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I can't stop laughing at this

Man I wish I was high

 
I’m all for originality but I also have to protect my son from daily roast sessions in school when he “rolls” into class wit’ his feet lighting up like undercover police cars...
I let my son wear what the fuck he pleases.
His roast game and his hands are undefeated.

I got bigger fish to fry
 
my sister just called me to tell me she got picked up on a dui last night, I’m just disappointed in her thought process... told her to call me next time... yes, the time will piss me off but it beats a dui or wreck... just call me damn it
 
my sister just called me to tell me she got picked up on a dui last night, I’m just disappointed in her thought process... told her to call me next time... yes, the time will piss me off but it beats a dui or wreck... just call me damn it
Did she make the newspaper?
 
my sister just called me to tell me she got picked up on a dui last night, I’m just disappointed in her thought process... told her to call me next time... yes, the time will piss me off but it beats a dui or wreck... just call me damn it


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