Just as it's important to call out men who victim blame female abuse victims, it's also important to call out women who do the same to men. I told a woman about women who abused me and she asked "what did you do wrong for them to be hurting you?" I got really upset and called her out. I said "how would you feel if I asked you the same question about your cheating ex?" There's this toxic belief women can't abuse men which is false.
Bobjones
Active Member
This could very well stem from a form of what some ppl might call toxic masculinity. That, and an uneasy marriage of gender roles.
When males are taught or expected to be tough, to not let their emotions show, to just suck it up and move on etc. Some women buy into this and hold men up to the standard of wearing a proverbial plate of armour over their emotions. It's the old classic "be a man" motto. I guess the general, stereotypical thought is that women are supposed to be the sensitive, vulnerable, subordinate ones. This sorta compels the idea that they shouldn't be capable of truly harming a man. Meaning that when a man does finally come out and let their abuse known, it's more likely to be countered with apprehension and doubt. When doubt sets in, that's when ppl start concocting all these false notions in there head to eliminate their confusion. Like that woman who shifted the blame on u.
It's a gender roles thing. These roles sometimes cross over into irrational double standards.
But tbh I dunno for sure.
When males are taught or expected to be tough, to not let their emotions show, to just suck it up and move on etc. Some women buy into this and hold men up to the standard of wearing a proverbial plate of armour over their emotions. It's the old classic "be a man" motto. I guess the general, stereotypical thought is that women are supposed to be the sensitive, vulnerable, subordinate ones. This sorta compels the idea that they shouldn't be capable of truly harming a man. Meaning that when a man does finally come out and let their abuse known, it's more likely to be countered with apprehension and doubt. When doubt sets in, that's when ppl start concocting all these false notions in there head to eliminate their confusion. Like that woman who shifted the blame on u.
It's a gender roles thing. These roles sometimes cross over into irrational double standards.
But tbh I dunno for sure.
I completely agree. I think her response was based on the belief men can't be abused, but they're the abusers. It's also based on the belief women are innocent and need protection from men. I agree men have a major problem with abusing women, but that doesn't mean all men are villains. Her reaction made me really upset because i'm not an abuser at all. I try to fight against it so i'm thinking "how dare you think i'm to blame for this?!?"
Bobjones
Active Member
That's real bold of her to say. Obnoxious even. It's not proper social etiquette. In a situation like that, assuming the person knows no better, the typical response is to show sympathy or give advice or something. Not jump to conclusions.
Who knows, maybe she got some demons of her own.
Who knows, maybe she got some demons of her own.
Rainbowdildobuttmonkey
Active Member
Thats that feminist toxicity for you.smh.
She's got personal issues. I feel like she hates men. She told me all men are the same. She told me she didn't intend to victim blame.
Bobjones
Active Member
If she said all men are the same that tells u all u need to know.
JohnSmithCAN
Active Member
It's digusting.