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Maintaining A Relationship

5th Letter said:
Keep the same energy from the beginning of the relationship. Once people (especially men) get comfortable they begin to slack off.
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you foul for this.

i know many women who stop doing the crazy shit once she got comfortable.

know a dude used to brag to us how his chick gave him the bootyhole.

once she got comfortable...she stopped and he started complaining she only gave it up during holidays and then it stopped altogether.
 
Cain said:
Don't bite your tongue.

Keep it new

Don't try to change them

LISTEN to them

Love them for their faults


You're welcome ABW
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i think people tend to bite there tongue is because they cant say shit without negative intentions.
 
just a few things that i've learned on my journey thus far

  1. Be responsible to your mate, but dont be responsible for your mate. A lot of times we confuse things we are responsible to our partners for and mix them with things that we shouldn't be responsible for. It is your responsibility to your mate to be honest but it's not your responsibility for their reactions and emotions. I'm not advocating being a dick and not being compassionate about how you approach the situation, but some people have had so much hurt in their eyes, that their perspective is extremely warped, so you can have the nicest approach in the world, and it is highly possible they will still find something wrong with it.
  2. Dont be a victim about EVERYTHING. Yes, things happen to all of us, but if every encounter you seem to have with someone is an unpleasant one, then you may be the issue.
  3. Dont be above an apology. Apologies can really go a long way in mending difficult situations that occur throughout the relationship.
  4. I dont see anything wrong with talking to a family member. My only advice is, just like how selective you are with other things in your life, choose someone you feel is unbiased and can give you a perspective outside of your own. If it just so happens that they see your pov more than your partners, ok, but as long as they aren't just simply telling you what you want to hear to appease you, then i dont see the issue in talking with someone. Surround yourself with people that arent afraid to call you out on your shit. This is super important. If they feel like they cant be blunt honest with you and tell you that you tripping, then you are only doing yourself a disservice.
  5. Last one for now...set boundaries and not walls. Walls are designed to keep stuff out and not let anything in. Fences however, are designed so that they can open/close depending on the situation. As people come in and out of your life, having your boundaries as fences allows them to come and go for the seasons they need to be. Once you have learned from that situation, you can open your fence, and allow them to leave. If you have built a wall of hurt from previous relationships (not exclusive to intimate ones but this includes family as well), then you dont allow that hurt to leave. It stays there in a toxic cloud ruining current and future relationships.
I'll be back if i get the urge to share something else.
 
DOS_patos said:
true...but sometimes people create an environment where they cause the other person to appear to break the trust when it was never there to begin with.
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Those people have issues. Sometimes it stems from not trusting themselves or their parents when they were younger..
I wish people would try to heal themselves before looking for someone else to love and heal them.
 
Moonbabe said:
Those people have issues. Sometimes it stems from not trusting themselves or their parents when they were younger..
I wish people would try to heal themselves before looking for someone else to love and heal them.
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good answer.

but how many people self analyze themselves? how many people take responsibly? how many people people take accountability?

we live in a society where everything is everyone elses fault.
 
DOS_patos said:
good answer.

but how many people self analyze themselves? how many people take responsibly? how many people people take accountability?

we live in a society where everything is everyone elses fault.
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You're so right. It's hard when society is set up like this. That's why you have to work on yourself until you find someone else who has also put in the work..
 
DOS_patos said:
communication.

without it you dont know if you have trust or honesty.

Understanding.

understand how empathy and sympathy works. we all need something. Just because 1 person needs a certain thing doesnt make them weaker than another person.

Small talk.

A simple call to check up on them. see how their life is going.

if you dont have or are willing to do any of these even when it doesnt come back to you immediately...then you are selfish and not worth a relationship.
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Maaaaaaaaan, that small talk though. I was the King of "It Ain't Shit to Talk About," so I'd call once a day MAX after the first few months. If I went out or something, I'd call more as I encountered more stuff. Now? Having seen what it's like to be on the opposite end of the check up spectrum, fuuuuuuuuck...
 
First of all you should check her phone as much as you can at the start of the relationship, fuck all that trust shit trust is earned! never let her catch you looking at her phone. if you can get her facebook password then you are golden, if another guy has got to her you must end it!



Second - Be sure you actually want to have a relationship before you get into one, too many people want to be single but end up in relationships and mess it all up because there is no loyalty.



Lastly if you find a good women do not fuck it up, some women will not forgive you for cheating and you might have to settle for less and always wonder how life could have been.
 
Also you must know when to be a man and put her in her place if needed, I laugh when I see pussy whipped men bow down all the time most women want a man to take control when it matters, but do not go too far with taking control only put your foot down when it is about something that matters to you.
 
AP21 said:
just a few things that i've learned on my journey thus far

Dont be above an apology. Apologies can really go a long way in mending difficult situations that occur throughout the relationship.
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Totally wholeheartedly agree with this!
 
Sometimes let ur partner be right even when they’re wrong

Be willing to explore your sexualities

Someone has to choose to be the strongest and at the same time the other was to know when to be the strongest

Laugh a lot, never say “you’ve told me this story before”..laugh like it’s the first time u heard it

Let your partner be who they are
 
You aint getting your way all the time

Selfishness has no place in a relationship

Its ok to disagree, even argue as long as it gets resolved in a civil manner

Dont tell ppl all yall business

Stfu and listen dont assume or project

Make the time

And no matter what keep fuckin
 
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