DEBATE Is perfect equality ever possible within a sexual relationship?

[LUCIEN]

Based on a lecture on Mackinnon that got me heated.

Short hand of the argument is this:

All heterosexual sex is based on power relations, where one gender is subordinated to the desires of the other. Heterosexual sex exists under a system of social organization where women are constantly meeting the needs of men, and almost always inadequately reciprocated (some studies find as many as 80% of women interviewed are not satisfied with their sex life; others find comparable rates of women who are unsatisfied with emotional aspects). For those thinkers, since heterosexual sex is always within that organization of society, it is always unequal.

Others have expanded on that and shown that it even occurs in gay relationships, both male and female.

So the question becomes: is equal sex ever possible? If yes, how and under what circumstances?

 

[Goldie]

80% of women are not satisfied? None of em speak up and say what they like in the bedroom?

 

[LUCIEN]

80% of women are not satisfied? None of em speak up and say what they like in the bedroom?

We just watched men ignore women telling them what they want on a damn internet forum, you think they're listening in the bedroom?

 

[mrtbd_]

I've seen dudes do some crazy stuff for sex...dudes have even gotten rich just to have more of it.

the problem with a lot of women I know personally is that they don't want to have to tell dudes how to satisfy them. Just like in other aspects of relationships, they expect the dude just to know.

2nd...women are more sexually complicated. I could give a dude a balloon, lotion, a plush wall, and 30 minutes in a dark room and he'd figure out a way to satisfy his needs. With women there's room temperature, weather outside, the size of the bed, room wallpaper color, smell of the atmosphere, planetary orbit routes on that particular day, etc.

and when you combine that with the fact that women think telling a dude how to satisfy them in particular is "teaching a grown man how to have sex" there's gonna be an imbalance in satisfaction.

 

[mrtbd_]

...and feedback given on the internet isn't the same as in person. Dudes aren't gonna take internet comments seriously...we hear a lot of shit on the internet that we never hear in person...so we naturally assume the people on the internet are the minority

 

[Anonymous]

80% of women are not satisfied? None of em speak up and say what they like in the bedroom?

NIG-GA...I was just gettin ready to say this same thing.

Closed mouths don't get fed. If you ain't speaking up and letting your partner know what you like or don't like...can only blame yourself.

Sex shouldn't have to be about satisfying the needs of one person. Folks need to stop actin timid around their s/o and speak up.

 

[ChicagoFigure]

If ur into that shit like bdsm, submitting, domination etc then yes.

But a partner constantly not being satisfied is simply selfishness, nothing more.

And this can happen to men too where the female is constantly withholding pussy or wont do certain things he asks for.

'Equal' sex or whatever theyre callin it is possible af. When 2 ppl want to please each other.

 

[IP360]

NIG-GA...I was just gettin ready to say this same thing.

Closed mouths don't get fed. If you ain't speaking up and letting your partner know what you like or don't like...can only blame yourself.

Sex shouldn't have to be about satisfying the needs of one person. Folks need to stop actin timid around their s/o and speak up.

Damn anon button

 

[IP360]

I've seen dudes do some crazy stuff for sex...dudes have even gotten rich just to have more of it.

the problem with a lot of women I know personally is that they don't want to have to tell dudes how to satisfy them. Just like in other aspects of relationships, they expect the dude just to know.

2nd...women are more sexually complicated. I could give a dude a balloon, lotion, a plush wall, and 30 minutes in a dark room and he'd figure out a way to satisfy his needs. With women there's room temperature, weather outside, the size of the bed, room wallpaper color, smell of the atmosphere, planetary orbit routes on that particular day, etc.

and when you combine that with the fact that women think telling a dude how to satisfy them in particular is "teaching a grown man how to have sex" there's gonna be an imbalance in satisfaction.

...and feedback given on the internet isn't the same as in person. Dudes aren't gonna take internet comments seriously...we hear a lot of shit on the internet that we never hear in person...so we naturally assume the people on the internet are the minority

1st and foremost...powerful posting

2nd...I swear the bolded is the truth. As if some feel all women are built the same way. Why complain about a brotha not hitting your spot, if you ain't een tell the muthafucca where it is? Or how he should go about gettin to it...how to work it...etc etc.

 

[Allergens]

Perfect equality isn't possible for anything.

 

[ChicagoFigure]

I dont think this is mostly about females not speaking up as it is about the type of dudes that dont care if a girl gets her nut or refuses to go down on her but want head every other day.

Its harder for girls to get a nut than it is for men. So men actually have to put in work n some jus dont give af to put in effort.

Trust and believe there are females with kids out here who dont know what an orgasm really feels like.

 

[LUCIEN]

I dont think this is mostly about females not speaking up as it is about the type of dudes that dont care if a girl gets her nut or refuses to go down on her but want head every other day.

Its harder for girls to get a nut than it is for men. So men actually have to put in work n some jus dont give af to put in effort.

Trust and believe there are females with kids out here who dont know what an orgasm really feels like.

This is true. Not all women are saying they are unsatisfied. Idk if I missed it in the course or if it was just never mentioned, but the difference between those relationships was never discussed, which is probably key.

What are those dudes/women doing that the others need to get hip to?

 

[LUCIEN]

Perfect equality isn't possible for anything.

Why not?

 

[Allergens]

Why not?

Everyone has a different idea of perfection

 

[ChicagoFigure]

This is true. Not all women are saying they are unsatisfied. Idk if I missed it in the course or if it was just never mentioned, but the difference between those relationships was never discussed, which is probably key.

What are those dudes/women doing that the others need to get hip to?

Imo desire to please your partner and females not using sex as leverage.

 

[LUCIEN]

Imo desire to please your partner and females not using sex as leverage.

Men weaponize sex, too

 

[LUCIEN]

Everyone has a different idea of perfection

That seems impossible. You think there are more than 7 billion different ideas of perfect sex?

 

[ChicagoFigure]

Men weaponize sex, too

True i shouldnt have made that gender specific

 

[Allergens]

That seems impossible. You think there are more than 7 billion different ideas of perfect sex?

I mean if you're even asking the question of sexual equality, then doesn't that seem plausible?

 

[LUCIEN]

I mean if you're even asking the question of sexual equality, then doesn't that seem plausible?

I disagree with Mackinnon entirely. I think supposing that all sex is identical just because it all exists under 1 shared circumstance is idiotic... But there is still a huge market for teaching women how to orgasm, which contradicts what I think and tells us there is truth to the views she influenced.