What is financial stability? and why do you need it from your mate?

[DOS_patos]

shit never made sense to me.

i always hear chicks say "they want a financially stable guy"

but what does that mean?

if i have a job i worked at for 10 years ..am i financially stable?

if i make over 6 figures, am i financially stable?

if i pay all my bills, am i financially stable?

none of it makes sense when you think about it.

i can work a job for 10 yrs but making only $10/hr.

i can make 6 figures and be up to my eye balls in debt.

i can pay all my bills and live in a studio.

and if we on a first date..why are you not enjoying the moment rather than already counting my income? why are you worried about how much a person makes when you first meet them? will that determine how the rest of the date goes or how much you want to invest into the person?


lets get down to why its really important.

if you want to build with a person..does it matter...if yall building? or do you want it already built?

if you paying your own bills...why worry about if someone else has money.

shouldnt financial literacy mean more if you have to speak about money?

but lets talk about why must financially stability means so much.

 

[5th Letter]

It simply means if she ever loses her job can he hold her down monetarily? If she has a rough pregnancy and has to go on early bed rest can be hold her down? That's their logic. Granted, "financial stability" is relative. Because a guy can make 100K a year and to some women he don't make enough.

 

[Golden]

financial stability to me is a man who is either in a similar place to me or better.

It simply means if she ever loses her job can he hold her down monetarily? If she has a rough pregnancy and has to go on early bed rest can be hold her down? That's their logic. Granted, "financial stability" is relative. Because a guy can make 100K a year and to some women he don't make enough.

financial stability and liquid wealth are very very closely linked but not the same. I've known guys with middle to high incomes who blew it because they didn't save for retirement, and guys who didn't make nearly as much but made good investments (ie. property) and/or knew how to budget.

 

[DOS_patos]

It simply means if she ever loses her job can he hold her down monetarily? If she has a rough pregnancy and has to go on early bed rest can be hold her down? That's their logic. Granted, "financial stability" is relative. Because a guy can make 100K a year and to some women he don't make enough.

thats cool and all...but being literate with your income will matter more than if the other person has money.

saving and investing when planning a family actually means something. thinking of how WE can provide in the future. not how YOU can provide for me or us in the future.

@BNE this aint assumptions......just conversation

 

[1/2]

tell em why u mad bro! lol

nah its dumb shit but a lot of them end up being somebody's mama at some point or another...and that shit is fucked up

from then on its usually a big factor to a woman

whether they "need" a man or not most women want a "daddy" so to speak

they dream about going to bed and waking up not worried about shit....nothing....he got it

(we're on finances but that covers a number of things)

can it be done and is it done? yes and in plenty cases

is it realistic for the average man/woman/couple in 2018? I dont think so but ya'll know what the salaries looking like out here better than I do

 

[DOS_patos]

financial stability to me is a man who is either in a similar place to me or better.

financial stability and liquid wealth are very very closely linked but not the same. I've known guys with middle to high incomes who blew it because they didn't save for retirement, and guys who didn't make nearly as much but made good investments (ie. property) and/or knew how to budget.

but why cant he have less but makes smarter moves?

having equal or more is nothing without intelligence behind..kinda like what you just said....he can lose it all then what?

and how or when would you find out if hes smart with his money vs amount of money?

 

[Golden]

but why cant he have less but makes smarter moves?

having equal or more is nothing without intelligence behind..kinda like what you just said....he can lose it all then what?

and how or when would you find out if hes smart with his money vs amount of money?

you're confusing stability with amount. when did I say anything about liking guys who have more liquid cash?

I believe I make smart moves but if he makes smarter moves, that's cool. I can't be with someone I consider financially unstable though, because if we have kids or something which requires some merging of finances, I and my descendants could be at risk.

Building generational wealth is important to me and something I am always working on. It isn't the most important thing, so it's not high on my partner criteria but at least I need to know he won't take me backwards. Wanting what I myself have to offer isn't a lot to ask.

on your last question, when do you find out when someone is trustworthy or has bad habits or has different values to you? Time, observation and communication. as with determining anything else.

 

[DOS_patos]

tell em why u mad bro! lol

nah its dumb shit but a lot of them end up being somebody's mama at some point or another...and that shit is fucked up

from then on its usually a big factor to a woman

whether they "need" a man or not most women want a "daddy" so to speak

they dream about going to bed and waking up not worried about shit....nothing....he got it

(we're on finances but that covers a number of things)

can it be done and is it done? yes and in plenty cases

is it realistic for the average man/woman/couple in 2018? I dont think so but ya'll know what the salaries looking like out here better than I do

nah..i dont know what salaries looking like but still...

who would not want to wake up to have everything taken care of? shit i would......i still got work to do to get there. as with most of us.why should it fall onto the shoulders of only one person tho?

why should only one person have to make it, plan it, invest it , rinse and repeat...while the other gets to wake up and not worry?

but to tell them why im mad....i got into it with my ladies aunt and her friend yet again for saying dumb shit about dudes.
their expectations are just dumb.

while i understand shes older and doesnt have time to build now...but she has all that would need to be built. now its time to enjoy but she rather look for a rich nigga to take care of her....got me pissed

 

[DOS_patos]

you're confusing stability with amount. when did I say anything about liking guys who have more liquid cash?

I believe I make smart moves but if he makes smarter moves, that's cool. I can't be with someone I consider financially unstable though, because if we have kids or something which requires some merging of finances, I and my descendants could be at risk.

Building generational wealth is important to me and something I am always working on. It isn't the most important thing, so it's not high on my partner criteria but at least I need to know he won't take me backwards. Wanting what I myself have to offer isn't a lot to ask.

on your last question, when do you find out when someone is trustworthy or has bad habits or has different values to you? Time, observation and communication. as with determining anything else.

i like your thinking..

i hope this aint just internet talk.

you and my girl @Reesey killing the game
i like all the ladies on this site......





so far

 

[Golden]

i like your thinking..

i hope this aint just internet talk.

you and my girl @Reesey killing the game
i like all the ladies on this site......





so far

we have some fairly good ladies but a lot of the (yes, this is what they are: ) assumptions you're coming here with just aint gonna apply. check the prince and pauper thread. the narrative you're used to aint what it is.

 

[DOS_patos]

we have some fairly good ladies but a lot of the (yes, this is what they are: ) assumptions you're coming here with just aint gonna apply. check the prince and pauper thread. the narrative you're used to aint what it is.

nah....i dont assume....thats where you losing me.

i make statements that i would like challenged. the direction you go when responding tells me alot about how people think. i am more learning about a person while reading their answer and word selection. the question is always asked in a way the spark conversation and debate but not too often to attack.

so never take it as a definite with me. i am just very inquisitive and ask very indirect questions to get to an answer that the person never knew i asked.

 

[1/2]

nah..i dont know what salaries looking like but still...

who would not want to wake up to have everything taken care of? shit i would......i still got work to do to get there. as with most of us.why should it fall onto the shoulders of only one person tho?

why should only one person have to make it, plan it, invest it , rinse and repeat...while the other gets to wake up and not worry?

but to tell them why im mad....i got into it with my ladies aunt and her friend yet again for saying dumb shit about dudes.
their expectations are just dumb.

while i understand shes older and doesnt have time to build now...but she has all that would need to be built. now its time to enjoy but she rather look for a rich nigga to take care of her....got me pissed

I cant answer them questions but I hear you

still just depends on the person and their situation to me

she's older and wants to be taken care of for a change, I cant say she's wrong

everybody wants to win at some point

 

[DOS_patos]

I cant answer them questions but I hear you

still just depends on the person and their situation to me

she's older and wants to be taken care of for a change, I cant say she's wrong

everybody wants to win at some point

right....but she shitted on niggas for so long.

the only nigga who didnt get shit on was beating her ass and was in a gang.

she sought out niggas who she had more than to control things...now she wants a dude to spoil her...but she needs to change her mentality.

she recently found a few dudes that had money but she kept treating them like shit.

that has nothing to do with finances.

but even wanting to be spoiled...why do you think you deserve it? just because it time? but she didnt spoil no one but herself. and she will tell anyone she wants to keep her money.

so if she has money and wont spend it on someone...why should someone want to spend theirs on her?

 

[Duwop]

financially stable is just a code word for they don't want a burden..
someone who can do shit in the courting process without money always being an issue....


once you in love with a motherfucker..their struggle is your struggle.... it's cool..

but when u first meet a person niggaz ain't tryna budget every fuckig thing.....and while it may not always be explained that clear, people mostly want the same thing...

someone who has enough control over their money situation that it's not a burden to them meeting and hanging out

 

[DOS_patos]

financially stable is just a code word for they don't want a burden..
someone who can do shit in the courting process without money always being an issue....


once you in love with a motherfucker..their struggle is your struggle.... it's cool..

but when u first meet a person niggaz ain't tryna budget every fuckig thing.....and while it may not always be explained that clear, people mostly want the same thing...

someone who has enough control over their money situation that it's not a burden to them meeting and hanging out

but how many times is this a both ways type thing?

its usually the dude trying to budget to take a chick out and if a chick doesnt have the money she aint budgeting for a nigga she dont know.
but if a dude is budgeting to take her out and is honest with it....he might be looked at as cheap and not financially literate. but budgeting doesnt mean broke. thats means setting a limit.

how many chicks will be ok with limits during courting?

 

[MzKB]

Financial stability to me is your debt to income ratio. So by that definition I want low to zero debt and an income that can accommodate our needs plus our desires. Me and mine got that. We got it to a point that both of us don't have to work for year and still be good. We've done it many times and we continue to build.

 

[IP360]

I get it to a certain extent.

My issue tho is the ones who say they want a man that's financially stable...are ones who aren't stable themselves. So in essence, they're actually lookin for a guy to financially support them. Clear their whateva debts they may have.

Other than that...no one really wants someone who's gonna be a financial burden. Yeah you may love them...but shyt is gonna be a strain on the relationship.