Memphis mom accused of murder of 20 year old man in daughter’s bedroom

Duwop said:
That's a life lesson she rightfully learned by dealing with a grown man.

If it was a boy her age, it might not have resulted in death and not having her mother at home. And she needs to understand that going forward in life. I ain't saying throw the girl in jail. But whoever is the next responsible adult that has to deal with her needs to place emphasis on everything that transpire and let her know... She is not to be sneaking anybody in any more houses she resides in.

Like think if this was your niece, and your sister went to jail. And she had to come into your home? Would you not be more diligent in paying attention to how she moves and if she's still in the business of trying to talk to grown ass men??

Or would you just give her the benefit of doubt and not bother?
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Yeah i would be more diligent but thats said with the hindsight of what's already happened. So it's easier to say "see look what happened last time you did this." Even beforehand you can emphasize the fact that bad actions= bad consequences every day. But at 13 most of them not really thinking that breaking one of your parents rules will result in somebody dying.
 
BlackRain said:
Im saying that at 19 I didn't have to sneak anything. I would just bring the girl to the crib. Wasn't no sneaking around or having to try and hide. She walking in through the front door.
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And im saying it doesn't necessarily call for flags being raised about it which was the point I was countering. Its a regular thing. Some parents are more conservative about that kind of thing than others. My parents wanted to be introduced to girls I was dating they didn't want to see chicks I was just piping or random drunk hoes I brought home from the club at 3 in the morning. So yeah there was some sneaking around. 🤷🏿‍♂️

But legal drinking age is 19 here so maybe thats a factor.
 
Knock_Twice said:
I know you didn't say it,

Being dumb doesn't absorb you from being held accountable for you actions.

If a teen robs a bank, they shouldn't be let off the hook?

If a teen robs you, you would want them to be prosecuted.


If a teen crosses that line of knowing what's wrong, they should be held accountable for their actions.

What happens, teens that get told that, it's not their fault, or it was the "other" side that made the mess, they grow up to be adults who always put blame on to others.

They don't know how to handle be accountable for their fuck ups.

Start holding children and teens accountable for actions and cutting down excuses, you may get a better person.
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Exactly. I didn't say to not hold them accountable. But placing expectations for adult levels of comprehension on a barely teenage kid will continue to disappoint you. Because their brains are basically wired for them to fuck up and learn a lesson. Rinse and repeat....
 
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BlackRain said:
Yeah i would be more diligent but thats said with the hindsight of what's already happened. So it's easier to say "see look what happened last time you did this." Even beforehand you can emphasize the fact that bad actions= bad consequences every day. But at 13 most of them not really thinking that breaking one of your parents rules will result in somebody dying.
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That's where it gets sketchy....

Yeah, a fellow 13 year old boy? No

But a 20 year old man?? At 13 you gotta realize shit gonna be way worse. Maybe it's cuz I got nieces that age.... But they gotta understand... Even entertaining the idea that it's chill to have a grown up bf will lead to the most unpleasant of circumstances.

I'm very big on bringing whoever you're talking to, to the adults, so they know who you're with. If everything is sneak sneak.... You ain't gotta immediately assume death.... But you gotta understand that this is not the situation where you invite a person into the house you live in...

Like she should absolutely carry some of the weight of the severity of what happened. You don't let her go thinking she did nothing wrong. Not at that age....
 
Black_Samson said:
I tell her the rules and the consequences for breaking each rule.

It’s a dictatorship not a democracy, ain’t no discussion because that leads to being reactionary like the mother was.

Discussing things muddies the waters.

Leaves no room for guessing or thinking they can game the system, because even that will be covered.

If they don’t like it, there’s a girls camp up in Arizona that fights wild fires, they’d love to have her.
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My parents threatened military school for me

But then when they actually called they were told no lol
 
Duwop said:
That's where it gets sketchy....

Yeah, a fellow 13 year old boy? No

But a 20 year old man?? At 13 you gotta realize shit gonna be way worse. Maybe it's cuz I got nieces that age.... But they gotta understand... Even entertaining the idea that it's chill to have a grown up bf will lead to the most unpleasant of circumstances.

I'm very big on bringing whoever you're talking to, to the adults, so they know who you're with. If everything is sneak sneak.... You ain't gotta immediately assume death.... But you gotta understand that this is not the situation where you invite a person into the house you live in...

Like she should absolutely carry some of the weight of the severity of what happened. You don't let her go thinking she did nothing wrong. Not at that age....
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Emotionally and mentally she'll carry the weight forever. She knows her actions contributed to a person's death. Thats alot for anyone to grapple with but especially a child.

And as much as we may want kids to understand from just telling them what may happen some just won't get it. Some may find out from observing other people fuck up and some may find out from living through the consequences of their actions. I don't think anyone is saying to let her think she did nothing wrong. Thats already been established by her own mother's reaction. What I'm saying is to be shocked that a 13 year old didn't fully consider the severity of the potential consequences makes no sense. Its a 13 year old. Thats at minimum end of 7th grade and max early 9th grade. Those aren't really prime years of maturity and decision making.
 
Bruh, considering my son is currently 15, and my niece is 14, I think they both understand that if they had been in that girls s shoes, and snuck a grown adult into my home when I wasn't there... Theres a very strong chance that I would have erased that adult from the planet if I caught them there.

Like, I'm not even abusive or extra violent with the kids, but I am that strict and consistent that they realize something like that is beyond a 10/10 violation.... And if I did what Mom in this story did, I don't picture either of them being surprised.

Like, at all.....

And I still prolly wouldn't have shot dude.

I'm just saying, at 13, you definitely know better.
 
Duwop said:
I'll keep it a buck, I was a 20 year old dude that got lied to, or well... deceived.

From my perspective, I was driving by the community college, and I saw a cute chick on the bus stop with a kid, at like 10pm on a weekday...I pulled up...and was like, you need a ride...

She came off like a chick who was in night classes while tryna raise a kid....I kicked it with her for a minute.... Until, I found out one day, from her mom, that she was actually 16.. She was at the community college tryna get her GED, cuz she dropped out, due to the kid. Shorty was 100% underage, and the was the absolute last time I reached out to her...

There was no sneaking around situation, cuz she really moved around like she was grown...well her people's let her move around like she was grown. She had me thinking she was grown.

But she wasn't. And that shit fucked me up, I think I went celibate for a year after the experience.
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Yeah it happens. Had one guy who worked for me meet a girl at the club dropped her off at home got some top in the driveway like a idiot and of course her mom came running out the house. The mom came to the club the next night saying she was only 17 using her older sisters ID and threatened to call the cops luckily she didn't actually catch her giving him head or she probably would have called the cops before that I had to do some serious reasoning with her.

A chick that was a regular for 2-3 yrs had the nerve to have her 19th birthday there then ask me for a job 🤦🏿 that was so fucked up, bitch was in the club at 16. But she was badder than most of the bartenders working there at the time so we put her on lol.

We had a card scanner so we were constantly rejecting fake ID but that made the guys at the front door lazy. They would just be scanning it and letting everyone through instead of seriously looking at the people so I had to put new guys on the door and stop using it.

And I knew a lot of dudes that were 17yrs old in the clubs fucking on unsuspecting girls/women.

It's dangerous out here for sure.
 
Duwop said:
Bruh, considering my son is currently 15, and my niece is 14, I think they both understand that if they had been in that girls s shoes, and snuck a grown adult into my home when I wasn't there... Theres a very strong chance that I would have erased that adult from the planet if I caught them there.

Like, I'm not even abusive or extra violent with the kids, but I am that strict and consistent that they realize something like that is beyond a 10/10 violation.... And if I did what Mom in this story did, I don't picture either of them being surprised.

Like, at all.....

And I still prolly wouldn't have shot dude.

I'm just saying, at 13, you definitely know better.
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Knowing better and doing better are 2 different things. You also talking about your own kids. You raised them so you can have an inkling into how they would react. You didn't raise that little girl. Ain't no telling what that mother daughter relationship was like before this. But the fact that the mother even had to make this type of threat shows it ain't the 1st time she tried something like this.

And even with you saying you probably wouldn't have shot the guy shows that if your kids have to consider the consequences you killing the person isn't the top option for consequences.
 
Its crazy.... There are far too many parents who let their kids move around like adults....

Now the 20 year old dude, sneaking in?? He was dead wrong for lack of better words... But there are a lotta kids moving around at that age, not sneaking, and getting people caught up in situations that shouldn't even present themselves. And that's not saying anything other than parents need to be accountable for the predicaments they place their children in.

No 13 year old should be confident enough in sneaking someone in their house when their parents aren't home..I think my son, my daughter, my niece all understand... That's like the top of the top worst thing you can do... The consequences are too severe....add to that, you sneaking a whole adult in??

Like, the mom was still dead ass wrong for shooting that man in the back of the head..... But that 13 year old girl gotta know better...
Like she gotta..... If your kid at 13 don't know better... What are you really doing as a parent??
 
Duwop said:
Its crazy.... There are far too many parents who let their kids move around like adults....

Now the 20 year old dude, sneaking in?? He was dead wrong for lack of better words... But there are a lotta kids moving around at that age, not sneaking, and getting people caught up in situations that shouldn't even present themselves. And that's not saying anything other than parents need to be accountable for the predicaments they place their children in.

No 13 year old should be confident enough in sneaking someone in their house when their parents aren't home..I think my son, my daughter, my niece all understand... That's like the top of the top worst thing you can do... The consequences are too severe....add to that, you sneaking a whole adult in??

Like, the mom was still dead ass wrong for shooting that man in the back of the head..... But that 13 year old girl gotta know better...
Like she gotta..... If your kid at 13 don't know better... What are you really doing as a parent??
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If I say what's on my mind about the parent child dynamic in this situation people are going to get triggered lol. It's something happening either no one else sees or no one wants to admit or maybe im tripping. Imma let it play out tho. Hopefully one of yall keeps this updated during the trial.
 
Duwop said:
Its crazy.... There are far too many parents who let their kids move around like adults....

Now the 20 year old dude, sneaking in?? He was dead wrong for lack of better words... But there are a lotta kids moving around at that age, not sneaking, and getting people caught up in situations that shouldn't even present themselves. And that's not saying anything other than parents need to be accountable for the predicaments they place their children in.

No 13 year old should be confident enough in sneaking someone in their house when their parents aren't home..I think my son, my daughter, my niece all understand... That's like the top of the top worst thing you can do... The consequences are too severe....add to that, you sneaking a whole adult in??

Like, the mom was still dead ass wrong for shooting that man in the back of the head..... But that 13 year old girl gotta know better...
Like she gotta..... If your kid at 13 don't know better... What are you really doing as a parent??
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I think the extreme of the consequences is where it falls off for "you gotta know better". I agree she should've known better that she shouldn't be sneaking anyone, let alone a 20 year old, into the house. I just don't think she, nor 99.9% of 13 year olds "gotta know" the result will be death. Because that ain't the normal outcome for a situation like this. Or else there'd be alot more dead motherfuckers and parents locked up.
 
She's fucked.

When will people get it that because someone does something wrong doesn't mean that you can do absolutely anything to him/her.
 
Making it personal.

If my 13 year old niece snuck a 20 year old dude in my house. She would be foolish to think that this won't end up being a police situation.

That's just my house.
 
Wait Wait.

So we are saying this 13 year is old enough and mature enough to carry the burden of her mother being lost? Shes grown and will be aware of this situation but she is short of thinking about the act that she committed?

One minute she can carry the world on her shoulders, she is able to process the dead dude, and mama in prison but she couldn't process the fact that she should not be talking to an older dude?


Come on yall. You cant make her having an IQ of a nerd in one aspect and make her dumb in another aspect.
 
AP4.0 said:
Well

Lemme ask you. If a 16 yr old girl walking downtown at lunch and approached you, are you going to entertain her?
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No,
And to add on to the example, I would hope that this 16 year old know when she approaches the next grown man, that she could end up in prison behind her actions...along with the man or woman she approaches.

Gotta go, gotta go.

I'm sure she was told not to approach grown men or grown women...however how she may get down
 
Duwop said:
Making it personal.

If my 13 year old niece snuck a 20 year old dude in my house. She would be foolish to think that this won't end up being a police situation.

That's just my house.
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Word. Me and ol boy either running the fade or he going to jail. I might let him pick lol. I let my niece bring her little friend over for dinner and to play ps5 when she was in her last year of high school. One cause it was a controlled environment and two so he could get a good look at what he was up against if he didn't handle her right.

They still together 6-7 yrs later. He's cool w me.
 
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AP4.0 said:
Well

Lemme ask you. If a 16 yr old girl walking downtown at lunch and approached you, are you going to entertain her?
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The 13 year old me would. Now with this new added element..some parents may frown on that...Mines didn't...her parents may...
She'll be 18, and I'll be 15 in 2 years...Now how does life look?
 
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