what about the other side of depression and tragedy?

[DOS_patos]

we often talk about people who dealt with depression....and we brushed against people dealing with tragedy(we need a thread).
but we never talk about the people who are watching it or dealing with the person going thru it.

im talking losing someone close, or being in a car accident and was near death or having a low point in life or slowing dying.

Not clinically depressed but life situation depressed.

how do you support?

how do you feel about it?

how long can you support?

not speaking about a chick you smashing or some dude you recently met.
i mean your wife, long time girlfriend, close friend you grew up with type person.

 

[Herbal Kint]

we often talk about people who dealt with depression....and we brushed against people dealing with tragedy(we need a thread).
but we never talk about the people who are watching it or dealing with the person going thru it.

how do you support?

how do you feel about it?

how long can you support?

I can support someone going through depression and especially tragedy.

However, I can't do it indefinitely. Recovery takes its own time and while at first they might not be able to recover, if they take any steps down the line to get better I have their back

But just living like that? As a lifestyle? I can't support it

 

[AZTG]

Dealing with tragedy and momentary depression I can do.

However, I dont know if I can deal with someone dealing with clinical depression. It's not their fault, they arent weak for being born with mental health issues, but idk if I can be there to go through it with a person, specifically a girl im in a relationship with.

 

[DOS_patos]

quick story.
a guy basically lost everything because of a lie that he had to fight in court.
no one believed him, he lost friends, lost his wife and lost his career.
the few friends that stood by him knew all he went thru. shit was sad to see.

once it came out that the person who lied ...lied, most people didnt apologize for how they reacted and some still dont believe him. the ole where its smoke theres fire thoughts.

recently my wife and i was speaking with his ex wife....and she was on some....he wasnt the person she married. he changed. he wasnt a nice person. and we are having a hell of a time explaining to her that , you cant blame someone for how they react when dealing with losing everything.
dude didnt seem mean to me, but he was stressed out and crying all the time. but i understood since i was there.

but she didnt try to understand what he was going thru because she felt she was dealing with it too.
we tell her ...she dealing with second hand stuff...hes dealing with it first hand and telling her what happened.
but she still feels she cant forgive him because of how he changed. not that he cares if she forgives him since he feels abandoned when he really needed her.

she never said he hit her and we heard her when she said foul shit to him and he responded. but she couldnt deal with how he responded and what he would say. i always thought, why fuck with him like that when you know what hes going thru.

this is a case where they was both dealing with different things but at the same time.
he was dealing with depression and she was dealing with depression.
he was losing everything and leaned on her for support but it seems like she was dealing with watching him go thru this and some selfishness. or maybe she didnt know how to deal with things herself.

we never talk about the person who has to be the support for the person dealing with depression.

 

[1/2]

good thread bruh

that shit is heavy.....it can have a huge effect on the people around you

to me it just depends on the person and our relationship if its worth going through with them

i'll be positive, i know how to let shit roll off me, and i know when its just your mood or feelings thats got you acting a certain way

my biggest thing is Im not gone be sad with you....cant do it...and some people dont get that and it doesnt work

on the other side I can be down on myself and negative at times and the people around me know its just me....i know its tiring so I rarely bitch to anybody but im human....sometimes that open ear helps just to get it out and keep pushing, even if I know im getting on their nerves

we gotta be close for this shit tho....i got coworkers that try to come pour sad personal shit on me and I will stop you mid sentence like im really sorry about that but im busy rn

 

[DOS_patos]

I can support someone going through depression and especially tragedy.

However, I can't do it indefinitely. Recovery takes its own time and while at first they might not be able to recover, if they take any steps down the line to get better I have their back

But just living like that? As a lifestyle? I can't support it

but how can you determine how someone handles something? and how long?

while it may not be a lifestyle......it may take sometime. and whos to give limits on healing?

 

[1/2]

Dealing with tragedy and momentary depression I can do.

However, I dont know if I can deal with someone dealing with clinical depression. It's not their fault, they arent weak for being born with mental health issues, but idk if I can be there to go through it with a person, specifically a girl im in a relationship with.

my wife was on several meds for depression, anxiety, and sleep when we started talking

it was tough, and still is sometimes.....but she's been off all that shit for about 4 years now

she never needed it imo, just didnt have anybody

 

[B_A]

 

[DOS_patos]

Dealing with tragedy and momentary depression I can do.

However, I dont know if I can deal with someone dealing with clinical depression. It's not their fault, they arent weak for being born with mental health issues, but idk if I can be there to go through it with a person, specifically a girl im in a relationship with.

ok....ill edit the OP.
clinical is something different.

im talking losing someone close, or being in a car accident and was near death or having a low point in life

 

[Loquacious]

I ain’t doing it again. That energy passes unto you and have you feeling just as down as them.

 

[Herbal Kint]

but how can you determine how someone handles something? and how long?

while it may not be a lifestyle......it may take sometime. and whos to give limits on healing?

I can't tell someone else how to handle something, but I have my own boundaries

Those boundaries are flexible depending on the situation. But once the boundaries are crossed, we have to have a conversation about where to go from there

 

[AZTG]

my wife was on several meds for depression, anxiety, and sleep when we started talking

it was tough, and still is sometimes.....but she's been off all that shit for about 4 years now

she never needed it imo, just didnt have anybody

aye man, nothing but respect to you.

Right now im single and you know when you single you have a list of things you wont deal with until you catch feelings for a chick and see yourself happily dealing with half the shit that was on your list. So who knows how shit will really go down when i decide its time to settle with a chick.

 

[AZTG]

ok....ill edit the OP.
clinical is something different.

im talking losing someone close, or being in a car accident and was near death or having a low point in life

In that case, im sticking by the person and depending how close we are im actively involved with helping them wether its support or just listening to them talk.

 

[Herbal Kint]

aye man, nothing but respect to you.

Right now im single and you know when you single you have a list of things you wont deal with until you catch feelings for a chick and see yourself happily dealing with half the shit that was on your list. So who knows how shit will really go down when i decide its time to settle with a chick.

Lmao you might wanna get a head start on that akhi

Don't wanna mess around and be the guy who seemed normal but unleashed the crazy as soon as you got comfortable

 

[DOS_patos]

heres a recent example......stolen from another place.

 

[1/2]

a lot of people dont make it thru that but its part of what you sign up for

everybody's gonna get sick, everybody's gonna get old, everyone will eventually need some type of care...whether its this extreme or just going thru a hard time

some get put in homes because of medical reasons that cant be tended to at home, but others end up there because nobody wanted to deal with them in that time

NeNe has every right to vent.....i personally wouldnt be happy with it being on social media but whatever....Im just not sure what she wants out of that....even the forgotten lady....forgotten by who?....the person you cared for/are caring for knows that....doesnt make them feel better or wanna be bubbly just because....im sure she's got a life outside of that at this point, but I do realize its probably more women then men that stick around for this...cant really make anybody wrong.....stay down if you want, leave em high and dry if you want......you just gotta live with either decision

im absolutely taking care of mine to the best of my ability.....her grandmother started getting crazy and had to go into a home, and her mom seems to be turning into the same exact person....im basically watching what i have in store for later

 

[Chicity]

It's super tough

Hard for all parties involved

Do what you can but don't drown with them

 

[DOS_patos]

a lot of people dont make it thru that but its part of what you sign up for

everybody's gonna get sick, everybody's gonna get old, everyone will eventually need some type of care...whether its this extreme or just going thru a hard time

some get put in homes because of medical reasons that cant be tended to at home, but others end up there because nobody wanted to deal with them in that time

NeNe has every right to vent.....i personally wouldnt be happy with it being on social media but whatever....Im just not sure what she wants out of that....even the forgotten lady....forgotten by who?....the person you cared for/are caring for knows that....doesnt make them feel better or wanna be bubbly just because....im sure she's got a life outside of that at this point, but I do realize its probably more women then men that stick around for this...cant really make anybody wrong.....stay down if you want, leave em high and dry if you want......you just gotta live with either decision

im absolutely taking care of mine to the best of my ability.....her grandmother started getting crazy and had to go into a home, and her mom seems to be turning into the same exact person....im basically watching what i have in store for later

im not going to lie...i used to watch the show and binged in season 7 i think a few weeks ago...i dropped a few points of IQ so i stopped.

but dude been with her when they aint have shit....he saved her from stripping and he had the loot in the beginning. then when she caked....she showed her coochie around town. then got back with him and now this?

i would have to smother her in the tub with a wet pillow.
these hoes aint loyal

 

[T. Sanford]

I try not have them think about the tragedy or have them remind something of it. Example, if they lost a close friend then I won't make any mention of them. Especially if its still fresh on the mind. From my perspective, I wouldn't want to put them in a depressing state again. I'll try to keep them on the positive side of the spectrum. Keep them active and in a positive mindset to help heal.

 

[DOS_patos]

It's super tough

Hard for all parties involved

Do what you can but don't drown with them

what does that mean then?

what are marriage vows for?
smdh
so as long as money flowing and everything is good....you can do that forever?
but if shit gets tough, you have a short shelf life?

thats crazy