Look, I get that it’s tough for men just as it is for women, albeit in some very different ways and, in some similar ways too. But if a man feels insecure he should express it. If he needs assurance, he should express it. Where men get it wrong is crossing that boundary and saying I’M feeling insecure so I get to control what you do. That is a hard no. Relationships are not about controlling others so you can feel good about yourself. In the same way a man would not tolerate a woman saying, “I feel insecure when you go out with your boys at night so I don’t want you going out at night.”
Men need to learn how to pick women. This is at the heart of it. The same men complaining 24/7 about ain’t shit women don’t know how to act when they get with a good woman with a good head on her shoulders cos they have not done the work to heal and grow and deal with their trauma. If you get with a good woman and you have done the work to heal your damn self then you won’t feel the need to control what a woman wears. And, if you feel insecure you’ll be vocal to her about your need for assurance and know you can trust her to handle it, assure you and still be down for you. Men handle it ALL wrong then when women clap back their answer is “ThE mAtRiaRcHy”
I know plenty of women who don’t dress sexy AT ALL who cheat and sleep around. So all this controlling is not even logical and shows it is coming from an emotionally immature place rather than a place of rationality.
As a woman, I only date hot men who take care of their bodies cos I do the same. I’m not insecure cos if he wants to cheat then idgaf. That’s why I take care of myself. I’ll replace him soon enough.
