Should Trans Be Obligated To Tell Potential Partners Their Original Sex?

[Golden]

I don't think a trans person should disclose who they are.
Because of safety reasons and the fact it implies that trans people are abhorrent and should be "warned" about. (which is false)

Lets face the facts!!!
a lot of people know when they are messing with a transgender person, period.
when a person says they *didn't know*, they are lying more often than not and at the end of the day what does it matter?
outside of reproduction....
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?!!?

lol like nobody is tricked into dating a trans person
cut the BS
I think a trans person should only inform the person if they are thinking about kids
that's it.

Once I take on a new ID, once I transition into whoever I am becoming, it doesn't matter what I was before outside of reproduction.
I no longer ID with that self.
...therefore, its not my right to tell you.
If you feel tricked.....oh well.

:word?:you knew what it was from the beginning.
Like I said, people are seldom tricked when it comes to these things.


Transgender people are not out here running game on cisgender, heterosexual - identifying men and women.
Cis-hetero men and women run game on themselves. You were attracted to someone that was different and now you running around pointing fingers, blaming transgender people for your "ignorance" because you wanted to be on some "freaky" shit.
lmaoooooo stop it.



Stop infringing on peoples rights because you're uncomfortable.
Stop being scared of the fact that sexuality falls on a spectrum and one day you might be doing the "mmmmmbop" with a trans person.

girl, I see ur points n they are food for thought. Hormone treatment and surgery has come a long way though, I have personally met a number of trans people who would be capable of passing.

To even be passing is a privileged place and not the norm because surgery and hormone treatment to that extent is either expensive or time consuming and has to happen at an early age to materialize to the point of "passing", so ur right in that being trans passing isn't that common. Most trans ppl have to do it in stages for economic or practical reasons, n most don't reach the point of ever being 100% passing.

To say that people who were 'tricked' r lyin to themselves n did know is making a blanket assumption that they truly weren't dealing with trans people who are able to pass. Things have come a long way and trans-passing is gonna be more common, esp now that it's becoming accepted as a medical condition and kids can begin transition before puberty kicks in. They're the ones who almost always end up in a position to pass.

We're prolly the 1st generation for whom being mistaken about or unable to detect the birth sex of a person is even an issue. Back in the day they cld see the 5 o clock shadow of the best of the best.

 

[Duwop]

I don't think a trans person should disclose who they are.
Because of safety reasons and the fact it implies that trans people are abhorrent and should be "warned" about. (which is false)

Lets face the facts!!!
a lot of people know when they are messing with a transgender person, period.
when a person says they *didn't know*, they are lying more often than not and at the end of the day what does it matter?
outside of reproduction....
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?!!?

lol like nobody is tricked into dating a trans person
cut the BS
I think a trans person should only inform the person if they are thinking about kids
that's it.

Once I take on a new ID, once I transition into whoever I am becoming, it doesn't matter what I was before outside of reproduction.
I no longer ID with that self.
...therefore, its not my right to tell you.
If you feel tricked.....oh well.

:word?:you knew what it was from the beginning.
Like I said, people are seldom tricked when it comes to these things.


Transgender people are not out here running game on cisgender, heterosexual - identifying men and women.
Cis-hetero men and women run game on themselves. You were attracted to someone that was different and now you running around pointing fingers, blaming transgender people for your "ignorance" because you wanted to be on some "freaky" shit.
lmaoooooo stop it.



Stop infringing on peoples rights because you're uncomfortable.
Stop being scared of the fact that sexuality falls on a spectrum and one day you might be doing the "mmmmmbop" with a trans person.

a relationship built on false pretenses is destined to fail.

Changing ones gender is no minor thing. It is major. Major enough to end a relationship.

some things about a person's past cannot be trivialized....major major things like that need to be addressed.

Were you married before? do you have children? have you ever been to jail? ever murdered somebody? Do you have a high school diploma? Ever filed for bankruptcy? Were you ever homeless? Ever sell sex for money?Things like that need to be full disclosure as it's flat out inconsiderate to not think to let someone you have intentions of building any type of relationship.

Relationships are built on trust and communication. You have to be willing to communicate things in order to build trust.

People know when they have a game changer in their past....If i was living with HIV/Aids, but my meds had it well under control for over 20 years to the point where it's virtually undetectable....I still know that for a fact this is a game changer, and if I intend on moving forward with a person, i'm going to have to put that out there before things get sexual....

regardless of how safe I know I may be, someone else has the right to know who they are sleeping with...

not telling a person you went through a sex change is INCONSIDERATE, SELFISH, DECEPTIVE, DANGEROUS....

especially if a person is attempting to build a serious relationship.....

because at any point in time this is revealed.....it's essentially over....because if it was not a big deal, it would be casually disclosed.....

there is no redemption with that situation...anyone who disagrees just isn't being realistic.....

even transgender people would be offended if they were deceived on that level

 

[Golden]

a relationship built on false pretenses is destined to fail.

Changing ones gender is no minor thing. It is major. Major enough to end a relationship.

some things about a person's past cannot be trivialized....major major things like that need to be addressed.

Were you married before? do you have children? have you ever been to jail? ever murdered somebody? Do you have a high school diploma? Ever filed for bankruptcy? Were you ever homeless? Ever sell sex for money?Things like that need to be full disclosure as it's flat out inconsiderate to not think to let someone you have intentions of building any type of relationship.

Unrelated but y is this relevant if it ain't their present? That's like askin sum1s salary IMO lol

 

[Race Jones]

Your argument is flawed and you tried to preface it be stating people usually know. How can you say that when you have people like Sidney Star walking around who no one would know was born a man unless it had been disclosed? Are you saying that it is never hidden? And that all people who end up romantically interested in a transgendered person know on first contact that they were transgendered? I find that hard to believe....

A better question for you is if a person approaches a trans person assuming they were born as the gender the identify as, should they tell them the truth? Is it ok to knowingly mislead them?

Many trans people disclose who they are and are subsequently killed.
So I'm all for transgender people protecting themselves and their bodies.
If that means not telling you.
OH.FUCKING.WELL.
....get over yourself.

 

[Golden]

Many trans people disclose who they are and are subsequently killed.
So I'm all for transgender people protecting themselves and their bodies.
If that means not telling you.
OH.FUCKING.WELL.
....get over yourself.

Do u wanna be in a relationship with sum1 who might kill u tho?

I hear u on safety but r u really saying the solution is just never telling unless they wanna start trying for a baby biologically?

 

[Race Jones]

A lot of trans people aren't passing and don't get the option to disclose when they please
SOOOOOOOO whats all the panic about?
the majority arent "passing" as cis and disclose every minute or every day without choice.

Disclose/Non-disclosure carry the same risk of assault/homicide that's what we should be talking about.
Why are dumbass heterosexuals so fragile and out here killing trans people.

If someone has to disclose everything about themselves so you don't kill them, YOU HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM.

 

[Race Jones]

Do u wanna be in a relationship with sum1 who might kill u tho?

I hear u on safety but r u really saying the solution is just never telling unless they wanna start trying for a baby biologically?

Of course I wouldnt want to cozy up to a bigot.
But harm is always present for a trans person no matter how you slice it.

 

[Golden]

A lot of trans people aren't passing and don't get the option to disclose when they please
SOOOOOOOO whats all the panic about?
the majority arent "passing" as cis and disclose every minute or every day without choice.

Disclose/Non-disclosure carry the same risk of assault/homicide that's what we should be talking about.
Why are dumbass heterosexuals so fragile and out here killing trans people.

If someone has to disclose everything about themselves so you don't kill them, YOU HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM.

This is about the passing trans tho. As u said, it isn't even an option or question for the majority. The ones who have to willfully disclose it or get caught slipping (voice switches up after drinking or something) are specifically the ones that are being discussed.

The majority of heterosexuals are not out here killing trans genders and nothing justifies violence against a minority like that. That's a separate discussion tho, repeatedly going to the 'they cld die over it' is an extreme and a red herring.

If we're going down the 'they cld die sharing it', that would be true if reproduction comes up. You said that's the exception where it would be relevant for them to share. What happens when they admit the reason they can't have a kid biologically is cuz they weren't born m or f? They could get a hit on their life for that too, if not more so than disclosing before there's investment. So why is it an exception?

 

[JUDAH]

Many trans people disclose who they are and are subsequently killed.
So I'm all for transgender people protecting themselves and their bodies.
If that means not telling you.
OH.FUCKING.WELL.
....get over yourself.

You avoiding this L lol....

When they are killed in the situations you mentioned, how deep has the relationship gone? We are talking about someone willingly hiding this MAJOR detail from someone who otherwise wouldn't know they were not born as the person they are interested in. You are co-signing deceit and being stubborn lol.

 

[Duwop]

Unrelated but y is this relevant if it ain't their present? That's like askin sum1s salary IMO lol

maybe not as a child, but would it not affect you if you found out the person you're chilling with was homeless for a few years as an adult?
that's a traumatic experience that has no doubt left some serious psychological residue....

it's just like prison or an extended tour in the military...they were in a completely different mindset as they were looking at the world from a complete different perspective.....things like that need to be on the table...

 

[Golden]

@Race Jones does have a point though, even removing the death/violence risk of reveals from the conversation.

The % of trans people who cam cosmetically pass as cisgender is low. Particularly if it's reached the point of physical intimacy. Questions like this are hypotheticals.

Trans people are already few and far between, the likelihood of you ending up on a date with a PASSING one is even lower. It's still a good question but the reason why the question comes up so often says something else.

It's raised so frequently, to the point where it isn't in proportion to the risk factor trans-passers pose of tricking one of us. It is because we as people are tryna wrap our head around the Other.

It's something I struggle with myself because I'm not sure if I would continue a relationship with a man who was born female, despite my respecting their identified gender. If they hid it? That's worse. On the first few dates it would've just been a "oh, that's cool we can be friends/explore platonic avenues". Beyond that, I'd feel deceived and sever ties. Leaving it too long is a waste of everyone's time.

 

[Duwop]

Many trans people disclose who they are and are subsequently killed.
So I'm all for transgender people protecting themselves and their bodies.
If that means not telling you.
OH.FUCKING.WELL.
....get over yourself.

get over yourself?


naw.....that won't fly here....cuz if you're not disclosing, guess what you're doing??....being selfish....

if you are only in the relationship for your own benefit and not for the other person as well...you are very selfish....

in fact....

imma go ahead and concede that a transgender person doesn't HAVE to disclose..... but they need to accept that they are a selfish, inconsiderate person who chooses to be in a deceptive relationship built off of false pretenses......

they have to recognize that they will never be truly honest with this person, and that the relationship is shallow at best and could be easily toppled by any person who does know the truth....

if a person can willingly accept those things about themselves... then go ahead... lie away....

;;;;;

 

[Race Jones]

This is about the passing trans tho. As u said, it isn't even an option or question for the majority. The ones who have to willfully disclose it or get caught slipping (voice switches up after drinking or something) are specifically the ones that are being discussed.

The majority of heterosexuals are not out here killing trans genders and nothing justifies violence against a minority like that. That's a separate discussion tho, repeatedly going to the 'they cld die over it' is an extreme and a red herring.

If we're going down the 'they cld die sharing it', that would be true if reproduction comes up. You said that's the exception where it would be relevant for them to share. What happens when they admit the reason they can't have a kid biologically is cuz they weren't born m or f? They could get a hit on their life for that too, if not more so than disclosing before there's investment. So why is it an exception?

I never said the majority of heterosexuals are out here killing trans people.
Also me saying they could die over disclosing isn't extreme. As someone who writes for an editor who is trans, who lost a friend who was trans to suicide, and works with transgender youth day in and day out, this is a reality for many of them.
Cisgender- heterosexual IDing males are killing transgender women.
Many of whom disclosed beforehand.
This is a fact.

I only spoke about reproduction because I know people have this odd, eugenic obsession with hereditarianism
I truly wasn't invested in that argument sis.

 

[Race Jones]

I truly love the way @BNE thinks.

 

[Lou Cypher]

Yes. Very Yes. That should be one of the first things brought up.

 

[willhustle]

I don't think a trans person should disclose who they are.
Because of safety reasons and the fact it implies that trans people are abhorrent and should be "warned" about. (which is false)

Lets face the facts!!!
a lot of people know when they are messing with a transgender person, period.
when a person says they *didn't know*, they are lying more often than not and at the end of the day what does it matter?
outside of reproduction....
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?!!?

lol like nobody is tricked into dating a trans person
cut the BS
I think a trans person should only inform the person if they are thinking about kids
that's it.

Once I take on a new ID, once I transition into whoever I am becoming, it doesn't matter what I was before outside of reproduction.
I no longer ID with that self.
...therefore, its not my right to tell you.
If you feel tricked.....oh well.

:word?:you knew what it was from the beginning.
Like I said, people are seldom tricked when it comes to these things.


Transgender people are not out here running game on cisgender, heterosexual - identifying men and women.
Cis-hetero men and women run game on themselves. You were attracted to someone that was different and now you running around pointing fingers, blaming transgender people for your "ignorance" because you wanted to be on some "freaky" shit.
lmaoooooo stop it.



Stop infringing on peoples rights because you're uncomfortable.
Stop being scared of the fact that sexuality falls on a spectrum and one day you might be doing the "mmmmmbop" with a trans person.

I think your response is very naive if you don't think trans ppl don't tell their partners that they were men beforehand. Why do you think so many guys go upside these t/s heads? It because they tried to run game on hetrosexuals men by not disclosing their actual gender.

Now I won't disagree with you about the fact that you got men who sleep with trans on the low (after they were told) and when they get aired out they trying to kill the t/s. That ain't cool. The dudes that make that choice after it was disclosed to them, that's on the guys.

I don't have a hatred for those who choose to live that identity/lifestyle but not everyone in the trans community are disclosing their identity and they should. If they did I believe it would keep the BS down. I ain't for violence but TS who blatantly try to run game and don't tell men well... Deal with the potential consequences.

 

[Golden]

I truly love the way @BNE thinks.

It's mutual boo. I actually find your view refreshing.

Many trans people disclose who they are and are subsequently killed.
So I'm all for transgender people protecting themselves and their bodies.
If that means not telling you.
OH.FUCKING.WELL.
....get over yourself.

Nobody is saying they shouldn't protect themselves and their bodies.

It's a question of whether they're entitled to the bodies of beings who wouldn't have shared their bodies and affections with them, with full disclosure. That's where it infringes another's individual freedoms.

Yes, the logic of trans = an automatic dealbreaker is problematic and should ve questioned, even internally, but being in a relationship isn't a necessity, it's a choice. In the dating world, people are entitled to their deal breakers and red flags.

Withholding relevant information them in order to not be disqualified from dating them is leading them on with deception. And if there's a possibility of them having sex with you, it is relevant. Sharing bodies is personal and that complicates things.

Tangent but for the sake of argument, what are your thoughts on laws relating to rape by deception? Why is it okay for consent to be gained through instances of deception, when the perpetrator is trans?

 

[Reesey]

Complete disclosure is best.

I may not agree with all the CHANGES this world is going through, but I believe a trans partner has the right to know what they are getting into and the origin of thier mate.

Who are you to deceive someone else, In any way form or fashion?

If that person chooses not to be with you afterwards, good riddance.

No excuse for lies or secrecy. You were confident and secure enough to change your dang sex (smh).. be just as confident when explaining to your mate that very decision.

 

[Race Jones]

@Race Jones does have a point though, even removing the death/violence risk of reveals from the conversation.

The % of trans people who cam cosmetically pass as cisgender is low. Particularly if it's reached the point of physical intimacy. Questions like this are hypotheticals.

Trans people are already few and far between, the likelihood of you ending up on a date with a PASSING one is even lower. It's still a good question but the reason why the question comes up so often says something else.

It's raised so frequently, to the point where it isn't in proportion to the risk factor trans-passers pose of tricking one of us. It is because we as people are tryna wrap our head around the Other.

It's something I struggle with myself because I'm not sure if I would continue a relationship with a man who was born female, despite my respecting their identified gender. If they hid it? That's worse. On the first few dates it would've just been a "oh, that's cool we can be friends/explore platonic avenues". Beyond that, I'd feel deceived and sever ties. Leaving it too long is a waste of everyone's time.

The question is often raised so people can air out their biases.
I rarely see people have a genuine interest in the lives of trans people.

I say go out and talk to trans people.
I mean they are dating, fucking, having kids, living full ass lives.
lmaooo


we talk about trans people as if they aren't fully functioning people.
I mean these are real human beings with real bodies.

but Im tired of debating these kinds of things
I'm not an ally or patron saint of transgender people.
I hate performative allyship and solidarity.

I just care about the lives of the people around me. I care about the kids I mentor to and I don't have time as a Black women, who understands how hegemony works, to further the subjugation of another marginalized group
thats dumb ass hell.

Disclose/Not to disclose idc the reality is people still dont see transpeople as human beings and they will continue to die for it.

 

[Duwop]

wor

what are your thoughts on laws relating to rape by deception?

dzzamn

the worms that are in that can.....
:clawd: