He also said if you get bored, you don’t like your spouse.
what say you?
what say you?
Du said, “if you gotta try to keep the spark in your relationship, you don’t like your spouse.”
- Thread starter Eartha Clit
- Start date
ImaInfluenza
Who do you think you are? I am
Interesting
ghostdenithegawd
Yuuuuuurrrr
I don't think I let my spouse take enough of my realm for me to be bored by her if that makes any sense
mryounggun
OG
Du is entitled to his opinion. But I disagree. MOST marriages that last decades do so because both parties make a conscious effort to keep that spark alive. Whatever that 'spark' may be, since it's different for each individual relationship.
semi-auto-mato
Active Member
The relationship is over when you stop putting in effort to make it work. I been with my wife 30+ years and during that time we lost it a few times and found it each time. Both of us always remained committed to making it work. Change is constant in life and relationships so don't expect sparks to always fly. Expect and appreciate honesty from ur spouse. Give your spouse the same. Let them know I'm not feeling a spark anymore. How can we get it back? Work together.
Black_Samson
OG
20 years deep.
No marriage is perfect.
What may seem like a chaotic marriage to some might actually just be how that particular couple expresses passion.
Marital advice is not a one size fits all type of deal.
No marriage is perfect.
What may seem like a chaotic marriage to some might actually just be how that particular couple expresses passion.
Marital advice is not a one size fits all type of deal.
1/2
Dont drank out my drank, foo
you come home on tuesdays?
Not listening to du about martial advice
My whole thing is this.
Do you have to do maintenance with your friendships?
Do you get bored with your friends?
Your spouse is your best friend. And if your spouse is your best friend, and y'all actually like each other.... It should be seamless. I don't understand how you "lose the spark" or why someone has to go against just to entertain or keep your spouse engaged.
Like there's nothing I have to to JUST for my wife. We enjoy any and all time we spend together.
We constantly make each other laugh. We don't get tired of routine or become complacent or bored with each other because again we're best friends and really like each other.
When we go out, or go on trips, or anything like that.... It's not done with the motivation of keeping it fresh, or to rekindle a spark. That shit stay lit. When we do stuff, it's because we both wanted to do it
Do you have to do maintenance with your friendships?
Do you get bored with your friends?
Your spouse is your best friend. And if your spouse is your best friend, and y'all actually like each other.... It should be seamless. I don't understand how you "lose the spark" or why someone has to go against just to entertain or keep your spouse engaged.
Like there's nothing I have to to JUST for my wife. We enjoy any and all time we spend together.
We constantly make each other laugh. We don't get tired of routine or become complacent or bored with each other because again we're best friends and really like each other.
When we go out, or go on trips, or anything like that.... It's not done with the motivation of keeping it fresh, or to rekindle a spark. That shit stay lit. When we do stuff, it's because we both wanted to do it
Then don't.
10 years strong and she still my best friend. She still blushes around me. Still supports me in all my moves. And thinks I'm hilarious. Half the memes I post come from something she sent to me that she was laughing at.
I've seen enough couples to know that everybody dont like their spouse like we like each other. So I mean if it don't apply... Then it don't. But whenever some on who actually sees me and my wife together and sees our chemistry and affection for each other....I often get asked the question
Like you really don't know me in person, so you've never seen me and my wife together to observe us. But those who have and asked me what do I do to keep it fresh... My answer is always we're best friends and legit like each other
If you don't get it, you don't get it..... But I know what works for me
Like it's funny cuz I'm legit sitting at the reception at a wedding where I was just talking about your spouse being your best friend. And never having to worry about keeping the spark alive when you're having too much fun being around your favorite person
The Lonious Monk
Celestial Souljah
I don't know if I would have phrased it quite like Du did, but I agree for the most part. If you have a genuine close relationship with your spouse, it shouldn't be that hard to maintain the spark. People can keep the same friends for 10, 20, 30 years without having to do anything special to maintain the friendship. There's no reason the same can't be true for a marriage.
Right... Like we're looking forward to this trip away from the kids.... But it's not to keep the spark alive.... The spark is fine.... I'm not doing this for her, she's not doing it for me.... We both want this trip bad as shit, and we both want the other person to be there, cuz we have the most fun together.
I hang out at a bar a lot, cuz I like being at the bar. And I be having a ball there. But I have the MOST fun.... You guessed it.... When my wife is there.
Like I just genuinely look forward to every single time just me and her get to do something together.... Not cuz I'm bored. Not cuz shit got stale.... But just cuz we dumb as hell when we out together. Like shit at the wedding today she was like.... No you gotta tilt your head down like you bout to drop a gospel album
Shit was comical to me. We be geeking. Have arguments and beef with each other too.... But we have more fun together than anything else
I hang out at a bar a lot, cuz I like being at the bar. And I be having a ball there. But I have the MOST fun.... You guessed it.... When my wife is there.
Like I just genuinely look forward to every single time just me and her get to do something together.... Not cuz I'm bored. Not cuz shit got stale.... But just cuz we dumb as hell when we out together. Like shit at the wedding today she was like.... No you gotta tilt your head down like you bout to drop a gospel album
Shit was comical to me. We be geeking. Have arguments and beef with each other too.... But we have more fun together than anything else
Scandalust313
Unshakeable Unbreakable Victorious
Iowno Monk...friendships and marriages have very different dynamics. You don't live with or see your friends day in and day out for years, aren't raising children with your friends, not sharing bills and other responsibilities with your friends. Your Fidelity/infidelity (Lord forbid!) isn't an issue between friends...I could go on. Your expectations are or should be, vasty different for your friends vs. your spouse.
Just my lil two pennies.
The Lonious Monk
Celestial Souljah
You make a good point, but I think in both cases, having the right foundation makes all the difference. Like Du is saying, if your spouse is truly a friend, living together doesn't feel like struggling to keep a spark. It's different for everyone though, I imagine. I can only speak on my experience.
I mean people change over the course of their lifespan. It's like this...
Marriage is about duty. It's not about whether or not you like your spouse. Marriages that are based on like and love aren't gonna last long because after half 5 to 7 years, you are gonna end up with a totally different person for better or worse.
Unless your spouse is a complete asshole or bitch or a just a lazy good for nothing motherfucker, not liking your spouse anymore isn't grounds for a divorce.
Romantic love fades, sparks die out, but are you willing to play your part as a husband or wife? Most people aren't. That's why nobody can stay together these days.
Your spouse should be your friend before anything. How you treat your best friend should be the same way you treat your spouse. Friendship is the basis for all relationships.
Marriage is about duty. It's not about whether or not you like your spouse. Marriages that are based on like and love aren't gonna last long because after half 5 to 7 years, you are gonna end up with a totally different person for better or worse.
Unless your spouse is a complete asshole or bitch or a just a lazy good for nothing motherfucker, not liking your spouse anymore isn't grounds for a divorce.
Romantic love fades, sparks die out, but are you willing to play your part as a husband or wife? Most people aren't. That's why nobody can stay together these days.
Your spouse should be your friend before anything. How you treat your best friend should be the same way you treat your spouse. Friendship is the basis for all relationships.
Like there's nothing I dread to do with my wife.
I feel like people who are worried about keeping things fresh or whatever push themselves through a lot of things they don't want to do.
I feel like people who are worried about keeping things fresh or whatever push themselves through a lot of things they don't want to do.
Like yeah, everybody needs a break adulting and responsibilities.... But a lot of those things that are stressful about life in general are a lot less stressful because of my spouse. We work well together, and often show our appreciation for things we're grateful for.
I don't understand how love fades.
People grow and mature.... But after 13 years I don't see a completely different person to the point I would question if the love changed.
That's why I made my comment about liking the person... Cuz I be watching how some people argue. They so disrespectful and hurtful as shit to a person they married to...I just gotta question do they really even like each other. Like yeah shit will get boring if y'all don't like doing shit together. Yeah you gotta rekindle if months and years go by cuz it's a chore for y'all to do something fun.
Like she gotta drag you out the house?
Those words don't come out my mouth, cuz I'm going to have fun with her regardless where we go
People grow and mature.... But after 13 years I don't see a completely different person to the point I would question if the love changed.
That's why I made my comment about liking the person... Cuz I be watching how some people argue. They so disrespectful and hurtful as shit to a person they married to...I just gotta question do they really even like each other. Like yeah shit will get boring if y'all don't like doing shit together. Yeah you gotta rekindle if months and years go by cuz it's a chore for y'all to do something fun.
Like she gotta drag you out the house?
Those words don't come out my mouth, cuz I'm going to have fun with her regardless where we go