Too harsh or good father and son moment?

My go to is always you didn't lost that match on the mat, you lost it in practice. So all those tears, all the frustration you feeling... You wanna get it back? You gotta put it in. Cuz you can't pull from a well unless you build it first. All those pushups and kettlebell exercises you keep pushing back on at the house. You gotta get those in... Cuz that's the difference between feeling like you do now, and winning

All losing does is show you how much further you have to go.
 
Literally just watched a Dad cuss his son out at this wrestling tournament we're at

"I don't know why the fuck you crying, you better cut that soft shit out"

Like nigga, a 9 year old just bent the fuck outta your son's spine... show some compassion.
 
AP4.0 said:
Which is super trash
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Also counter productive.

Wrestling is a tough sport... You don't have to spazz on a wrestler.... Cuz all you gonna do is make them not wanna do it any more.

But if you encourage them and make sure they learning from every experience... The toughness going to naturally come, because that simply comes with getting better. Every good wrestler is tough as nails. You don't have to make them meaner, just help them get better.
 
Yeah, son had a rough go at it today. First time wrestling freestyle... Went up against a tough kid at 144 16U

And I was likr, it's mat time, it's experience, the only thing I don't like is you take to long to take a shot. We can't help you fix what you don't show us.

We could spend next week improving your shot... But you didn't take enough shots for us to see what needs to be improved. We knew the kids were going to be tough. And my expectations weren't for you to dominate. I just wanted you to get exposure and something we can build off of.

He was good. But yeah, fuck all that yelling shit
 
The Lonious Monk said:
You think boys and girls should be treated the same?
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I think this is a loaded question that needs a ton of nuance

For the sake of this conversation, I think both could be motivated the same as the gentleman did in the video I posted and get the same or similar results
 
The Lonious Monk said:
You think boys and girls should be treated the same?
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Not so differently that you're in a norm or berating your son's but empowering your daughters.

Both children should be motivated and feel supported. Neither should be torn down for being upset with their performance.

A lotta parents seem to understand this with girls, but feel like they have to be angry at the boys. Which is trash
 
AP4.0 said:
I think this is a loaded question that needs a ton of nuance

For the sake of this conversation, I think both could be motivated the same as the gentleman did in the video I posted and get the same or similar results
Click to expand...
Duwop said:
Not so differently that you're in a norm or berating your son's but empowering your daughters.

Both children should be motivated and feel supported. Neither should be torn down for being upset with their performance.

A lotta parents seem to understand this with girls, but feel like they have to be angry at the boys. Which is trash
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I get where you're coming from, but I don't quite agree. Let's get away from this example because the dude was over-the-top regardless of the gender of the child.

I think there is a difference between how boys and girls process things, and I don't think motivation will always be the same. Right or wrong, the world expects boys to be tougher, so I do think there is merit in rougher treatment. That doesn't mean tearing them down, undermining their feelings, or cursing them out. I don't have a son, but I know if I didn't I couldn't treat him like I do my daughters, especially my eldest. She's sensitive, so sometimes I do have to handle her with kid gloves. That's ok, because she's a girl and the world won't really punish her for that. Dude who are sensitive like that have a tough time though.
 
The Lonious Monk said:
I get where you're coming from, but I don't quite agree. Let's get away from this example because the dude was over-the-top regardless of the gender of the child.

I think there is a difference between how boys and girls process things, and I don't think motivation will always be the same. Right or wrong, the world expects boys to be tougher, so I do think there is merit in rougher treatment. That doesn't mean tearing them down, undermining their feelings, or cursing them out. I don't have a son, but I know if I didn't I couldn't treat him like I do my daughters, especially my eldest. She's sensitive, so sometimes I do have to handle her with kid gloves. That's ok, because she's a girl and the world won't really punish her for that. Dude who are sensitive like that have a tough time though.
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I think I understand what you're trying to say but admittedly I don't have the bandwidth right now to articulate what parts I disagree with
 
Duwop said:
Not so differently that you're in a norm or berating your son's but empowering your daughters.

Both children should be motivated and feel supported. Neither should be torn down for being upset with their performance.

A lotta parents seem to understand this with girls, but feel like they have to be angry at the boys. Which is trash
Click to expand...

Parent your kid by their personality 1st and that helps alot. There's no catch all to it. Kids are individuals who all process shit differently. And I think there's people who don't see kids as actual people which colors how they interact and speak to them.
 
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