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When Your Best Isn't Good Enough...

Alle'Oop said:
For every time I've failed I can look back at it and see why I failed. And it was usually arrogance that made me believe at that time that my effort was the best effort I couldve put forth. I'm usually able to see what I couldve done differently and just apply that to the next thing if I care enough. But most shit gets around 70% of my effort. I try not to be in the position where I gotta give my best. Cause ion want no one expecting that as the standard, nah that's peak performance. You gotta earn that.
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Why don't you want anyone expecting your best as the standard? Why do they have to earn it and more importantly before anyone else earns it don't you owe and expect your best from yourself first?
 
NeighborhoodNomad said:
Why don't you want anyone expecting your best as the standard? Why do they have to earn it and more importantly before anyone else earns it don't you owe and expect your best from yourself first?
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My best is not sustainable, for my own protection, it's best to use it sparingly. They have to earn it because it's worth something. I owe it to myself to know my worth, and use it as my currency.
 
NeighborhoodNomad said:
How do you tend to respond to unsuccessful attempts at any endeavor you've undertaken?

Do you tend to move towards doing something else or do you attempt to do better?
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In my experience if I'm hitting roadblocks somewhere it's from a place of lack somewhere in my approach. For example, I'm writing a paper right now...if it's not coming together the way I want, then it's a lack of discipline (not doing my daily pages), a lack of research (just making up shit as I go cuz idk what I'm talkin about), my outline was trash so I have no direction, or a lack of confidence to finish it....or a combo of everything.

If it's a finite task like writing a paper I have to finish it whether I want to or not. But if it's something I wana try as a hobby and it's just not working...if I actually put real effort into it and was satisfied with it, i have no problem saying the shit just wasnt for me and moving onto something else.
 
Failure is something I'm actually afraid of....

And I have a nonsensical destructive nature to face my fears.... So it's a constant struggle.
 
Alle'Oop said:
My best is not sustainable, for my own protection, it's best to use it sparingly. They have to earn it because it's worth something. I owe it to myself to know my worth, and use it as my currency.
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The last sentence is profound but why do you believe your best isn't sustainable?
 
Duwop said:
Failure is something I'm actually afraid of....

And I have a nonsensical destructive nature to face my fears.... So it's a constant struggle.
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Are you saying fear drives you to take risks or that you actively pursue that which you fear?
 
NeighborhoodNomad said:
The last sentence is profound but why do you believe your best isn't sustainable?
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I've experienced it, there is no other grown adult that I've met in my life, personally..that deserves that from me. Only my children get that effort because things that affected me deeply from childhood that followed me to adult hood. When I spoke to other people involved wit it when it happened , it was a blip on their radar. So I'm mindful about the mental effort I put into speaking with my kids 90 percent of the time.

I will flat out avoid them if I cant operate at least at 80 wit them. Their response and love for me is unconditional. But at the same time, all it takes, is time, attention, and understanding.

Burning at 100 for work and or family and friends well destroy you. And it will only be a blip in their day. I've seen guys put years into work, available it seemed at all times, lost his wife to divorce, his kids didnt fuck wit him. Got snuffed by his wife's boyfriend at their kids bday party. Got hurt at work, reinjured himself again later in the year.

They fired him cause they say they didnt believe the severity of his injury. No job, no wife, no kids...that what his 100 percent got him.
 
NeighborhoodNomad said:
Are you saying fear drives you to take risks or that you actively pursue that which you fear?
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meaning that if something scares me, i'll sometimes do it outta spite to that fear....

including life choices.. i can be extremely impulsive in those regards.....so i have to actively contain myself...
 
I got narcissistic tendencies so in my mind I never fail.

The biggest thing is I literally forget the vast majority of negatives. Like if a mfer asks me if I have any regrets, most of the time I wont remember any. Its not a conscious thing I do, and I been chalking it up to the bit of narcissism in me.

Even with my huge failures where you cant spin it to being anything but a failure I end up accepting them rather quickly and as soon as I succeed in something I spin the failure like that was a step that was needed for me to get this next success and if there were any regrets they go away.

Shits wild but I rather be this then be stuck on my failures cause just speaking objectively ive had some show stoppers.
 
Duwop said:
meaning that if something scares me, i'll sometimes do it outta spite to that fear....

including life choices.. i can be extremely impulsive in those regards.....so i have to actively contain myself...
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Do you tend to keep that same energy on the other end of the spectrum? Like do you pursue the things you enjoy or are hopeful for with that same level of intensity?

Many people run from what they're afraid of but you run towards it which takes heart but do you also run towards what you're hopeful for?
 
NeighborhoodNomad said:
Do you tend to keep that same energy on the other end of the spectrum? Like do you pursue the things you enjoy or are hopeful for with that same level of intensity?

Many people run from what they're afraid of but you run towards it which takes heart but do you also run towards what you're hopeful for?
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Yup, I think that's why I go so hard for the family life. I wanted it, and I went after it with reckless abandon
 
Like others probably done said on here depends on what it is. If its something that's essential I'm just gonna have to fail til I get it period. However if it's evident I just flat out don't have the juice to do what I'm trying after a few attempts I have no problem moving on.
 
Depends on what it is. If I think it's something worth fighting for I pick myself up and work harder. We all fail. Failure is part of life and that's how we learn. If you never failed you have never lived.
 
Fear is a tool or excuse.

I am doing something now...fear kinda makes me hesitant.
Bigger than I think it could get.....

But I am also ready.
I know since its bigger than me....its also because its bigger than me that I should go for it.

My success will help drive others.
My roots will allow the stabilization of the tree that will have branches and fruits that make other trees.

My steps have a huge following that I'm unaware of.

All depends on how you see the world.
We all touch lives we don't even see but may be too selfish to acknowledge. Or the accountability may be scary.
 
DOS_patos said:
Fear is a tool or excuse.

I am doing something now...fear kinda makes me hesitant.
Bigger than I think it could get.....

But I am also ready.
I know since its bigger than me....its also because its bigger than me that I should go for it.

My success will help drive others.
My roots will allow the stabilization of the tree that will have branches and fruits that make other trees.

My steps have a huge following that I'm unaware of.

All depends on how you see the world.
We all touch lives we don't even see but may be too selfish to acknowledge. Or the accountability may be scary.
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I like Cus D'amato's take on the power of fear.

 
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