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Casual Sex, Ladies?

Thotful Insight said:
When we were in a relationship. You can be in love with someone and not with them for whatever reason and still bone. That's like still having sex with your ex and knowing y'all will never get back together.
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nah I can see how it can be possible to be in love n not together n fucking.

what I'm baffled by is how u can do that n it can be considered casual. cuz it sounds complicated.

casual, I thought, is linked to not having many feelings beyond sex. i might be taking the term casual too literally tho. prolly semantics, as these things usually are.
 
It's a no for me. I'm too worried about catching way more than feelings. I know that no sex is really % 100 safe, but just knowing that if I'm casually fuckin with somebody..most likely they're casually fucking with somebody else..whose prolly fucking THAT person's homeboy's best friend's cousin on their daddy's side. Ugh, and my mom worked in the medical field, so all her gross stories scared me.
 
BNE said:
@Race Jones, is it possible that u were "built for it" for a time n u just evolved into a different stage? not tellin u who u r of c. just wondering how u wld have enjoyed or sought out ur exploration period if it didn't resonate with u in some way
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nah my crazed, emotional, loose cannon ass is not built for it.
I repressed the most delicate parts of myself for so long due to things that occurred in my childhood--- that finally I am beginning to embrace me entirely.
so I know that fucking and running around was cool for what it was but that wasn't the real me, I feel.
the real me, the woman I am exploring and falling in love with as we speak, wouldn't have been down with half of that shit.

....but I had fun tho

shit mad fun. smh lmaooo
 
again, from personal experience, just b/c i had a fwb didnt mean i was out slanging pickle all willy nilly. I knew that i could hit her up when i wanted so there was no need to go get it from other places and vice versa

one of my casual situations ended b/c she was just a rude ass drunk. I aint talking bout like the kinda aggressive but sexy drunk, im talking full fledged didnt remember what happened the night before drunk. I think it was due to previous self esteem issues she shared with me one night pillow talking, but she was just the worst person to be around. Loud, obnoxious, etc...she had some dope ass sex, but it wasnt worth my frustration with her when she drank. And i aint talking about no person who socially drinks. If there was liquor in the building, she was by it.

another casual situation ended b/c she had two daughters and wanted me to be apart of their lives in more than a "mommy's friend AP" capacity, and i wasnt ready for that at all. She was so sweet though, but she was initially mad, but eventually got over it, but she had friend issues. She was always telling her hating ass girlfriends what we were doing and they would pump her head up with dumb shit, so it bothered me she couldnt think on her own. Fortunately, she is now married and her and her husband have had two additional children, so looks like she turned out ok.
 
Simp said:
again, from personal experience, just b/c i had a fwb didnt mean i was out slanging pickle all willy nilly. I knew that i could hit her up when i wanted so there was no need to go get it from other places and vice versa

one of my casual situations ended b/c she was just a rude ass drunk. I aint talking bout like the kinda aggressive but sexy drunk, im talking full fledged didnt remember what happened the night before drunk. I think it was due to previous self esteem issues she shared with me one night pillow talking, but she was just the worst person to be around. Loud, obnoxious, etc...she had some dope ass sex, but it wasnt worth my frustration with her when she drank. And i aint talking about no person who socially drinks. If there was liquor in the building, she was by it.

another casual situation ended b/c she had two daughters and wanted me to be apart of their lives in more than a "mommy's friend AP" capacity, and i wasnt ready for that at all. She was so sweet though, but she was initially mad, but eventually got over it, but she had friend issues. She was always telling her hating ass girlfriends what we were doing and they would pump her head up with dumb shit, so it bothered me she couldnt think on her own. Fortunately, she is now married and her and her husband have had two additional children, so looks like she turned out ok.
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wait, 1 chick wanted u to be involved in her kids life when u were only casually fuckin? how? why?

r u sure u communicated that it wasnt a relationship? cuz that sounds like she was under a diff impression?
 
well we definitely need to modify our thinking on STI/STDs and stop putting them into some special box.
half the time sex education is steeped in sex-negativity and slut-shaming.

so theres that.
 
hell, if anything, removing the stigma around STI's makes ppl much more likely to get tested, which in turn will decrease STI transmissions.


thats what we should be striving for.
 
BNE said:
wait, 1 chick wanted u to be involved in her kids life when u were only casually fuckin? how? why?

r u sure u communicated that it wasnt a relationship? cuz that sounds like she was under a diff impression?
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i think it was more of Race's example. Like this chick was super cool, and i knew she had kids. She told me that from jump, but irl, im a real cool nigga, and she liked the fact that i had good dick and i could hold a conversation so she got super comfortable REAL quick. I wasnt tripping b/c she was still with the program and i respected her barriers about her kids and shit

then one day, she wanted me to come spend the night at her place and bless her with some pickle. My memory is hazy, but i dont think i knew her kids were there, but they knew i was b/c AP was blowing that back out...

but anyway, we had been dealing with each other for a few months, hanging out and doing shit. I aint do nothing with her kids or nothing like that, but she just kept trying to figure out why i was single...FF then she tells me what i shared earlier about her wanting me to be with her b/c she just knew how i wanted to be treated and she could do that to make sure there was nothing i would ever want from another female.
 
Race Jones said:
well we definitely need to modify our thinking on STI/STDs and stop putting them into some special box.
half the time sex education is steeped in sex-negativity and slut-shaming.

so theres that.
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Race Jones said:
hell, if anything, removing the stigma around STI's makes ppl much more likely to get tested, which in turn will decrease STI transmissions.


thats what we should be striving for.
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thank you for these
 
Race Jones said:
hell, if anything, removing the stigma around STI's makes ppl much more likely to get tested, which in turn would decrease STI transmissions.
thats what we should be striving for.
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good point, if stds werent seen as a sign of nastiness, there wldnt be weird feelings round getting tested

or around disclosing incurables. ppl with herpes (even those who got it via philandering spouses or summin) have a hard time tellin sum1 cuz its associated with dirtiness or bein an untouchable.

i see what u mean bout the shamin bein counteractive
 
MeanieJosh said:
Condoms are woat, another why casual sex is trash
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no shade my nigga but have u used em before? i thot u were pure
Simp said:
i think it was more of Race's example. Like this chick was super cool, and i knew she had kids. She told me that from jump, but irl, im a real cool nigga, and she liked the fact that i had good dick and i could hold a conversation so she got super comfortable REAL quick. I wasnt tripping b/c she was still with the program and i respected her barriers about her kids and shit

then one day, she wanted me to come spend the night at her place and bless her with some pickle. My memory is hazy, but i dont think i knew her kids were there, but they knew i was b/c AP was blowing that back out...

but anyway, we had been dealing with each other for a few months, hanging out and doing shit. I aint do nothing with her kids or nothing like that, but she just kept trying to figure out why i was single...FF then she tells me what i shared earlier about her wanting me to be with her b/c she just knew how i wanted to be treated and she could do that to make sure there was nothing i would ever want from another female.
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my bad, I wasn't confused that she caught feelings. thats understandable n common.

but why did she want u as a fuck buddy to have a role in her kids life? thats what I cant wrap my head around.
 
BNE said:
nah I can see how it can be possible to be in love n not together n fucking.

what I'm baffled by is how u can do that n it can be considered casual. cuz it sounds complicated.

casual, I thought, is linked to not having many feelings beyond sex. i might be taking the term casual too literally tho. prolly semantics, as these things usually are.
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Casual sex to me is calling someone up to fuck and going on about your business til the next time.
 
BNE said:
good point, if stds werent seen as a sign of nastiness, there wldnt be weird feelings round getting tested

or around disclosing incurables. ppl with herpes (even those who got it via philandering spouses or summin) have a hard time tellin sum1 cuz its associated with dirtiness or bein an untouchable.

i see what u mean bout the shamin bein counteractive
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my point exactly.
 
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