I need help,

[5th Letter]

I never been tamed. I've always done what i wanted in a relationship. I treated my partners pretty terribly

but with him I cook and clean and actually talk my feelings out. i dont go to the club or bars not just because im with him but because i have no desire too.

it was just time to grow up and when we both stopped playing games and actually saw what we had. we got out of our own way and its been pretty magical

we go thru shit and have our days but overall this nigga has become my best friend and for a woman who never gave a rats ass about men,

hes super special to me

You met your match. Congratulations on the relationship and to answer your question just go for it. You’re clearly happy.

 

[BRIAN B.]

I mean


if you gotta ask us

 

[Goldie]

Did he propose with a ring or via text?

 

[Elzo69Renaissance]

Getting engaged isn’t the same as getting married. If you two love each other and aren’t getting married as soon as this year, why not say yes?

I must mention that I’m not or have never been married, so what the fuck so I know…..

Either way I’m happy for you both and good luck!

“ by the time you get married, you have already been married for a while”

 

[Elzo69Renaissance]

Did he propose with a ring or via text?

 

[loud-ninja]

Before you take that jump, yall have to have a serious talk about roles, finances, kids, where you all want to live.

 

[Elzo69Renaissance]

Before you take that jump, yall have to have a serious talk about roles, finances, kids, where you all want to live.

“ by the time you get married, you have already been married for a while”

………..

 

[Sony Montana]

Before you take that jump, yall have to have a serious talk about roles, finances, kids, where you all want to live.

Lol Chill…

 

[loud-ninja]

Lol Chill…

Why?

 

[Sony Montana]

Why?

Let her get married next week for the shenanigans

 

[ImaInfluenza]

also i have changed drastically.
i no longer party, drink, or cuss him out

i started a spiritual journey with him and we spend our days in the house or around his family

this man has tamed a wild bear
hes changed a great deal as well and overall we have a peaceful union but still….

im super nervous about marriage
i never even thought of marriage ever

Betta not

 

[Stomp Johnson]

Part of marriage is shared finances.
Some of the best advice I got early on is keep yourself your own personal checking account in addition to the one you share for bills and shit. That way you have your own play money set aside for your own whims without being a drain on the house money.

I still think you need to be battle tested before getting married tho. If those battles yall went through together served to make yall stronger and strengthen your bond then yall may have something. Don't think the worst is over tho, life always has some shit up its sleeve so buckle up, communicate, and really try to figure out each other's needs and determine whether you are equipped to meet his needs and he should be doing the same for you.

 

[loud-ninja]

View attachment 1093873

Betta not

I knew you was gonna be in this thread, lol.

What the bat signal is to batman, the word marriage is to you.

Random person: I think I am gonna ask her to marry me.

Germs:

Dont Do It.

 

[Race Jones]

Did he propose with a ring or via text?

lmao well hes a hood nigga so one day while sitting on the porch he was like “would you consider marrying me?” and i was like idk because tbh i really fucks with myself and i think relationships pull us away from ourselves. like constantly having to talk things out and run things by someone has been very hard for me because i am someone who doesn’t mind being alone, i also dont care enough about anyone to latch myself to them for the rest of my life so i was like idk that was a month or so ago but here lately hes been asking almost every day if i would marry him or allow him to love and cherish me forever and i had to get real honest with myself because although im pretty self centered hes the only man I ever centered in my life. Like i cater to him. I didnt think it was in me to really show up for someone but theres really nothing i wouldnt do for him ya know? then i realized i didnt care about his $$$ or how he dressed or any superficial shit, i actually care for him as a person and i love him in ways unimaginable for myself.

so i say all that to say him asking me hasnt been traditional its been more of a conversation. we live together and he said he wants God to honor our union as we been fucking like rabbits since we been together . he keeps saying he wants to do things the right way and doesnt want to continue living in “sin”

he has a ring but he said he didnt/hasnt proposed because he felt i would say no and tbh if we didnt talk it out beforehand i probably wouldve said no because again, i never saw myself married. hell 6 months for me in a relationship is no easy feat as i always left first in my past relationships


but with him its easy, loving him is easy, our home life for the most part is pretty chill. hes my best friend and cant imagine being with anyone else at this time.

he means everything to me.

 

[Race Jones]

Part of marriage is shared finances.
Some of the best advice I got early on is keep yourself your own personal checking account in addition to the one you share for bills and shit. That way you have your own play money set aside for your own whims without being a drain on the house money.

I still think you need to be battle tested before getting married tho. If those battles yall went through together served to make yall stronger and strengthen your bond then yall may have something. Don't think the worst is over tho, life always has some shit up its sleeve so buckle up, communicate, and really try to figure out each other's needs and determine whether you are equipped to meet his needs and he should be doing the same for you.

Thank you for this advice
I really appreciate it

 

[Race Jones]

I mean


if you gotta ask us


View attachment 1093794

only because i have no healthy portrayals of marriage. my parents were married but didn't live in the same house and my mother never divorced my dad because like she says to this day “i need his insurance money, dying is the least he can do for me after putting me thru hell”

none of my friends are married
none of my mentors are married

so i literally have nothing to go off

 

[Sony Montana]

lmao well hes a hood nigga so one day while sitting on the porch he was like “would you consider marrying me?” and i was like idk because tbh i really fucks with myself and i think relationships pull us away from ourselves. like constantly having to talk things out and run things by someone has been very hard for me because i am someone who doesn’t mind being alone, i also dont care enough about anyone to latch myself to them for the rest of my life so i was like idk that was a month or so ago but here lately hes been asking almost every day if i would marry him or allow him to love and cherish me forever and i had to get real honest with myself because although im pretty self centered hes the only man I ever centered in my life. Like i cater to him. I didnt think it was in me to really show up for someone but theres really nothing i wouldnt do for him ya know? then i realized i didnt care about his $$$ or how he dressed or any superficial shit, i actually care for him as a person and i love him in ways unimaginable for myself.

so i say all that to say him asking me hasnt been traditional its been more of a conversation. we live together and he said he wants God to honor our union as we been fucking like rabbits since we been together . he keeps saying he wants to do things the right way and doesnt want to continue living in “sin”

he has a ring but he said he didnt/hasnt proposed because he felt i would say no and tbh if we didnt talk it out beforehand i probably wouldve said no because again, i never saw myself married. hell 6 months for me in a relationship is no easy feat as i always left first in my past relationships


but with him its easy, loving him is easy, our home life for the most part is pretty chill. hes my best friend and cant imagine being with anyone else at this time.

he means everything to me.

This is wild in 6 months but go for it

For the experience

 

[loud-ninja]

Sounds like he is some what religious. I know you said you were not. Does he expect you to convert in the future? Or is he ok with your beliefs? Did yall have that talk?

 

[Race Jones]

Sounds like he is some what religious. I know you said you were not. Does he expect you to convert in the future? Or is he ok with your beliefs? Did yall have that talk?

Yeah we arent religious really. We just read the scriptures (the bible) and try to live according to the word. I mean granted we make a lot of mistakes as we both are coming from very wild past

me: i was a straight up city girl. a lover but a city girl and did whatever i wanted with whoever i wanted so basically a drunken whore (im not ashamed)

and he: was a hood nigga in and out of jail, fucking mad women, and selling drugs etc

we both chilled out alot and spend every day all day together. i work from home, and he makes and sells cannabis. edibles and flowers and we just started growing cannabis plants. we literally never leave each others side and surprisingly we havent gotten bored or sick of each other yet.

like we can sit in the bed all day long and talk and laugh and whatever else.

thats my guy

 

[Chicity]

lmao well hes a hood nigga so one day while sitting on the porch he was like “would you consider marrying me?” and i was like idk because tbh i really fucks with myself and i think relationships pull us away from ourselves. like constantly having to talk things out and run things by someone has been very hard for me because i am someone who doesn’t mind being alone, i also dont care enough about anyone to latch myself to them for the rest of my life so i was like idk that was a month or so ago but here lately hes been asking almost every day if i would marry him or allow him to love and cherish me forever and i had to get real honest with myself because although im pretty self centered hes the only man I ever centered in my life. Like i cater to him. I didnt think it was in me to really show up for someone but theres really nothing i wouldnt do for him ya know? then i realized i didnt care about his $$$ or how he dressed or any superficial shit, i actually care for him as a person and i love him in ways unimaginable for myself.

so i say all that to say him asking me hasnt been traditional its been more of a conversation. we live together and he said he wants God to honor our union as we been fucking like rabbits since we been together . he keeps saying he wants to do things the right way and doesnt want to continue living in “sin”

he has a ring but he said he didnt/hasnt proposed because he felt i would say no and tbh if we didnt talk it out beforehand i probably wouldve said no because again, i never saw myself married. hell 6 months for me in a relationship is no easy feat as i always left first in my past relationships


but with him its easy, loving him is easy, our home life for the most part is pretty chill. hes my best friend and cant imagine being with anyone else at this time.

he means everything to me.

This is beautiful. I can't wait for part 4 of Queen Race: A North Philly Story