I recently caught up with one of my boys from all the way back in middle school. Me and P was tight, used to roll up to the titty bars and spit game at the hoes back inna day, tried to start a record label in the early 90's and all that and we kept up and kicked it all the way up to me leaving AZ for NV back in 2011, then we lost touch.
Dude had gotten married back in '97 and shit seemed sweet. I met the wife when they announced their engagement and all that there. She seemed like a good woman from the times I interacted with her and all that. They got married and shit was lovely for a while, at least that's what he told me. Fast forward to 2001. They've been on the outs, he's frustrated 'cause shit ain't working out plus he's been hearing around the way that she might have a lunch nigga or two. They arguing and all that and finally one day my boy comes home from work and their house is cleared the fuck out. She left his clothes and shoes, a folding chair, his foot locker, and a small ass TV in the crib. Bitch even took the food out the kitchen. They got a divorce and she refused to speak to him directly, only through her lawyer like some shit you see in a movie. He's a good dude, tried hard in the marriage and all that and despite his effort she still bailed on him.
Fast forward to now. We spoke the other day and he told me that about a month ago he ran into his ex out at the mall. He hadn't seen her since the divorce so it kinda fucked him up. He said she tried to hug him but he took a step back and he said right there on the spot she apologized to him for doing him dirty all those years ago, then asked if he would be willing to talk to her over coffee or dinner. They went out to dinner and she started off apologizing again, told him he did nothing really wrong and it was all her immaturity that caused issues. He said she admitted to cheating on him with a nigga she worked with and cried while she was talking 'cause she swore she felt bad about it all.
P, being the dude that he is, forgave her and told her that the shit was damned 20 years ago so he can let it all go. He told me that they've been talking a lot and have gone out a few times for coffee just catching up and once to the movies. He's saying they're vibing just like they did when they first met, except now they're in their mid-40's with careers and all that.
I told dude to pump his brakes on this shit. Like, I know the shit was a long ass time ago, and you want to believe that she's changed and all, but I'd be skeptical as fuck when it comes to bringing someone that fucked me over that badly back into my life. I told him he needs to keep her at arms length, if y'all just wanna be cordial and shit that's cool and all, but if it was me I wouldn't be too quick to fuck with a broad that fucked me over even if that shit was 20 years ago. He's tellin me he's feelin her out to see where her head is at and if it seems like she's still that same old broad that left him in an empty house, he's leaving her alone for good.
What say y'all? How long is long enough to forgive an ex for their misdeeds towards you to the point where you would consider another go at a relationship?