Welcome To aBlackWeb

Register

Is It Insecurity Or Not.....Vol 1

Ive seen this play out firsthand in 3 diff situations.

In only one of em did it end in marriage

But in all 3 was an eventual total fallout between the guys who were friends before the girl came into the picture usually set on by the guy who wanted the sloppy seconds.
 
I didn't say ya friends ex, just someone they smashed

Maybe more than once. No more than 5x
 
deadeye said:
It's just not the same when the other person they used to smash is a friend.......or even an associate for that matter.


It might not be that serious to you, but it wouldn't feel right to me.
Click to expand...

Naw, I feel you. I totally get it. I respect it. Most would say the same. But all you said here is that 'its just not the same' and that 'it wouldn't feel right'.

How is it not the same? How is it different? What specifically about the fact that you know them makes you unable to handle it. Describe this 'feeling' you're talking about. Serious questions.
 
mryounggun said:
Naw, I feel you. I totally get it. I respect it. Most would say the same. But all you said here is that 'its just not the same' and that 'it wouldn't feel right'.

How is it not the same? How is it different? What specifically about the fact that you know them makes you unable to handle it. Describe this 'feeling' you're talking about. Serious questions.
Click to expand...
I just know for me once a friend deals with somebody in any romantic capacity you become off limits in my mind. I dont even find you attractive anymore (if I ever did in the first place).
 
mryounggun said:
Naw, I feel you. I totally get it. I respect it. Most would say the same. But all you said here is that 'its just not the same' and that 'it wouldn't feel right'.

How is it not the same? How is it different? What specifically about the fact that you know them makes you unable to handle it. Describe this 'feeling' you're talking about. Serious questions.
Click to expand...


It's just not for me bruh.


There's just some lines you just don't cross.


And....for me....this is one of them.
 
ChicagoFigure said:
Ive seen this play out firsthand in 3 diff situations.

In only one of em did it end in marriage

But in all 3 was an eventual total fallout between the guys who were friends before the girl came into the picture usually set on by the guy who wanted the sloppy seconds.
Click to expand...


To me, it says just as much about the girl as it does the dude.


Meaning, why would she even consider dating one of her ex's friends?


Seems kinda foul to me.


Almost as if she's doing it to get back at or ex or provoke some kind of reaction out of him.
 
Last edited:
Tell you what though, dude who started "dating" his friend's ex better not get mad if his friend ends up smashing again during their relationship.


He'd do good to just chalk it up as a learning experience/teachable moment and move on.


Simply because he wouldn't have anyone to blame but himself for being in that situation to begin with.
 
Chicity said:
Do you think it's insecure if a person refuses to date someone they friend use to smash?
Click to expand...
We have a term in my circle of friends for this very situation.

No matter what you never want to be "great go behinder". Meaning you don't want or shouldn't want to be that guy who smashed behind the homie.
 
It's ego forreal.

I used to work with this dude, and me and him were cool af. Still are.

We not in the same circle no more cuz I kinda fell back after leaving the job and getting married n all that. But every time I saw this nigga it was all love. Last time I saw him might have been a couple years, but it was during that time when everybody was doing those freeze challenges. They did one at his house, an it was mad folk from the old job. So I went by when I got off work at 2am...

It was dumb late, most people left or was sleep, but it was still a bunch of them still up and chilling, so I hung out for like an hour before going home.


I said all that to say this. For a good while, his main girl was a chick I messed with maybe a year or two before they got together.

Was it akward at times? A little. But not enough for anyone to make an issue of it. I mean I never made an issue. And I don't think they did. I hope to God they didn't, cuz it really wasn't that serious.

The only way that's a problem with everyone acting mature is ego. Like I never felt any kind of way about homie wiring shorty up.... She was a damn good chick. Cute as hell, mad intelligent. All that.

Like me and homie was cool as shit, and I wouldn't fault him or any of my homies for scooping up a good chick like her.

But if they didn't, cuz they knew I messed with her a few times... That's on them. I understand. But it's ego.

The only reason it would ever be an issue is if the person in the relationship made it an issue because their ego created a conflict.

I think most normal people would never try to dump on two good people who want to be in a relationship.

That's considering both the chick you smashed and your boy are both good people.
 
Duwop said:
It's ego forreal.

I used to work with this dude, and me and him were cool af. Still are.

We not in the same circle no more cuz I kinda fell back after leaving the job and getting married n all that. But every time I saw this nigga it was all love. Last time I saw him might have been a couple years, but it was during that time when everybody was doing those freeze challenges. They did one at his house, an it was mad folk from the old job. So I went by when I got off work at 2am...

It was dumb late, most people left or was sleep, but it was still a bunch of them still up and chilling, so I hung out for like an hour before going home.


I said all that to say this. For a good while, his main girl was a chick I messed with maybe a year or two before they got together.

Was it akward at times? A little. But not enough for anyone to make an issue of it. I mean I never made an issue. And I don't think they did. I hope to God they didn't, cuz it really wasn't that serious.

The only way that's a problem with everyone acting mature is ego. Like I never felt any kind of way about homie wiring shorty up.... She was a damn good chick. Cute as hell, mad intelligent. All that.

Like me and homie was cool as shit, and I wouldn't fault him or any of my homies for scooping up a good chick like her.

But if they didn't, cuz they knew I messed with her a few times... That's on them. I understand. But it's ego.

The only reason it would ever be an issue is if the person in the relationship made it an issue because their ego created a conflict.

I think most normal people would never try to dump on two good people who want to be in a relationship.

That's considering both the chick you smashed and your boy are both good people.
Click to expand...

And this is kinda why I say it's usually insecurity. I feel like the root of all silly actions that niggas take because of ego stem from insecurity.
 
mryounggun said:
And this is kinda why I say it's usually insecurity. I feel like the root of all silly actions that niggas take because of ego stem from insecurity.
Click to expand...
I wouldn't call it insecurity.

Cuz I don't think it has anything to do with thinking the guy still has access to his woman....

I think it's the delusion that some how they're being mocked or played. And that's just ego IMO
 
Duwop said:
I wouldn't call it insecurity.

Cuz I don't think it has anything to do with thinking the guy still has access to his woman....

I think it's the delusion that some how they're being mocked or played. And that's just ego IMO
Click to expand...

But I don't mean that specific. There are other sorts of insecurity besides thinking someone else still has access to your woman. I mean ego in general. Like usually the people who have a huge ego and can't recognize it or reign it in are insecure with themselves in some sort of way.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top