2023/2024 Football/Soccer Thread ⚽️
- Thread starter Infamous114
- Start date
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- football
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Hardest group...
...Fun!
...Fun!
Yessir!
Nice group we fell in lol
Blue_London
OG
Dortmund is a joke
LOL yes but we can't overlook them. Group is very homogeneous. I wonder how we match up against Newcastle
Blue_London
OG
lol didn't he go to china?
Man doesn't hide the fact he's after a bag lol
Blue_London
OG
The cash Liverpool is giving to Bayern they better give that to Chelsea for chalobah
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
Seems Italy or Turkey bound at this rate...hopefully the former so that he has to get talked about if he does well relatively in some way
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
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“I work for a far bigger broadcaster than I did in the UK. I have a much bigger job.” - Qatar football presenter Richard Keys, who is definitely not still bitter about Sky sacking him 12 years ago. |
Quote of the day
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
FOOTBALL
Phys-ty shades of grey
A bawdy cheer went up in the grubby newsrooms of Britain’s tabloids this week as news broke of a steamy, tell-all memoir from a former Premier League physio.
The book spills the beans on a string of sexual encounters with sports stars including “two of the world's best tennis players, an England cricket star and rugby players”.
In one chapter, the “anonymous lady in white” describes how she was seduced by an England footballer during a massage, before another “equally famous” player joined them for a threesome.
It was pretty explosive stuff, and the red tops gobbled it up.
Although judging by this line in the (self-published) book’s blurb, it sounds an awful lot like erotic fan fiction:
It features many big, strong, manly sportsmen who seduce her and have glorious sexual liaisons with her.
Bets are off, but we’re guessing it was written by a 55-year-old bloke called Kevin in the garage of his bungalow in Milton Keynes.
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
RUGBY
Elton gone
With the Rugby World Cup just a week away, we were praying South Africa would hand a late call-up to the Upshot’s Wrong’un of the Year, Elton Jantjies.
On his last international tour, Elton abandoned the squad to run off with the team dietician, Zeenat Simjee.
The pair checked into a hotel where their loud shagging kept other guests awake, and they racked up a £1300 bill on food and booze then did a runner.
Elton has been quietly rebuilding his career since then, and was even called upon by South Africa as injury cover during the summer.
But any hopes of seeing Jantjies having a crack at the physios in France were dealt a cruel blow this week, as he tested positive for a banned bodybuilding drug.
If only he knew a good dietician…
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