COMMUNITY Official Motherhood Thread

[Royal]

As long as you are firm and consistent in your no, your little one will eventually stop and be more independent. Extra positive praise when do something on their own will also help.

Definitely will work on giving positive praise when he is being independent. Definitely getting better at pausing before I speak to my child. I had a very strict militant childhood. And I find myself being short and very much how my dad was with me. I desire to move a little differently with my son. But its hard to break the habits and ways we learn from our parents or those who raised us.

 

[Meeks]

My child is starting to be extra clingy lately. How do/did you balance showing affection but not over coddling your child. I find myself saying you don't need mommy to help or do this for you.Also I feel like because he is around his baby cousin more he is picking up on her behavior .

Also just want to say whomever needs to hear....your a great mother.

How old is he?

They go through phases. I’m extremely affectionate and so my daughter is as well. I never worry about giving her too much love because there’s no such thing. I wholeheartedly believe that giving them affection whenever they desire it allows them to trust us in a way that makes them more independent. It’s like they’re saying “well, I can do this and I know if I need mommy she will be right here”.
So I honestly give affection and acknowledge her feelings but also reassure her that she can do something without me too. Balance.

 

[Sturdy Harris]

Ladies I know this is yall spot, forgive me lol. I just wanted to speak on my Fatherhood journey. I dont have the "village" and first child so I'm out here learning as I go. I coparent and man I think my daughter going through seperation anxiety, and its hitting her very hard.

We have so much fun, but randomly it just hit, you see her face change and a "mama" mumble and the crying just flows. Last night she woke up looking for mama, hopped out the bed, walking through the house and everything. "Mama hug, Mama bed" Aint nothing like that pain when you realize it ain't nothing you can do to help yo baby.

It's around 3 in the morning and I'm trying to console her knowing I gotta be back up at at 6 to get us ready for our day. Distractions dont even work. She asked for juice, I got it and she just held the cup and started crying. She asked for a snack, now she got the cup in hand and the snack in the other and commences to bury her head in my chest and just cry yo. Eventually she just settled around 5.

Lord knows I'm exhausted, but I'm gonna pick her up after work, put that smile on and just keep pushing.

 

[Meeks]

Ladies I know this is yall spot, forgive me lol. I just wanted to speak on my Fatherhood journey. I dont have the "village" and first child so I'm out here learning as I go. I coparent and man I think my daughter going through seperation anxiety, and its hitting her very hard.

We have so much fun, but randomly it just hit, you see her face change and a "mama" mumble and the crying just flows. Last night she woke up looking for mama, hopped out the bed, walking through the house and everything. "Mama hug, Mama bed" Aint nothing like that pain when you realize it ain't nothing you can do to help yo baby.

It's around 3 in the morning and I'm trying to console her knowing I gotta be back up at at 6 to get us ready for our day. Distractions dont even work. She asked for juice, I got it and she just held the cup and started crying. She asked for a snack, now she got the cup in hand and the snack in the other and commences to bury her head in my chest and just cry yo. Eventually she just settled around 5.

Lord knows I'm exhausted, but I'm gonna pick her up after work, put that smile on and just keep pushing.

How old is she?

That separation anxiety is so real especially for the babies. Just give endless hugs and cuddles because it actually gets better. My daughter is attached to me just like that but as time has went on, she will cry to go to my grandmother where as before she would call and be like I WANNA GO HOME (She’s 5). The waking up in the middle of the night is also normal, they naturally can go through sleep regressions. Anything you can do to make being with you more familiar like home with mom especially at bedtime? Maybe get one of her shirts and put it on a bear, the smell of her mom may actually help her stay sleep longer too.

 

[Sturdy Harris]

How old is she?

That separation anxiety is so real especially for the babies. Just give endless hugs and cuddles because it actually gets better. My daughter is attached to me just like that but as time has went on, she will cry to go to my grandmother where as before she would call and be like I WANNA GO HOME (She’s 5). The waking up in the middle of the night is also normal, they naturally can go through sleep regressions. Anything you can do to make being with you more familiar like home with mom especially at bedtime? Maybe get one of her shirts and put it on a bear, the smell of her mom may actually help her stay sleep longer too.

She's 2 years old.

Thanks, I appreciate the advice. I dont know if I'll be able to get a shirt, situation with her momma is "different" to put it politely lol. But I'll definitely give it a shot, Its surreal watching your kid walking through the house looking for somebody that ain't there. The sooner we can end this phase, the better.

 

[Meeks]

She's 2 years old.

Thanks, I appreciate the advice. I dont know if I'll be able to get a shirt, situation with her momma is "different" to put it politely lol. But I'll definitely give it a shot, Its surreal watching your kid walking through the house looking for somebody that ain't there. The sooner we can end this phase, the better.

Awwww, she’s only 2! This is definitely normal, whew. I understand the situation, though it sucks. It’ll get better, I promise. Just validate her little feelings and give affection. Soon she’ll be like whatever, I’m with daddy so I’m good.

 

[Royal]

How old is he?

They go through phases. I’m extremely affectionate and so my daughter is as well. I never worry about giving her too much love because there’s no such thing. I wholeheartedly believe that giving them affection whenever they desire it allows them to trust us in a way that makes them more independent. It’s like they’re saying “well, I can do this and I know if I need mommy she will be right here”.
So I honestly give affection and acknowledge her feelings but also reassure her that she can do something without me too. Balance.

He is 9 years old. And I agree balance is key. I want to avoid creating co-dependent behavior and coping mechanisms

 

[Royal]

Ladies I know this is yall spot, forgive me lol. I just wanted to speak on my Fatherhood journey. I dont have the "village" and first child so I'm out here learning as I go. I coparent and man I think my daughter going through seperation anxiety, and its hitting her very hard.

We have so much fun, but randomly it just hit, you see her face change and a "mama" mumble and the crying just flows. Last night she woke up looking for mama, hopped out the bed, walking through the house and everything. "Mama hug, Mama bed" Aint nothing like that pain when you realize it ain't nothing you can do to help yo baby.

It's around 3 in the morning and I'm trying to console her knowing I gotta be back up at at 6 to get us ready for our day. Distractions dont even work. She asked for juice, I got it and she just held the cup and started crying. She asked for a snack, now she got the cup in hand and the snack in the other and commences to bury her head in my chest and just cry yo. Eventually she just settled around 5.

Lord knows I'm exhausted, but I'm gonna pick her up after work, put that smile on and just keep pushing.

Yes she is learning still and what your doing is perfectly fine. Children understanding of safety and comfort in certain moments is very much based on the 1st experience of safety they had. Maybe playing songs or just speaking words of affirmations over her. Your safe, everything is okay...etc. music can be very helpful. The vibrations really can help calm children down and center themselves. I just started playing sound bowls music videos. He is into it now and will go play it himself when he feels like he needs help calming down

 

[Royal]

She's 2 years old.

Thanks, I appreciate the advice. I dont know if I'll be able to get a shirt, situation with her momma is "different" to put it politely lol. But I'll definitely give it a shot, Its surreal watching your kid walking through the house looking for somebody that ain't there. The sooner we can end this phase, the better.

I love her content. Not sure if you have IG. I think she has a youtube as well. But she has great recommendations.

 

[Sturdy Harris]

I love her content. Not sure if you have IG. I think she has a youtube as well. But she has great recommendations.

Thanks for the reccomendation. I'll give this a look.

 

[Remedy]

Ladies did you breastfeed, pump or bottle feed (formula) your baby? What influenced your decision?

 

[Tayboo]

Ladies did you breastfeed, pump or bottle feed (formula) your baby? What influenced your decision?

Bottle fed formula my oldest and pumped for about six months with my second. I gave my oldest formula because my mom and grandmother convinced me that was what I should do. Tried breastfeeding my little one, but he just didn't like the boob.

 

[Royal]

Ladies did you breastfeed, pump or bottle feed (formula) your baby? What influenced your decision?

Breast fed for about 10 months. I really liked and had no issues. I stopped because I had to go for military training and was away for too long. I pumped as much as possible before I left.