13 Signs Of A Toxic Parent and How They Damage Their Children Without Realizing It

[Duwop]

fear of parents isn't healthy.

parents purpose is to nurture and empower kids with tools to navigate life.

find you someone who can do both

 

[AP2.5]

i think whats being said is that your kids shouldnt view you as peers

that if they fear you, that comes with a level respect. Not fear in the sense that you will beat them senseless, but the fact they know there will be consequences behind their actions.

 

[Golden]

find you someone who can do both

fear of fire, falling and predators is natural. fear of parents is only natural for animals like spiders, whose parents might actually kill them.

nothing healthy about fearing a figure that's supposed to protect you.

i think whats being said is that your kids shouldnt view you as peers

that if they fear you, that comes with a level respect. Not fear in the sense that you will beat them senseless, but the fact they know there will be consequences behind their actions.

I don't view the elderly as peers and I respect my elders. I sure don't fear them though, because they don't pose a threat.

Parents shouldn't pose a threat to children. If they view that as necessary for attaining respect, their view of respect is problematic.

 

[Golden]

Encouraging fear is also a great way to get lied to.

 

[Duwop]

i was too scared to lie to my mother

 

[Golden]

i was too scared to lie to my mother

doesn't mean being afraid of your mother is natural.

 

[Duwop]

doesn't mean being afraid of your mother is natural.

it wasn't toxic...it was a healthy fear

 

[Golden]

it wasn't toxic...it was a healthy fear

what makes fear of parents healthier than respecting parents without underlying fear?

 

[Duwop]

what makes fear of parents healthier than respecting parents without underlying fear?

i never said that

 

[Race Jones]

sadly, non-black ppl of color treat non-violence against kids like a "white person thing" too just as often

I don't care about WP I'm speaking about us specifically

 

[Golden]

i never said that

but you said this

every child should have a healthy fear of their parents....

without making a case for it beyond "it happened to me and I came out decent".

advocating for every family to adopt a fear-inducing approach indicates that it's preferable to alternatives.

 

[Race Jones]

Proof?

I listen to Black folks day in and day out romanticize whuppings, pain, and trauma from their childhoods.

I listen to BLACK kids tell me how theyre scared of their parents and feel alone at home.

I don't have time to care about what white folks are doing, I know that spankings and fear are discipline techniques in our communities.

I know we romanticize tough love when really it's just plain ol abuse.




This is something my friend wrote and I think she hit it right on the head

Also for reference:

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/03/10/opinion/sunday/stop-beating-black-children.html


https://www.google.com/amp/amp.slat...top_spanking_its_kids_says_author_stacey.html

 

[Duwop]

Because that's how I feel about children and parents. A healthy fear is necessary. Remember poltergeist??

dude...white dude mind you.....the chick said which parent does the kid fear more? who is the afraid of?


and it saved the kids life....from ghost trini.....if the kid wasn't scared.....the ghosts win....

 

[Race Jones]

What the fuck is healthy fear?

 

[Golden]

I luh Stacey Patton

 

[Duwop]

I listen to Black folks day in and day out romanticize whuppings, pain, and trauma from their childhoods.

I listen to BLACK kids tell me how theyre scared of their parents and feel alone at home.

I don't have time to care about what white folks are doing, I know that spankings and fear are discipline techniques in our communities.

I know we romanticize tough love when really it's just plain ol abuse.


View attachment 9259

This is something my friend wrote and I think she hit it right on the head

Also for reference:

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/03/10/opinion/sunday/stop-beating-black-children.html


https://www.google.com/amp/amp.slat...top_spanking_its_kids_says_author_stacey.html

that's an ignorant point of view because it makes the assumption that this is a black exclusive discussion.

just cuz all you talk to in your life is black people, doesn't mean black people the only people having those discussions....

i feel like it's just another excuse for black people to attack black people....

my wife works in daycare... white couple just divorced because they had a disagreement on discipline for their son....the father believed in whoopings, the mom didn't...they couldn't come to an agreement... it ruined their marriage.....


this was a military dad... his dad was military......

the woman was venting to my wife about it all, about how the white guy and his white siblings would all talk about how their dad used to whoop them and this and that... blah blah blah...

point is.....it's ignorant to think that only black people are having these conversations...

but no... let's just attack our on people in general and say we're all mentally scarred, and we're so addicted to trauma......cuz we talk about the same shit that everybody else talk about

let's give black people heavier sentencing for commenting the same crimes everybody else does...
let's continue to act surprised every time a black father is there for his kids, when numbers have shown that in comparison we're far more present than many groups...

but perceptions....

when we do it.... it's cuz something is innately wrong with us....

when white folk whoop their kids... it's corporal punishment...

when black folk whoop their kids it's a mental deficiency...

:smh:

 

[Old Man Cain]

@BNE is white?

 

[Golden]

when white folk whoop their kids... it's corporal punishment...

when black folk whoop their kids it's a mental deficiency...

corporal punishment is a mental deficiency no matter who does it.

I think @Race Jones is tryna say that whether white ppl do it too is immaterial to the fact that black people doing it is harmful to the black community. not that black ppl r the main offenders. least that's what I think, anyway.

@BNE is white?

nope but u r

:mhm:

 

[SeaSnake]

What the fuck is healthy fear?

Lol I guess like being scared to put metal stuff in microwaves. But I think he means like fear of doing something that could kill you.

 

[Race Jones]

Lol I guess like being scared to put metal stuff in microwaves. But I think he means like fear of doing something that could kill you.

That's not what I would consider healthy fear.

That's common sense.