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2022/2023 Football/Soccer Thread

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Water Ur Seeds said:
ETH normally gets his subs right but to think he got it wrong tonight... Antony was smashing them, taking him off kind of gave them breathing room... The Weg, well.... hes The Weg...

Losing Rashford, Bruno, Martinez and Varane is not good... Have we still got Jones??? Would rather have him and Shaw CBs then Maguire...

Martial had a great first half, basically set up the first goal aswell as the 2nd...
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Antony had to come off, he was in limbo with a reaction multiple times. Jones will show up with a new contract when the window opens.

Maguire wasn’t at fault for the og, malacia was getting battered all game and was all over the place, should have come off half time.
 
Blue_London said:
There has never been a footballer that has had the streets like Martial I'm starting to believe he's a cult leader
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Martial law

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Quote of the day​

"We were shit, but I was there" - a commemorative keyring given to fans by Dutch side Den Bosch after they lost 13-0.

FOOTBALL​

🧠 Corden's at the wheel​

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Chelsea fans might be depressed about their season, but they know this is just phase one in owner Todd Boehly's masterplan. And he definitely knows what he's doing. Right?

With his side 12th in the Premier League after a defeat to lowly Wolves, Boehly arrived for the first leg against serial champions Real Madrid with the confident prediction: "Chelsea is gonna win 3-0".

His optimism must have rubbed off on caretaker boss Frank Lampard. After Real taught his side a lesson in a 2-0 win, the shell-shocked gaffer admitted: "We didn't realise how good they were”.

Lampard's poor start will come as a surprise to Todd's unofficial Director of Football: James Corden.

Boehly and Corden are good friends and club insiders say the chat show host recommended Lampard for the manager's job, which will no doubt reassure fans that everything's going to be alright.

Luckily for Frank and Todd none of this matters - Chelsea have a guaranteed Champions League spot, after all.
 

FOOTBALL​

🌞 Cousin Bruno! You look like a ghost​

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It's always hard persuading foreign stars to swap tapas and sun for the Curry Mile and 150 days of rain per year.

Angel Di Maria's wife branded Manchester "a disgusting shithole", while former Man City striker Nolito lamented "my daughter’s face has changed colour – it looks like she’s been living in a cave".

So with a big game against sun-kissed Spaniards Sevilla coming up, you can't blame Bruno Fernandes for hot-footing it to a local tanning salon for a quick glow-up before he greeted his Iberian cousins.

Sandwiched between a Subway and a big Sainsbury's, Indigo Sun isn't the most glamorous of spots to top up your Vitamin D, but judging by his Tesco trip back in 2020, Bruno's always liked a bargain...
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FOOTBALL​

⚔️ Main Mane​

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Sadio Mane never felt he got the respect he deserved at Anfield, so it wasn't a huge surprise when he left to replace Robert Lewandowski as the main man at Bayern Munich.

But six months on it looks like the power might have gone to his head.

After a dressing room fight with Julian Nagelsmann led to the Bayern manager getting sacked, the Senegal captain stepped it up a notch on Wednesday night.

Upset at teammate Leroy Sane, Mane squared up to the German winger after the game, and ended up punching him in the mouth.

Bayern have now suspended him and he's on thin ice.

But at least his legacy is secure in Senegal, thanks to this statue in his hometown...
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FOOTBALL​

🎤 Causing a Sturr​

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Daniel Sturridge won plenty of praise for his "refreshing insights" on his Sky Sports punditry debut, even if he was dressed like an MTV presenter.

But before he gets the Football Focus gig and the BBC parachute him on to the One Show sofa, we should probably draw their attention to the pre-match analysis videos he posts on Instagram.

We say "analysis", but the clips just consist of Sturridge performing a kind of slam poetry: rapping, dancing and singing players' names before naming the team he expects to win.
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Looking ahead to Man City's tie with Bayern Munich, he sings: "KDB, KDB, how do you pass with such precision," before blurting out "Jack Hair Slick Back Grealish".

"And we have Mr 1,2,3,4, throw up the 5, Erling Haaland," Sturridge continues, dancing slightly before quickly backing Bayern Munich to win.

They lost.
 

FOOTBALL​

🍆 When we said Hardy Out, that's not what we meant​

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Following last week's story about Notts County's shyster owner Russell King, thank you to diehard Magpie James, who wrote in to tell us about the equally dramatic demise of King's successor.

Alan Hardy guided the club to rock bottom of the football league pyramid, before accidentally tweeting two pictures of his penis while trying to argue with a fan.

Panicking, Hardy apologised, deleted his Twitter account and put the club up for sale.
 

💉 Quick hits​

😵‍💫 N'Golo Kante has only played five games this season, but they've been under four different managers.

🧠 The first letters of each paragraph in Luton’s recent programme spelled out ‘Watford are shit’.

👴🏻 Since the English football league began in April 1888, James Milner has played in 1.2% of top flight matches.

✂️ After Olympiacos terminated James Rodriguez's contract, fans are once again asking where it all went wrong for the former wonderkid. As always, we turn to this viral text from his Everton days for answers...
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@thefrenchwood Mbappe staying beyond 2024? 🤔

www.90min.com

Kylian Mbappe teases contract decision with Champions League vow

Kylian Mbappe hints at a decision over his future at PSG amid interest from Real Madrid.
www.90min.com www.90min.com

"My next goal in my career is to win the Champions League once and for all, I think," he told Tout Le Sport. "I've already played in the final, the semi-finals, the quarter-finals, the round of 16... I have everything, but I still need to win. That's all I need in my career.
"I want to win the Champions League at Paris Saint-Germain, I'm from Paris and I have a contract. So it will be at PSG."
 
Englishdude said:
Antony had to come off, he was in limbo with a reaction multiple times. Jones will show up with a new contract when the window opens.

Maguire wasn’t at fault for the og, malacia was getting battered all game and was all over the place, should have come off half time.
Click to expand...

I didnt watch the game in full only in parts... What do you mean Antony was in limbo with a reaction???

From what I saw Antony was pushing them back and giving them nightmares, when he came off they started having more success, like it relived pressure...

Also, please dont back Maguire, its always his fault...
 
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