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Friendships that aren’t based on actual friendship, but the need for validation….

Los216 said:
I also notice how my wife's friendships are. Our friendships are sort of similar. We don't actually see our closest friends in person that much. She has a lot more friends at work then I do but from all of the work tea that she gives me (I'm here for it) I don't know if I really like the idea of her being friends with some of these chicks. There's some shit that just bugs me but I haven't came out and told her not to be friends with any of them. I just give her my opinion on what I think about it.


For example, she has one friend at work who likes to organize girls night outs and events and stuff like that. I'm not against it. I'm cool with it. I don't really kick it with my niggas at all anymore so I'm not gonna hold her back from spending time with her friends. However, it felt like to me that the frequency and the cost of these girls nights didn't exactly line up with our lifestyle. Like they were trying to go out on $100 dates 2 or 3 times a month. It's not that we don't have $100 to spend on a date. The bigger issue is that we both work full time and have 4 kids so we don't even get to spend as much time going out with each other as we would like so it felt like this friend inserted her own lifestyle into ours and it made it real awkward.

I didn't think that it had anything to do with anybody needing any validation at first but then I noticed that some of the dates that they were organizing were on the same days that I wanted to do something with her and some of them were at places that I wanted us to go. I didn't like that and it felt like the intentions of these dates were not rooted in friendship but more about other people validating their status in their lives.

I should also mention that my wife is the only woman in their click who is married? I brought that up to her because I didn't want her to feel like I was against her kicking it with them but I told her that none of these chicks are married or have another person who they are committed to like we do so their time and energy is not the same.


Am I tripping and being a bitch ass nigga or do I have a legit point of view?
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You not tripping bro. Express your concerns
 
Punctual And Organized said:
Oh nah, don’t get me wrong, I am the shit..that’s why people don’t like me
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Good…..I never was the type to give a shit what people thought of me either unless I was in a very formal setting.

I never meant to intend that people have to TRY to be likable.

I’m sure we’ve all tried to be liked at some point in life but whether we are or aren’t there’s always going to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Usually people we’ve known for a while
 
dodge said:
Good…..I never was the type to give a shit what people thought of me either unless I was in a very formal setting.

I never meant to intend that people have to TRY to be likable.

I’m sure we’ve all tried to be liked at some point in life but whether we are or aren’t there’s always going to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Usually people we’ve known for a while
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Man I just had a series of events in life where people just disliked me and i ain’t did shit to them. Shit just happened and happens so much in my life I just assume that people just don’t like me. Cause I’m not a mean person, I’m not a rude person, I’m not a back biting person, I just exist and niggaz don’t be liking me. So I always just believed it’s some universal shit. ..I mean hell it even happens on the internet
 
shutupGabi said:
I'm the loser of my friends so I aint got this problem lol
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