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Men, how would you handle this?

Loquacious

Loquacious

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I think there was a similar thread like this but I’m not looking for it.


How would you handle finding out a child that you thought was yours wasn’t yours after about 7-10 years?

What’s the future like for you and the child?
 
Its easy to speculate until ur in that situation and actually can put a face to a child u loved/helped raise all those years.

With that said im outty 5000 with newly found alcoholism, til i find God again, go to AA meetings, clean up, meet a girl whos been clean off drugs, only for her to relapse n leave me with step children i know damn sure aint mine off jump


Lifes funny like that
 
These days I 100% regret the way I handled it.

I found out a few weeks short of her 3rd birthday. I've only seen her once since then when she was 5. It was a very brief moment, in passing and from a distance, but she completely recognized me. That was the moment regret set in but I managed to set it aside for the last 17 years.

Last Saturday was exactly 19 years from the day I got that letter from Wayne County FOTC saying 0.000%.
 
konceptjones said:
These days I 100% regret the way I handled it.

I found out a few weeks short of her 3rd birthday. I've only seen her once since then when she was 5. It was a very brief moment, in passing and from a distance, but she completely recognized me. That was the moment regret set in but I managed to set it aside for the last 17 years.

Last Saturday was exactly 19 years from the day I got that letter from Wayne County FOTC saying 0.000%.
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What?
 
konceptjones said:
These days I 100% regret the way I handled it.

I found out a few weeks short of her 3rd birthday. I've only seen her once since then when she was 5. It was a very brief moment, in passing and from a distance, but she completely recognized me. That was the moment regret set in but I managed to set it aside for the last 17 years.

Last Saturday was exactly 19 years from the day I got that letter from Wayne County FOTC saying 0.000%.
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Was you still with the moms when u found out or yall had already broke up?
 
Goldie said:
Was you still with the moms when u found out or yall had already broke up?
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We were mending our relationship when I got the letter ordering a paternity test. She had a man, but he was an ass towards her and she was looking at the door. She had been living with me for about a month and a half 'cause her living situation was fucked up. I helped her get into the apartment next door to me and about a week after she moved in there is when the letter came. I went off completely 'cause I felt as if she knew what was going on and just didn't give me a heads-up and after that I pretty much just cut her off completely.

We had broke up and got back together a couple of times prior to that but this time looked like we got all of our issues out of the way, matured, and were ready to settle down and finally get married. To be perfectly honest, if I hadn't let my temper get the best of me we most likely would have sat down and discussed it, worked through it, and moved forward from there like we always had done with issues between us.
 
konceptjones said:
We were mending our relationship when I got the letter ordering a paternity test. She had a man, but he was an ass towards her and she was looking at the door. She had been living with me for about a month and a half 'cause her living situation was fucked up. I helped her get into the apartment next door to me and about a week after she moved in there is when the letter came. I went off completely 'cause I felt as if she knew what was going on and just didn't give me a heads-up and after that I pretty much just cut her off completely.

We had broke up and got back together a couple of times prior to that but this time looked like we got all of our issues out of the way, matured, and were ready to settle down and finally get married. To be perfectly honest, if I hadn't let my temper get the best of me we most likely would have sat down and discussed it, worked through it, and moved forward from there like we always had done with issues between us.
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It sounds like you feel she's the one who got away.
 
ChicagoFigure said:
Not only that....

...any chance the mom didnt know 100% whether it was your child?

Did she ever talk about how much the baby looks like u during all this shit??

I'd be too pissed to stay, shit probably would be too unhealthy for the household anyway
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The whole situation is very complicated to be perfectly honest.

She didn't know 100% and neither did I. There was another nigga involved and I knew who the other nigga was 'cause we had broke up once before because of him. When my daughter was born she looked a lot like a mix of me and her mother. Her baby pics had a really strong resemblance to my family and everything and the older she got the more she looked like the two of us. The other nigga used to try to tell folks that was his child but nobody believed him 'cause she looked just so much like me back then. From what I remember, that nigga used to get heated whenever people would tell him "no way that's your baby, she look just like Koncept".

That just made it harder to accept the DNA test when it came in. How the hell did she resemble me but ain't mine? And me and dude look absolutely nothing alike so how did this come back 0.000%?
 
It would be tough. I couldn’t just ghost the child but i don’t think I’d be able to be civilized enough around the mom to stay in their lives.
 
konceptjones said:
The other nigga used to try to tell folks that was his child but nobody believed him 'cause she looked just so much like me back then. From what I remember, that nigga used to get heated whenever people would tell him "no way that's your baby, she look just like Koncept".

That just made it harder to accept the DNA test when it came in.


How the hell did she resemble me but ain't mine? And me and dude look absolutely nothing alike so how did this come back 0.000%?
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Even though DNA tests are usually accurate..........clerical errors happen all the time.


It's possible you might've received someone else's test results.
 
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