Over-Protected Parent/Being The Only One (Going Places)

Knock_Twice said:
Not sure what's horrible about my example. Are you saying that the examples that I have used, the 2 in this thread couldn't happened in real life because they're horrible?

I bet you, my examples happens more often than what you know
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Bcuz I've never seen you present an example that offers a new perspective. They always make me double down on my answer. It's like you try to get me to look at something a different way, and it just comes off as more of a reason to say what I said the first time.

Not one example you provided gave me more of a reason to trust an adult I don't really know with my child.
 
Freeman said:
I was an outside kid but I can't stomach that shit. My nephew not going outside if he's staying with me (my sister lets him bike ride in his area) and when my daughter is old enough she not going outside unattended till she a mid teen lol. Sorry. The plan is to go with the sheltered but well traveled and socialized experience.

Had a talk with my nephew (12) about being alone or being the only black person in a group of people that aren't black especially with this Nolan wells stuff going on. He says he doesnt talk to any white kids outside of school besides his godbrothers and sister, he only has 3 black friends (told him not to let them get him in any shit either) he hangs out with outside of school and the indian kid across the street from his house.
I actually met the Indian kid and his parents they brought us dinner one night when I was house sitting and watching my nephew while my sister was out of town for work so they cool in my book but still I told him be wary. Only white people and kids he can be around like that is my girl and his godmother who I've known since I was his age. She my sisters best friend, had a fucked up home and lived with us through high-school. Ive changed her kids diapers so she super valid. She's family.

I will have the same talks with my daughter when the time comes.

There will be no sleepovers unless its at my home and me and my family can supervise.

I went from living in a predominantly black area till I was 14-15 to living in a predominantly white upper middle class - lower upper class area from 15 to 21 so I've definitely had some experiences being the only black kid in the group.
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Say

Your daughter, if your daughter has a boyfriend, 16-18 or better yet 19, age range, you decide to take a fam trip, and she asks you, can her bf tag along on the trip, what's your thoughts on that?
 
Knock_Twice said:
Lol,

I get it. Would you be considered an over-protected parent, If your daughter told you this, how would you feel?

Would you let her go to the skating ring with her friends that's in the blackest part of town with her 3 to 4 black friends?

After this question, I don't have any more.
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You're in Baton Rouge with AP right? From my discussions with him it seems he didn't grow up around really any white people so I'm assuming the same with you. It's just funny how you both respond or ask questions

I'd probably parent the same way I was. They said to be home before the street lights went on and don't get killed or arrested
 
Knock_Twice said:
She can't go, do you think that your daughter in that example will wonder why she can't go? Meaning, are you walking/programming her into the realm of her not trusting white folks? Again, she's the only black.

Will the parents of Emily or hell the other cheerleaders who are at the slumber party have these thoughts about why your daughter didn't show up? Making them see how truly of a friend your daughter is, because of her parent's views?

Now your daughter may be ostracized from attending the cheer sleep over?

I'm low-key shooting the shits with you and du and others in this thread, but is what I'm saying far-fetched from reality?
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I mean, them all being white doesn't really have much to do with the reasons she isn't going. I wouldn't let my daughter go spend the night with a bunch of children that I don't know and a bunch of parents I don't know. If the exact same scenario were in place but they were all black, I'd feel the same.

For context, I live in a pretty diverse neighborhood. My house used to be looking like the United Nations on weekends when my son had sleepovers. But he's definitely been to sleepovers where he was the only black kid. Sometimes the others were all white. More often though it was a mix of white and Mexican. But those were kids I knew pretty well, and parents that I knew pretty well or my kid's mom knew pretty well. And they'd all been to my house for sleepovers beforehand.

As far as the other kids feeling some sort of way, I'm blessed that my kids (well, my son FOR SURE. My daughter is still too young for me to be sure on this, but all the signs are there) have a really good understanding of which kids are the types of kids they should be friends with and which ones they shouldn't. If some white kids feel some kinda way about my kids not gong to a sleepover, I feel like my kids would be like 'It ain't even that deep, Jenny. Matter fact, I'm cool on you now. Fuck off.'
 
Duwop said:
Bcuz I've never seen you present an example they offers a new perspective. They always make me double down on my answer. It's like you yet to get me to look at sometime a different way, and it just comes off as more of a reason to say what I said the first time.

Not one example you provided gave me more of a reason to trust an adult I don't really know with my child.
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To be fair, my example, the ones presented to you in this thread, I'll speak about, were not to sway you to trust an adult. It's just an example to see how you would go about if something like this was presented at your table.

I hear all kinds of life situations, people just seem to tell me their bullshit or I done had folks around me live through things, and I use them in threads, particular this one to see how you and many other posters would view it or move on it.

I just asked @Freeman an example, that I literally heard over the weekend. White dude, his daughter brought her boyfriend on their family vacation, and I asked, why did he come, the dude told me, that if he didn't come, the daughter wasn't going, the daughter is 17, and he was like, Rachel, (his wife) told him (the dude who is telling me the story) to let the boyfriend come.. and not worried about.

Now the daughter is 3 months pregnant.

So I took that rap and asked @Freeman since we are talking about going places etc with our kids.
 
mryounggun said:
If some white kids feel some kinda way about my kids not gong to a sleepover, I feel like my kids would be like 'It ain't even that deep, Jenny. Matter fact, I'm cool on you now. Fuck off.'
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This. My kids may get annoyed, but they understand where I'm coming from. And not going to let some other kids make them feel bad for not being included. They would definitely be insulted by the notion.
 
Knock_Twice said:
To be fair, my example, the ones presented to you in this thread, I'll speak about, were not to sway you to trust an adult. It's just an example to see how you would go about if something like this was presented at your table.

I hear all kinds of life situations, people just seem to tell me their bullshit or I done had folks around me live through things, and I use them in threads, particular this one to see how you and many other posters would view it or move on it.

I just asked @Freeman an example, that I literally heard over the weekend. White dude, his daughter brought her boyfriend on their family vacation, and I asked, why did he come, the dude told me, that if he didn't come, the daughter wasn't going, the daughter is 17, and he was like, Rachel, (his wife) told him (the dude who is telling me the story) to let the boyfriend come.. and not worried about.

Now the daughter is 3 months pregnant.

So I took that rap and asked @Freeman since we are talking about going places etc with our kids.
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See that's kinda crazy to me.

Cuz

1... If my daughter wanted her bf to come on a family trip... This would 100% have to be a kid that we know very well. We know the parents very well, and we've had these mature discussions about sex, children, and futures before.

2.... They not being left alone, at all. Even if that means the males and females are all separated in different rooms. Like the little boyfriend sleeps in the room with me and my son, and my daughter sleeps in the room with her mother.

3.... No child is giving me an ultimatum. That shit dead in the water. Ain't no he has to come or she ain't going. You're coming if I say you're coming.. End of story.
 
Knock_Twice said:
Say

Your daughter, if your daughter has a boyfriend, 16-18 or better yet 19, age range, you decide to take a fam trip, and she asks you, can her bf tag along on the trip, what's your thoughts on that?
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If I'm familiar and cool with him after 18 he can come along if he pays his own way.
 
Duwop said:
Bcuz I've never seen you present an example that offers a new perspective. They always make me double down on my answer. It's like you try to get me to look at something a different way, and it just comes off as more of a reason to say what I said the first time.

Not one example you provided gave me more of a reason to trust an adult I don't really know with my child.
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It's not really a way to change your outlook on how you parent, or anybody, just putting some real life examples on paper.

As the poster @youngin said to that cheer example, he gave a good explanation but rarely does one see how their decision on something may open up bigger wounds, such as me saying how would the daughter feel or be now looked at practice because she didn't go to the sleepover, would she now be an outsider or be viewed as something by her peers because of something her parents did or did not do. He gave a good answer to that question or outlook from the daughters POV, that he would like to see happen.

Again, when asking Random, he said what he said about his decision and that's cool, I added more to it because nobody or let me say, on here, no one ask the qustions from the other side of the coin,

Would he send his daughter over to the blackest side of town with Keisha, Latrice, and Ari to go see Delaware ST. play Albany foball game etc. or the skating ring.
He post, so I wanted to get his P.O.V.


Yall parent yall way lol, Man I have no dog in no fight with how you all parent yall kids, Yall do a great job from the way yall post about the kids on here

I don't tell any man how to control their home
 
Freeman said:
If I'm familiar and cool with him after 18 he can come along if he pays his own way.
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Nigga said Pay his own way, down bad bro, I get it though.

How are you policing this, you got an Air BNB, are they sharing room, in the room together, hanging back while yall go do activates? etc.
 
Knock_Twice said:
To be fair, my example, the ones presented to you in this thread, I'll speak about, were not to sway you to trust an adult. It's just an example to see how you would go about if something like this was presented at your table.

I hear all kinds of life situations, people just seem to tell me their bullshit or I done had folks around me live through things, and I use them in threads, particular this one to see how you and many other posters would view it or move on it.

I just asked @Freeman an example, that I literally heard over the weekend. White dude, his daughter brought her boyfriend on their family vacation, and I asked, why did he come, the dude told me, that if he didn't come, the daughter wasn't going, the daughter is 17, and he was like, Rachel, (his wife) told him (the dude who is telling me the story) to let the boyfriend come.. and not worried about.

Now the daughter is 3 months pregnant.

So I took that rap and asked @Freeman since we are talking about going places etc with our kids.
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Im not dealing with all that. If she doesn't want to go because her boyfriend not coming she'll be at my sister's or my brother's place and won't be seeing him either way till I we get back. 🤷🏿‍♂️
 
Duwop said:
See that's kinda crazy to me.

Cuz

1... If my daughter wanted her bf to come on a family trip... This would 100% have to be a kid that we know very well. We know the parents very well, and we've had these mature discussions about sex, children, and futures before.

2.... They not being left alone, at all. Even if that means the males and females are all separated in different rooms. Like the little boyfriend sleeps in the room with me and my son, and my daughter sleeps in the room with her mother.

3.... No child is giving me an ultimatum. That shit dead in the water. Ain't no he has to come or she ain't going. You're coming if I say you're coming.. End of story.
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Man, you know some white folks kids run their parents, and apparently by the way he was talking, she seemed to get her way because of the wife doesn't allow him to put his foot down.
Again, I didn't say nothing but listen to buddy.

I don't even think he knows the bf parents like that, well I'm sure, he'll get to know them now, since they are having a baby.

I just listen, buddy seemed upset about it.
 
Knock_Twice said:
Man, you know some white folks kids run their parents, and apparently by the way he was talking, she seemed to get her way because of the wife doesn't allow him to put his foot down.
Again, I didn't say nothing but listen to buddy.

I don't even think he knows the bf parents like that, well I'm sure, he'll get to know them now, since they are having a baby.

I just listen, buddy seemed upset about it.
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Do you get your knowledge from tv shows and movies? Because it sounds like that's where it's coming from lol
 
Knock_Twice said:
Nigga said Pay his own way, down bad bro, I get it though.

How are you policing this, you got an Air BNB, are they sharing room, in the room together, hanging back while yall go do activates? etc.
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The first thing im going to say to him is not to disrespect me and her mom by having sex or any other nasy shit on the trip. If he's brave and bold enough to try and fuck while im in the vicinity thats on him if I catch it cause im probably going to harm him.

I know eventually my daughter is going to be fucking. But if her and her boyfriend can't control their horny enough to not be fucking around family while we're on a vacation we're gonna have a talk that no one likes and furniture might have to move around.

Most people I come across don't need to be told anything twice by me. I am who I am.

I punch people.
 
RandomOne said:
Do you get your knowledge from tv shows and movies? Because it sounds like that's where it's coming from lol
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I didn't watch white TV shows coming up, other than Save By The Bell. Movies, Home Alone, Honey I Shrunk the Kids and Problem Child (all the kids pissed on the parents), and Kevin woulda gotten his teeth knocked out if he said that shit in a black household.

I've been in malls, grocery stores, banks, at schools and seen white kids tell their parents to "Bite me Mom". Brotha, reality is what it is lol

I've been in places where a white kid or kids were acting up, and my own mama saw that shit and wanted to whoop my ass and I wasn't even doing shit lol

Not to say that black kids don't sass their parents, but if the question came up on Jeopardy, which group run their parents, lol, my answer would be white kids/teens.
 
Knock_Twice said:
I didn't watch white TV shows coming up, other than Save By The Bell. Movies, Home Alone, Honey I Shrunk the Kids and Problem Child (all the kids pissed on the parents), and Kevin woulda gotten his teeth knocked out if he said that shit in a black household.

I've been in malls, grocery stores, banks, at schools and seen white kids tell their parents to "Bite me Mom". Brotha, reality is what it is lol

I've been in places where a white kid or kids were acting up, and my own mama saw that shit and wanted to whoop my ass and I wasn't even doing shit lol

Not to say that black kids don't sass their parents, but if the question came up on Jeopardy, which group run their parents, lol, my answer would be white kids/teens.
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But you understand generalizations, averages, sample sizes, etc. right? Lol
 
Knock_Twice said:
Man, you know some white folks kids run their parents, and apparently by the way he was talking, she seemed to get her way because of the wife doesn't allow him to put his foot down.
Again, I didn't say nothing but listen to buddy.

I don't even think he knows the bf parents like that, well I'm sure, he'll get to know them now, since they are having a baby.

I just listen, buddy seemed upset about it.
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RandomOne said:
Do you get your knowledge from tv shows and movies? Because it sounds like that's where it's coming from lol
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I've definitely seen how some rich white kids deal with their parents first hand. That definitely isn't no tv shit. Its real. Ive seen some outrageous shit that could have never flew in my black ass house with my black ass parents.

Was only a couple white friends I ever trusted to bring home based on how I saw them interacting with their parents. I could not guarantee the safety of the wild ones lol.
 
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