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Friendships that aren’t based on actual friendship, but the need for validation….

HellCzar said:
Idk I think me and my friends are outgrowing each other. The shit they be talking about is boring to me. Now these ain’t my day ones but we known each other for a minute. Shit just getting weird
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Fair weather niggas….I don’t knock em off unless they get disrespectful

Thing about the two type of people I mentioned is that they can start off as family or childhood friends. They may actually start off as cool but somehow the shit flips depending on the context of the situation
 
dodge said:
Fair weather niggas….I don’t knock em off unless they get disrespectful

Thing about the two type of people I mentioned is that they can start off as family or childhood friends. They may actually start off as cool but somehow the shit flips depending on the context of the situation
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I mean we still cool and all but me and one of the homies get into it too much over stupid shit and it’s old. And then subject matter don’t be the same it just shit I could give af about
 
I also notice how my wife's friendships are. Our friendships are sort of similar. We don't actually see our closest friends in person that much. She has a lot more friends at work then I do but from all of the work tea that she gives me (I'm here for it) I don't know if I really like the idea of her being friends with some of these chicks. There's some shit that just bugs me but I haven't came out and told her not to be friends with any of them. I just give her my opinion on what I think about it.


For example, she has one friend at work who likes to organize girls night outs and events and stuff like that. I'm not against it. I'm cool with it. I don't really kick it with my niggas at all anymore so I'm not gonna hold her back from spending time with her friends. However, it felt like to me that the frequency and the cost of these girls nights didn't exactly line up with our lifestyle. Like they were trying to go out on $100 dates 2 or 3 times a month. It's not that we don't have $100 to spend on a date. The bigger issue is that we both work full time and have 4 kids so we don't even get to spend as much time going out with each other as we would like so it felt like this friend inserted her own lifestyle into ours and it made it real awkward.

I didn't think that it had anything to do with anybody needing any validation at first but then I noticed that some of the dates that they were organizing were on the same days that I wanted to do something with her and some of them were at places that I wanted us to go. I didn't like that and it felt like the intentions of these dates were not rooted in friendship but more about other people validating their status in their lives.

I should also mention that my wife is the only woman in their click who is married? I brought that up to her because I didn't want her to feel like I was against her kicking it with them but I told her that none of these chicks are married or have another person who they are committed to like we do so their time and energy is not the same.


Am I tripping and being a bitch ass nigga or do I have a legit point of view?
 
I know my friends are my friends cause I'm still cursed with those bastards 🙄
 
Los216 said:
I also notice how my wife's friendships are. Our friendships are sort of similar. We don't actually see our closest friends in person that much. She has a lot more friends at work then I do but from all of the work tea that she gives me (I'm here for it) I don't know if I really like the idea of her being friends with some of these chicks. There's some shit that just bugs me but I haven't came out and told her not to be friends with any of them. I just give her my opinion on what I think about it.


For example, she has one friend at work who likes to organize girls night outs and events and stuff like that. I'm not against it. I'm cool with it. I don't really kick it with my niggas at all anymore so I'm not gonna hold her back from spending time with her friends. However, it felt like to me that the frequency and the cost of these girls nights didn't exactly line up with our lifestyle. Like they were trying to go out on $100 dates 2 or 3 times a month. It's not that we don't have $100 to spend on a date. The bigger issue is that we both work full time and have 4 kids so we don't even get to spend as much time going out with each other as we would like so it felt like this friend inserted her own lifestyle into ours and it made it real awkward.

I didn't think that it had anything to do with anybody needing any validation at first but then I noticed that some of the dates that they were organizing were on the same days that I wanted to do something with her and some of them were at places that I wanted us to go. I didn't like that and it felt like the intentions of these dates were not rooted in friendship but more about other people validating their status in their lives.

I should also mention that my wife is the only woman in their click who is married? I brought that up to her because I didn't want her to feel like I was against her kicking it with them but I told her that none of these chicks are married or have another person who they are committed to like we do so their time and energy is not the same.


Am I tripping and being a bitch ass nigga or do I have a legit point of view?
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I’m not married so that’s a whole different ball park for me

But I’ve seen both husbands with male friends or wives with female friends who would try to impose on their friends marriage
 
loud-ninja said:
Some of yall just may be anti social, lol. Or like to be alone. Hell, You might be the problem in your group of "friends".
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I'm an extremely likeable and social person. It's just that classifying people as a true friends isn't something that should be taken lightly. All of the people who I consider to be true friends are niggas who knew me before I became the man that I am today. In essence, they're seen every version of me.

And I just realized that my longest tenured friend is my best friend who I met when we were in 2nd grade. I was 8. We've known each other for 25 years. That's some real shit. That's my nigga though. I've known all my real close friends for over 20 years.
 
Los216 said:
I'm an extremely likeable and social person. It's just that classifying people as a true friends isn't something that should be taken lightly. All of the people who I consider to be true friends are niggas who knew me before I became the man that I am today. In essence, they're seen every version of me.

And I just realized that my longest tenured friend is my best friend who I met when we were in 2nd grade. I was 8. We've known each other for 25 years. That's some real shit. That's my nigga though. I've known all my real close friends for over 20 years.
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Even though this something people should say and feel about themselves. It's funny as shit to read a person say this about themselves.
 
Most people like to be liked. If someone seems like they like you, it's natural to want to be around that person. They make you feel welcome. And that's the quickest way someone can get labeled a friend. Just cuz they like you being around.
 
Duwop said:
Most people like to be liked. If someone seems like they like you, it's natural to want to be around that person. They make you feel welcome. And that's the quickest way someone can get labeled a friend. Just cuz they like you being around.
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Maybe that’s my problem, I never feel like someone likes me, I just think we cool. So ima be cool wit you until you do something I don’t deem is cool. Then ima just slowly stop fucking wit you.
 
Punctual And Organized said:
Maybe that’s my problem, I never feel like someone likes me, I just think we cool. So ima be cool wit you until you do something I don’t deem is cool. Then ima just slowly stop fucking wit you.
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Find a neighborhood bar with good food. Bar regulars make the best low maintenance friends
 
Duwop said:
Most people like to be liked. If someone seems like they like you, it's natural to want to be around that person. They make you feel welcome. And that's the quickest way someone can get labeled a friend. Just cuz they like you being around.
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Anyone can come across as they like you but they don’t. This is why certain behaviors tend to pop up in the long run.

Some people notice them quickly others don’t

I shoulda clarified this in the second part. A nigga can hate you with all his heart and still know how to present friendship
 
dodge said:
Anyone can come across as they like you but they don’t. This is why certain behaviors tend to pop up in the long run.

Some people notice them quickly others don’t

I shoulda clarified this in the second part. A nigga can hate you with all his heart and still know how to present friendship
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That's life
 
Punctual And Organized said:
Maybe that’s my problem, I never feel like someone likes me, I just think we cool. So ima be cool wit you until you do something I don’t deem is cool. Then ima just slowly stop fucking wit you.
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Cmon son….you gotta think you the shit to you

It sounds arrogant but there’s only ONE version of you. That’s Gods gift
 
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