Du said, “if you gotta try to keep the spark in your relationship, you don’t like your spouse.”

[Scandalust313]

You make a good point, but I think in both cases, having the right foundation makes all the difference. Like Du is saying, if your spouse is truly a friend, living together doesn't feel like struggling to keep a spark. It's different for everyone though, I imagine. I can only speak on my experience.

Foundations become shaky and/or need a little work over the years and when it comes to people, we're always changing, evolving...sometimes devolving. Nothing stays the same was really my point. Y'all are still relatively new to marriage. I'm blessed to have grown up with both sets of grandparents...my paternal grandparents were married for 54 years until my grandpa passed. My maternal grandparents were married for 49 years until Grandaddy passed. I won't even mention the marriages of my many aunts and uncles, friends...by all accounts happy marriages, married to their best friends. And they still had/have to work. Sometimes they don't like each other...the fall in and out of love sometimes....usually, one is "in love" while the other has checked out or whatever the case nay be. When y'all get those years under your belt, when unfortunate/tragic circumstances arise (Lord forbid!)... Listen, not trying to "burn no bread on ya" as Grandaddy used to say, but shit happens, people change, circumstances change and sometimes...just SOMETIMES even the best of "foundations" can/will be put to the test.

Like there's nothing I dread to do with my wife.

I feel like people who are worried about keeping things fresh or whatever push themselves through a lot of things they don't want to do.



Like yeah, everybody needs a break adulting and responsibilities.... But a lot of those things that are stressful about life in general are a lot less stressful because of my spouse. We work well together, and often show our appreciation for things we're grateful for.

That's great! I pray for y'all and other married couples that it stays that way for many years to come.

Y'all have a great night...I'm out.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

Foundations become shaky and/or need a little work over the years and when it comes to people, we're always changing, evolving...sometimes devolving. Nothing stays the same was really my point. Y'all are still relatively new to marriage. I'm blessed to have grown up with both sets of grandparents...my paternal grandparents were married for 54 years until my grandpa passed. My maternal grandparents were married for 49 years until Grandaddy passed. I won't even mention the marriages of my many aunts and uncles, friends...by all accounts happy marriages, married to their best friends. And they still had/have to work. Sometimes they don't like each other...the fall in and out of love sometimes....usually, one is "in love" while the other has checked out or whatever the case nay be. When y'all get those years under your belt, when unfortunate/tragic circumstances arise (Lord forbid!)... Listen, not trying to "burn no bread on ya" as Grandaddy used to say, but shit happens, people change, circumstances change and sometimes...just SOMETIMES even the best of "foundations" can/will be put to the test.

True. Relationships require work, even the good ones. I won't deny that.