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Deadspin's Annual NFL "Why your team sucks" series

AP2.5

AP2.5

I was really really tryna keep it PG
Site Administrator
https://deadspin.com/tag/why-your-team-sucks-2018

before i made the conversion from a fan to an observer, these types of articles would make me mad lol

i look at them now and laugh my ass off b/c they show you why you are dumb for trying to be ride or die for these teams instead of just viewing it as a medium for entertainment

First up

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-tampa-bay-buccaneers-1828155391

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Your 2017 record: 5-11. FUN FACT: The Bucs have been outscored every season since 2010. And yet, I was definitely one of those people who, prior to last season, figured the Bucs were poised to explode. They brought in DeSean Jackson. They drafted O.J. Howard. I assumed they were gonna rocket straight to the top of the NFC. I was ready to welcome our new Florida trash overlords. I cannot begin to tell you how delighted I am that this did NOT end up being the case. Instead, everyone on defense contracted measles and the Bucs fell off the face of the fucking Earth, which is where they belong forever and ever and ever.
 
Miami Dolphins

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https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-miami-dolphins-1828247902

Your coach: This guy…

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No wait. Not that guy. I can’t believe they made the cocaine coach resign. I thought I knew you, Miami. You should have promoted Chris Foerster. You should have given him a Cigarette boat and a 10,000 square-foot house with a Jacuzzi shaped like a stiletto heel and let him be COCAINE KING OF FOOTBALL. Instead, your head coach is the man who designed this play…

 

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this shit here tho LMAO

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Your quarterback: The Skins didn’t want to pay Kirk Cousins $84 million guaranteed, so here’s what they did instead: they traded a third-round pick and promising cornerback Kendall Fuller to Kansas City in exchange for a quarterback who is five years older than Cousins, averages nearly 60 fewer yards per game, and averages nearly a full yard less per attempt. Then they gave THAT guy $71 million guaranteed.

There are people here who think that was smart. I’m not even kidding. You should hear Skins fans here talking themselves into Alex Smith. Alex Smith is a very nice fellow who needs to be surrounded by Pro Bowlers and coached by a play-calling savant in order to average more than 150 yards a game. The Chiefs got a career year out of him last season and still couldn’t be bothered to keep him around. He’s authored not one, but two of the worst postseason collapses in HISTORY.
 
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https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-new-york-giants-1827992694

Their offense became a sinkhole. Their star wideout got hurt and the team made virtually no effort to shield him from his critics. Their best defensive player openly called Eli Apple a cancer. They lost to Detroit after getting flagged for a delay of game on 4th and goal from the 2 line. The coach threw Eli Manning under the bus after that loss and then benched him later in the season without warning (more on that in a moment), and for Geno Smith of all people. They suspended Apple for the final game, causing him to react thusly:
 
AP21 said:
Miami Dolphins

cv02noefvm68cx4bzhfs.png


https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-miami-dolphins-1828247902

Your coach: This guy…

View attachment 65718
No wait. Not that guy. I can’t believe they made the cocaine coach resign. I thought I knew you, Miami. You should have promoted Chris Foerster. You should have given him a Cigarette boat and a 10,000 square-foot house with a Jacuzzi shaped like a stiletto heel and let him be COCAINE KING OF FOOTBALL. Instead, your head coach is the man who designed this play…

Click to expand...


Not much to disagree with here. Shit sad. Just waiting for the Gase/Tannehill era to be over with. A lot more to get rid of besides them though.
 
AP21 said:
https://deadspin.com/tag/why-your-team-sucks-2018

before i made the conversion from a fan to an observer, these types of articles would make me mad lol

i look at them now and laugh my ass off b/c they show you why you are dumb for trying to be ride or die for these teams instead of just viewing it as a medium for entertainment

First up

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-tampa-bay-buccaneers-1828155391

cjaylsusxj2jd5tet2im.png


Your 2017 record: 5-11. FUN FACT: The Bucs have been outscored every season since 2010. And yet, I was definitely one of those people who, prior to last season, figured the Bucs were poised to explode. They brought in DeSean Jackson. They drafted O.J. Howard. I assumed they were gonna rocket straight to the top of the NFC. I was ready to welcome our new Florida trash overlords. I cannot begin to tell you how delighted I am that this did NOT end up being the case. Instead, everyone on defense contracted measles and the Bucs fell off the face of the fucking Earth, which is where they belong forever and ever and ever.
Click to expand...

This hurts
 
Panthers suck cause for some reason good wide receivers that can both catch and run routes aren't a big thing in Carolina. And it made perfect sense to them to run the entire offense outta shotgun. And pick up a RB in the first round that goes down with an arm tackle from a CB...

download.jpeg fucking hate this team
 
Allergens said:
Panthers suck cause for some reason good wide receivers that can both catch and run routes aren't a big thing in Carolina. And it made perfect sense to them to run the entire offense outta shotgun. And pick up a RB in the first round that goes down with an arm tackle from a CB...

View attachment 65824 fucking hate this team
Click to expand...
We're going to win it all bruh but you're right tho. Also if I see another a running or full back draw on 3rd &7 this year I'm killing everyone.
 
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