but nowadays it's about a 2-3. She'll jump ship no matter how you treat her no matter if she's under your thumb or not. I don't need the headaches nowadays to be jealous or worried if shorty going to be solid or not
 
Probably like a 4. It's too time consuming to constantly worry about what somebody might be doing when you're not around them.
 
4-5 max I'm not trying to have someone around me every minute and I wouldn't want her to feel like she doesn't have freedom to be her either. I'll always be worried about her well being because this world is insane but, I'm not the texting her every minute or if she's out with her friends or some shit. Just let me know you got there, everything is cool, and that you're home after.
 
Royal said:
OK, that makes sense.

What is possessive behavior to you?
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Wanting all her happiness to only originate from me and anything outside of me I get jealous over.

When we go shopping together and she walks away from me to browse while I ponder something I want to buy. If I’m done pondering and I come across her talking to a guy. Immediately jealous, not cause she’s talking to the guy, more so that this is our thing and you’re sharing our experience with someone else.

My possessiveness definitely is more focused on feeling like I own what we share together, anything outside of that I don’t care. But don’t let me hear you’re watching Star Trek with another man. Watch whatever else you want wit em if that’s your friend. Yes she can have friends. But not male friends that she watches Star Trek with.
 
My girl and I are polar opposites in this department. I’m probably a 1-3 if that. Her on the other hand….she’s a 10+, and that can be really difficult to deal with at times.
 
nex gin said:
My girl and I are polar opposites in this department. I’m probably a 1-3 if that. Her on the other hand….she’s a 10+, and that can be really difficult to deal with at times.
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How do you handle that?
 
I think possessive is the wrong word for me...

Like I'm not very possessive at all. I don't feel I have to make myself wanted. But I'm very very very entitled.

I expect to be wanted.

Like where other people are possessive and actively make their presence felt on a person. I'm still want that... But I'm not gonna do much to acquire it

I always tell my wife the second shes not feeling this... She should bounce.

I'm not gonna beg, plead, or force anyone to stay with me. I'm raising a daughter, I don't ever want her to feel trapped in a relationship on some "my momma stayed so imma stay".... Naw fuck that, I'm not keeping anyone who don't wanna be kept.

And I love the shit outta my wife, I don't want her to leave at all. But I also want her to be happy with me. Her being happy is more important than her being with me. That's why I don't feel I'm possessive, cuz I would never force her to stay, or force my way into areas of her life she doesn't want me. I want her to have all the space and freedom she needs to be happy.
 
Tayboo said:
How do you handle that?
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I'm not going to lie....it can be difficult and frustrating to deal with at times. It requires a lot of patience and understanding + I'm not really a pushover guy so she knows when to chill. To say she has baggage and abandonment issues (which I feel plays a major part in her possessiveness) is an understatement, but she really is a good, caring person at heart. I handle her possessive behavior by setting boundaries, shutting certain shit down immediately, and letting her know I’m not entertaining or engaging in her insecurities. Plus I'm a real chill, relaxed person. There's not a lot that bothers me as long as certain lines aren't crossed or I'm not put in a situation that would compromise my morals/principles.

She blames me for some of it because, as she puts it..."I turned her out"...lol. There's been multiple times in the past where when we get done doing what we do, she'll ask me "how many other girls have I done that to or done that with?" and she'll literally get pissed off imagining me making some other girl feel the way I make her feel. Keep in mind we've been together 14 years and have 2 kids together. Shorty even got into a bad argument w/ her best friend who she's known since grade school because she came to visit one time and made a comment about how lucky she was to have a man like me. I had never met this woman before in my life or even knew what happened after the visit until I asked her when the last time she talked to her homegirl....smh. I let her know she might've been whiling for how she responded to that situation, but eh...I don't know their real history & her personal friend relationships aren't my problem.....and better not be made to be my problem. Just last week my boss was in town for a tech convention so I went to have dinner w/ him and chop it up. I was gone for an hour and a half. When I got back home, you would've thought I had been gone for a week. She gets anxious when I leave the house that something will happen to me or she'll lose me to some tragic accident. I be like "man if you don't stop putting that negative energy out into the universe"..smh. She's gotten a lot better over time, but it's definitely still "a thing" that she's dealing with. At this point in our relationship, my response is "FOH w/ /that crazy shit", and I keep it moving.

Man....I got stories for days on that topic...lol.
 
nex gin said:
I'm not going to lie....it can be difficult and frustrating to deal with at times. It requires a lot of patience and understanding + I'm not really a pushover guy so she knows when to chill. To say she has baggage and abandonment issues (which I feel plays a major part in her possessiveness) is an understatement, but she really is a good, caring person at heart. I handle her possessive behavior by setting boundaries, shutting certain shit down immediately, and letting her know I’m not entertaining or engaging in her insecurities. Plus I'm a real chill, relaxed person. There's not a lot that bothers me as long as certain lines aren't crossed or I'm not put in a situation that would compromise my morals/principles.
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I felt this shit in my soul
 
When I was a teen I was pretty uptight but in my 20’s and now 30’s I really don’t care
 
nex gin said:
I'm not going to lie....it can be difficult and frustrating to deal with at times. It requires a lot of patience and understanding + I'm not really a pushover guy so she knows when to chill. To say she has baggage and abandonment issues (which I feel plays a major part in her possessiveness) is an understatement, but she really is a good, caring person at heart. I handle her possessive behavior by setting boundaries, shutting certain shit down immediately, and letting her know I’m not entertaining or engaging in her insecurities. Plus I'm a real chill, relaxed person. There's not a lot that bothers me as long as certain lines aren't crossed or I'm not put in a situation that would compromise my morals/principles.

She blames me for some of it because, as she puts it..."I turned her out"...lol. There's been multiple times in the past where when we get done doing what we do, she'll ask me "how many other girls have I done that to or done that with?" and she'll literally get pissed off imagining me making some other girl feel the way I make her feel. Keep in mind we've been together 14 years and have 2 kids together. Shorty even got into a bad argument w/ her best friend who she's known since grade school because she came to visit one time and made a comment about how lucky she was to have a man like me. I had never met this woman before in my life or even knew what happened after the visit until I asked her when the last time she talked to her homegirl....smh. I let her know she might've been whiling for how she responded to that situation, but eh...I don't know their real history & her personal friend relationships aren't my problem.....and better not be made to be my problem. Just last week my boss was in town for a tech convention so I went to have dinner w/ him and chop it up. I was gone for an hour and a half. When I got back home, you would've thought I had been gone for a week. She gets anxious when I leave the house that something will happen to me or she'll lose me to some tragic accident. I be like "man if you don't stop putting that negative energy out into the universe"..smh. She's gotten a lot better over time, but it's definitely still "a thing" that she's dealing with. At this point in our relationship, my response is "FOH w/ /that crazy shit", and I keep it moving.

Man....I got stories for days on that topic...lol.
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Geezus crust.

Post almost activated my PTSD from my last long-term relationship.
 
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