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COMMUNITY What are you rules for Dating/Relationships/ Courting

i be peeping how these white dudes be treating their women.

I dont think i've seen one open the car door for his lady.

they walk straight to the driver side and let em in that way

at first i used to think it was strange, but maybe they've had it right all along
 
AP21 said:
i be peeping how these white dudes be treating their women.

I dont think i've seen one open the car door for his lady.

they walk straight to the driver side and let em in that way

at first i used to think it was strange, but maybe they've had it right all along
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if it ain't white it ain't right
 
There are things I never cared about like education and where a person comes from but I once dated a very nice woman and everything was good until she was crying about taking her CPA. Now I fully understood the importance of it but at the same time it didn’t seem like life or death to me. She was not eating and losing sleep. It made me think how would she deal with what I believe were real problems. She came from a rich family and her brother was cool but I saw some things in his personality that bothered me also. Nowwas I right for ending the relationship who knows. But I knew she wouldn’t be able to deal with me and my situations.
 
AP21 said:
i be peeping how these white dudes be treating their women.

I dont think i've seen one open the car door for his lady.

they walk straight to the driver side and let em in that way

at first i used to think it was strange, but maybe they've had it right all along
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Really? I see it as they don’t put value on their women and their women put up with it. But then again I am the kind of person that you don’t want to date any woman that I have dealt with. Because she will be used to certain things that may make life uncomfortable for the person. Now if she doesn’t require her those things after being involved with me no problem. But if she does and is used to them hopefully she has seen her true worth and makes it hard for anyone to ever treat her any less than I would. I am not even talking about anything monetary. Because there will always be someone with more money.
 
When I was younger, my father used to take me on 'mock dates' just to show me how a man should treat me when we go out. While I appreciated his efforts, it made my expectations almost unrealistically high when dealing with my generation of men.

He taught me that men should open all doors for me, if we're walking, the man is supposed to walk on the side of traffic for my safety. If a man asks me out, he's supposed to pay but always offer to go half and never go on a date with no money or alternate way home. Things like that.

So a chivalrous man will always get the nod over someone that wasn't taught how to treat a woman properly.

I can find something attractive in every black person, so looks aren't that important to me. Being clean and odorless is.

Other than that, I tend to get along with men that are multifaceted because I am.

While dating I always observe how a man treats his family, how he's regarded by his friends, and how he carries himself in public. Being off on any of those things is a red flag in my head.
 
There is a big difference between being a gentlemen and being soft. I have dated women who every now and then liked to poke the lion just to hear him roar when they felt he was resting. That is cute. Sometimes
 
AP21 said:
you married and still washed...not sure how you being married changes this
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Not sure what that term means but are all married men washed in general because @King Du has used it also. As the other married man in this group I am not sure that I want to be washed or not.
 
1.Be on time, save that fashionable late shit for when I actual give a fuck about ur personality

2.First date, accept where we are going. I put thought into it based on ur personality. I might be wrong so suck it up butter cup.

3.Stay off ur fucking phone and don't take pictures of nothing. It's a date, not a site survey.

4.Thats crazy, and Wow ain't conversation bridges.

5. Bitch talk, nobody want the security codes to ur Wells Fargo account. I asked u out to get to know u. Be you or be gone, don't waste my time wit a fragile flower routine.

6.Give a fuck who u know and how u know. U see anotha nigga u know. Don't stop and hold a convo wit that nigga. If you wasn't feeling me u would give me one word answers, but all of a sudden u Wendy Williams wit anotha nigga.

7.Dont think cause I'm being nice that I'm a sucka. You will be checked

8.I dont wanna know ur family..that means yo kids, ur brotha, ur mama, ur daddy, ur cousin that's like a brotha...I just met u, save that for when I know you

9.Dont get sexual wit me if you ain't ready for what's gone happen.

10.Im not hitting u up for at least a day or two after. Marinate on that
 
washed mean u done....
you ain't fresh no more....
finish line bruh..
like washed down crack.....that shit ain't even getting nobody high...
 
Germs said:
1.Be on time, save that fashionable late shit for when I actual give a fuck about ur personality

2.First date, accept where we are going. I put thought into it based on ur personality. I might be wrong so suck it up butter cup.

3.Stay off ur fucking phone and don't take pictures of nothing. It's a date, not a site survey.

4.Thats crazy, and Wow ain't conversation bridges.

5. Bitch talk, nobody want the security codes to ur Wells Fargo account. I asked u out to get to know u. Be you or be gone, don't waste my time wit a fragile flower routine.

6.Give a fuck who u know and how u know. U see anotha nigga u know. Don't stop and hold a convo wit that nigga. If you wasn't feeling me u would give me one word answers, but all of a sudden u Wendy Williams wit anotha nigga.

7.Dont think cause I'm being nice that I'm a sucka. You will be checked

8.I dont wanna know ur family..that means yo kids, ur brotha, ur mama, ur daddy, ur cousin that's like a brotha...I just met u, save that for when I know you

9.Dont get sexual wit me if you ain't ready for what's gone happen.

10.Im not hitting u up for at least a day or two after. Marinate on that
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:lolfoh:
 
Judge Dread said:
Really? I see it as they don’t put value on their women and their women put up with it. But then again I am the kind of person that you don’t want to date any woman that I have dealt with. Because she will be used to certain things that may make life uncomfortable for the person. Now if she doesn’t require her those things after being involved with me no problem. But if she does and is used to them hopefully she has seen her true worth and makes it hard for anyone to ever treat her any less than I would. I am not even talking about anything monetary. Because there will always be someone with more money.
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That's a very interesting experience.

I personally think if she was still fairly young there would be room for growth and as long as she has it within her she would be able to grow out of it once she is faced with real problems. But I also see where you are coming from. Not all of us are willing to risk an important unknown.
 
Judge Dread said:
@Reesey whenever you return from sabbatical
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Goldie said:
The only rule is there are no rules
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This ^^

Honestly, I LOVE when a man does what comes naturally to him Sans bending me over in public and taking my cookies on the spot. lol

When a man tries to fit the criteria of the chick he is trying to holla at, it is extremely insincere and a turn off.

I don't want you to give me what you "THINK" I want, I want the REAL you. regardless of what the outcome will be after you have displayed it.

Now, the issue comes into play when a person can't accept rejection. Those people will go through h3ll and high water to project they have the qualities you desire just so they won't have to feel the pain of being rejected.

Conformist get no love.

Having "no rules", allows for the natural flow of things to happen. No restrictions, religious criteria, inhibitions or egg shell walking necessary.
Yes, I said religious because religion is learned, it is not innate (natural, born with).

I like listening to my butterflies and/or my erratic breathing when in the presence of that grade of "Man".
I don't want someone religious belief, fears of rejection or insecurities to make me feel a certain type of way for or ruin something so beautiful, so natural, so normal.

I'm not speaking manners or vulgarity ya'll... strictly being approached or dating someone.

Brutal Honesty and Be true to Yourself and you and I will probably stay cracking for the long haul.
 
Reesey said:
When a man tries to fit the criteria of the chick he is trying to holla at, it is extremely insincere and a turn off.

I don't want you to give me what you "THINK" I want, I want the REAL you. regardless of what the outcome will be after you have displayed it.
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i remember i argued this exact point one day when i was working at tsa.

tsa was full of young single folk, and all we did was battle of the sexes type arguments every day....kinda like these forums...

so any way..one day they was all getting on me, cuz i was currently talking to no body, hadn't talked to nobody, and every time someone went out with me, they always had some funny ass story as to why the shit ain't work out...
like i was the king of failed date and interesting hanging outs....

so everybody was convinced something was wrong with me....like i was geeking.....i didn't try hard enough to impress, i was too relaxed.....i was cheap...

i was like naw....i just like to be cool......i don't want you looking at this shit like its some super special date... i want you to hang out with somebody u like to hang out with and get to know them....talk.....i ain't no fancy ass nigga, i ain't no super material ass nigga, i ain't gonna start no trends or front on no illusions of shit i know i can't keep up....

i'm the type of dude that goes to the sports pub, get some wings..or a burger spot.....get a six pack, go somewhere by the water drink and talk..maybe play pool....that's me, i hang out......we can even kick it at the crib and play cards, video games, or watch movies....i can cook my ass off.....that's how i always presented myself....i drink and have fun......i never wanted nobody pressed to have their hair done, or their best clothes on....just come liek u is, cuz we just chilling.....

most chicks thought they was friendzoning me based off that, but i shot my shot on who i wanted, and didn't on who i didn't want...it was jsut normally pretty uneventful as most of my shots were half assed to begin with....i just have a flirty personality....

but yea thy were all convinced you had to be extra in order to get somebody, that you had to go out and try to impress a girl, show her nice things....

i was like naw... they said i would be single forever....lol.....shit was funny
 
I’m at work right now. So I can’t go full on into details but I can say one thing is communicating. If we can’t communicate, what the fuck are we doing?

If you can go a day without hitting me up and you my dude.....

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Whiskas said:
That's a very interesting experience.

I personally think if she was still fairly young there would be room for growth and as long as she has it within her she would be able to grow out of it once she is faced with real problems. But I also see where you are coming from. Not all of us are willing to risk an important unknown.
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One of the reasons why I waited so long to date my wife was also based on this. She comes from an upper middle class family ( most of them are rich) and I watched how she handled herself for a while. She admits that if she didn’t leave Trinidad and come up here on her own and have to survive she would have not known what real struggle was. She says she those years in college and working and not being able to run home for everything changed her. Now she is far from understanding certain thinks that some of us go through but she knows struggle.
 
Goldie said:
I was more so saying what works for me won't work for you, so there's really no one set of rules.


Even if I was only talking about me, rules are meant to be broken. There's been things I said I wouldn't deal with and ended up pushing my "rule" to the side for a shorty I felt was beyond setting rules for.

Too many people let there rules and "standards" hinder their chances of truly finding someone to make em happy.
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I have standards which I won't compromise because you need a baseline of what you will and will not tolerate, but I agree on rules in terms of courtship and procedure type shit. If I was too strict on contact and response times, might miss out on some otherwise fantastic men who just happen to have shit to do sometimes.
 
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