PISTANTHROPHOBIA...

[Duwop]

i'm fearless bruh......


if imma go in, imma go allll the way in....

 

[Race Jones]

I've been burnt, not by cheating but in other ways, I just brush it off and keep it moving.


For the past year or so I've been thinking relationships aren't for me and not because I don't trust women or because of my bad past experiences, it's mainly because I wasn't sure if relationships were for me period, felt better just having fwb's with no strings attached and no drama.

I feel this.

I mean, I think relationships are for me but at the same time I like my freedom.

The demands of a relationship is what I constantly wrestle with. Ppl want you to be attentive and present the majority of the time and from past experiences, I can be distant. I spend a lot of time in my head and I'm always trying to better myself and make sure I feel good....constantly

idk maybe I'm self centered or something but my partner sometimes feels shut out. the demands of a relationship is what I wrestle with.

 

[Goldie]

gauging who is worthy of trust is a skill n easier said than done, cuz ppl r not always what they seem. marriages wldn't dissolve after 20 years if so.

u did get a good one tho. its impressive that getting burned many times didn't change ur capacity to trust. for most, that takes a lot of conscious undoing.

do u plan on maintaining that POV?

We shall see lol

 

[Race Jones]

I went to theraphy after a bad breakup and I'm glad I did. I'm a very mature woman that knows how to heal herself but sometimes shit gets real and you need someone to talk to.


However, I don't understand ppl that walk around with a concert line of emotional insecurities. there are so many avenues you can take to better yourself and your outlook. I'm not talking about depression or anxiety (those are uncontrollable forces) nah, I'm talking about men and women that have trust issues and hold on to shit that happened to them back in '88. I've been with men who used the fact they were hurt in the past as an excuse to treat me like shit. That's unfair and just wack. At some point you have to take control of your life and emotions. Like I said in a previous post: it's not your partners job to fix you. Fix yourself, do your inner work before hopping into relationships.

Plain and simple

 

[Race Jones]

And if you're 30+ talking about you got trust issues I'm going to side eye the hell out of you.

I just look at that as an excuse to be emotionally immature and a potiential headache in my life.

breakups are rough, I get it, but if you aren't actively searching for peace....get away from me.

 

[Judge Dread]

I have a cousin who is in his 50's and has never had a serious relationship. His personality just doesn't work with anything long term or committed. He also has no patience for relationships. He has never lived with a woman. He has women that he has messed with some of them 20 plus years as his daughter is about 24. They all accept him for whatever he his but say they would never want to be with him daily. He is funny but traditional Rasta with views that would drive most women crazy.

 

[Race Jones]

I have a cousin who is in his 50's and has never had a serious relationship. His personality just doesn't work with anything long term or committed. He also has no patience for relationships. He has never lived with a woman. He has women that he has messed with some of them 20 plus years as his daughter is about 24. They all accept him for whatever he his but say they would never want to be with him daily. He is funny but traditional Rasta with views that would drive most women crazy.

What are traditional Rasta views? if you dont mind me asking

 

[Judge Dread]

What are traditional Rasta views? if you dont mind me asking

You would need a separate thread for that. There are different sects so to speak. 12 tribes, nyabinghi, bobo shanti to name a few. Bobo Shanti are the most ardent followers of strict Rastafari.

 

[Judge Dread]

I belong to the 12 tribes. I am from the house of Judah.

 

[IP360]

I feel this.

I mean, I think relationships are for me but at the same time I like my freedom.

The demands of a relationship is what I constantly wrestle with. Ppl want you to be attentive and present the majority of the time and from past experiences, I can be distant. I spend a lot of time in my head and I'm always trying to better myself and make sure I feel good....constantly

idk maybe I'm self centered or something but my partner sometimes feels shut out. the demands of a relationship is what I wrestle with.

I swear this was me. I'm one of those brothas where I don't need 24/7 interaction wit the person I'm wit. Or all that open wit my emotions. B/c of that, I was told I don't care, or I'm cold. Not true. It's just that when I was open, either I got ignored, or was told I was wrong. So I end up keeping a lot of things to myself.

 

[Race Jones]

I swear this was me. I'm one of those brothas where I don't need 24/7 interaction wit the person I'm wit. Or all that open wit my emotions. B/c of that, I was told I don't care, or I'm cold. Not true. It's just that when I was open, either I got ignored, or was told I was wrong. So I end up keeping a lot of things to myself.

!!!!! all of this !!!!!! and it always drove my partners crazy.
I dont nag, I dont be all on your TIP 24/7
I enjoy my space and will allow you to have and enjoy yours.

 

[Judge Dread]

!!!!! all of this !!!!!! and it always drove my partners crazy.
I dont nag, I dont be all on your TIP 24/7
I enjoy my space and will allow you to have and enjoy yours.

I think personal space is the hardest thing to achieve when you are living with someone and even harder when you have a child. I always tell my wife that I am going to double back when everyone leaves the house just so I can be alone. It never happens. The only time I am alone is when I am traveling but that is at a hotel.

 

[JUDAH]

I belong to the 12 tribes. I am from the house of Judah.

 

[Judge Dread]

Respect.

 

[IP360]

!!!!! all of this !!!!!! and it always drove my partners crazy.
I dont nag, I dont be all on your TIP 24/7
I enjoy my space and will allow you to have and enjoy yours.

Lawd...do you know how many arguments I had b/c of this??

For some, they believes being in a relationship requires being around each other EVERY...SINGLE...DAY. Tell them you just want some time to yourself, you either get questioned, or called selfish. Hell I've been accused of "creepin", just b/c I wanted a day to myself. Lol.

 

[Golden]

We shall see lol

told u, u aint shit

 

[Eartha Clit]

I've become heartless. My breakups weren't just horrible but hell I gave shit my all and still ended up alone. I'm happy though. I don't have trust issues or anything but I'm in a good place in my life. I don't know if bringing a man into this will ruin it or make it better. I'm not hesitant to find out either but I'm happy and I'm no longer allowing NAN MF to take my happiness from me.

 

[SeaSnake]

This is different for me while I haven't been done wrong by many people i dont get too close in the first place. Ive seen folks do others wrong but i be wondering why and how did trust somebody with so much and not have an idea that the party is shady.
Then i realized everybody is not as closed off as i am some people are just cool with anybody quickly. It takes me years to feel comfortable enough to just let folks know everything about me.
Fortunately i havent had to cut nobody off in my entire life. Thats rare but i choose friends and partners wisely.

 

[SeaSnake]

And as far as i know i dont carry baggage over i try and learn from experience how to carry stuff. But i dont use bad stuff from a previous situation and bring into a new one.

 

[IP360]

Bump