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Deadspin's Annual NFL "Why your team sucks" series

Hustletown said:
They haven’t done the saints yet. They go by record.

I think the packers are tomorrow
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https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-green-bay-packers-1828354098

They signed Jimmy Graham, which would have been incredibly exciting if this had been the year 2014. They also signed Marcedes Lewis, which also would have been incredibly exciting if this had been the year 1906. Those two will be tasked with picking up the production lost when Jordy Nelson went to Oakland. I can’t even imagine what kind of extended mourning period these fans had for Jordy when he left. I picture a 450-pound man man sitting shiva in a ranch-style house, surrounded by loved ones and trays of bean dip, quietly dabbing away his tears as he watches grainy footage of Jordy on a VHS player because modern entertainment options haven’t arrived in that godforsaken icehole yet.
 
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https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-arizona-cardinals-1828362528

Your 2017 record: 8-8. Congratulations, Arizona. Your painfully brief stretch of tangential NFL relevance is now OVER. Bruce Arians opted for a retirement full of bad hats and nitroglycerin tablets. Carson Palmer hung up both his prosthetic knees. David Johnson suffered the first of MANY season-ending injuries. It’s all over now, but what a run! You were an NFC finalist one time! HANG A BANNER. Years from now, you’ll tell your grandkids about the Arians/Palmer glory days, and those grandkids won’t give a shit because they’ll be Cowboys fans.
 
@King Du

who else a ravens fan...aint you one @IP360?

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https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-baltimore-ravens-1828383756

Your quarterback: It’s Joe Flacco, who has regressed every year since the Super Bowl. He is so firmly un-elite that you don’t even have to ask anymore. He is Andy Dalton with a ring. But I can guarantee you that he will keep his stranglehold on this job even with stud rookie Lamar Jackson waiting on deck. Flacco will still be out there in November, losing games and taking sacks and struggling for basic yardage. And you’re gonna be like WHERE THE FUCK IS LAMAR? And then Harbs will get progressively testier during each postgame presser, finally blowing up at some poor beat writer and flatly stating that Flacco is HIS guy, all before ownership forces him to start Jackson two weeks later. I can see it as clearly as I can see my own children’s faces.
 
I stopped giving a fuck about the Ravens after that Ray Rice shit
 
AP21 said:
@King Du

who else a ravens fan...aint you one @IP360?

liwkujbkvkfuu4r55d4b.png


https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-baltimore-ravens-1828383756

Your quarterback: It’s Joe Flacco, who has regressed every year since the Super Bowl. He is so firmly un-elite that you don’t even have to ask anymore. He is Andy Dalton with a ring. But I can guarantee you that he will keep his stranglehold on this job even with stud rookie Lamar Jackson waiting on deck. Flacco will still be out there in November, losing games and taking sacks and struggling for basic yardage. And you’re gonna be like WHERE THE FUCK IS LAMAR? And then Harbs will get progressively testier during each postgame presser, finally blowing up at some poor beat writer and flatly stating that Flacco is HIS guy, all before ownership forces him to start Jackson two weeks later. I can see it as clearly as I can see my own children’s faces.
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The Andy Dalton comparison is inaccurate. I've seen Dalton play in person our 1st game last season...TERRIBLE.I can't front...after Flacco won the SB...he hasn't been playing up par wit that big contract he got.

Offensively...part of that is on him. He's been mediocre at best. But part of that is our lack of a running back after the Ray Rice situation. Plus not having a good receiving squad. Rarely you saw him throw deep. Hopefully this season our guys look good.

Defensively...SECONDARY...SECONDARY...SECONDARY!! This one thing that has her hurt us big. AND our inability to stop the run. Our defense is just now starting to get back to how we were b4, but still need more work.

I will say if Flacco dont come thru in the next 4 games...you will see Jackson start. RG3 will get put in...but meh. I would like Jackson to sit back and learn 1st b4 gettin put out on the field. But if the Ravens fans put that pressure, and Flacco keeps sliding downhill, then they have no choice. That's just my opinion.
 
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IP360 said:
The Andy Dalton comparison is inaccurate. I've seen Dalton play in person our 1st game last season...TERRIBLE.I can't front...after Flacco won the SB...he hasn't been playing up par wit that big contract he got.

Offensively...part of that is on him. He's been mediocre at best. But part of that is our lack of a running back after the Ray Rice situation. Plus not having a good receiving squad. Rarely you saw him throw deep. Hopefully this season our guys look good.

Defensively...SECONDARY...SECONDARY...SECONDARY!! This one thing that has her hurt us big. AND our inability to stop the run. Our defense is just now starting to get back to how we were b4, but still need more work.

I will say if Flacco dont come thru in the next 4 games...you will see Jackson start. RG3 will get put in...but meh. I would like Jackson to sit back and learn 1st put gettin put out on the field. But if the Ravens fans put that pressure, and Flacco keeps sliding downhill, then they have no choice. That's just my opinion.
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aye man, lol

dont come in here trying to apply logic
 
Flacco been trash even before the ring.

He had some okay and trash years. Never been top 10 in any season.
 
i dont think IP get the show
 
In regards to Matt Patrica they said, "Gonna be a fun two-and-a-half years for you guys."

Lmao
 
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