COMMUNITY "Focus on me"

[1/2]

Aight so @Lea 's profile post and the dope song from H.E.R. has me wondering about how this actually applies.

Typically, it seems to be a request from women....but in today's era I think its safe to say a lot of men may not feel like the main focus to their partner at times.

This can be emotional, physical, or in general surrounding the whole relationship and there are several factors that could lead to someone feeling like they may not be the focus.

Can you blame someone with a taxing profession for not "focusing" on you?

Realistically, is it possible for the main focus of both partners to be each other? Have you seen this?

Ladies? whats some things that your s/o or men in general seem to overlook or leave unattended?

Fellas, what are some things that she or they seem to miss or not care about?

 

[1/2]

Example for the physical, which is something I personally dont think can go both ways simultaneously:

We get it in on a regular basis and both satisfied. But sometimes I want and request specific shit that is solely intended for MY pleasure, though it could be pleasurable for both parties. I also ask her what type of similar things she would like, that are just geared towards her.

This usually isnt a problem, but sometimes in those moments one or the other can forget that this particular act or session was about the other person and it can turn awkward or you just move along with it but you're kinda annoyed.

In this observation, I just dont think that people can completely focus on only the other person in that way (unless they're paid services).

And the same thing can apply to any aspect of it.

 

[DOS_patos]

i think both people need to understand what the relationship is as a whole.
if someone is growing in their career...it can take a toll on the focus of the other person...but the person has to understand what it is.
you must allow your partner to be great and just support it the best you can. and at times that may not be directly beneficial to you but its good to support their dreams and goals. it will come back in a different way.

we are all human and like to think we have their undivided attention...but its not realistic to put that burden on them to be 100% at all times.

just support your mate and schedule down time and reconnecting time.

 

[B_A]

I'm not compatible with emotionally needy people or people who require lots of focus. If you cant self appreciate yourself shit aint gonna work and I'll be gone with quickness.

 

[1/2]

I'm not compatible with emotionally needy people or people who require lots of focus. If you cant self appreciate yourself shit aint gonna work and I'll be gone with quickness.

im like this but in a terribly hypocritical way

I want her to be super confident and self loving, but im down on myself a lot and need to be boosted back up

I'll literally ask for you to lie to me in the future just to stroke the ego lol

 

[Remy_LeGermz]

Subconsciously we seek out others that have the same self esteem level as us. Everyone needs affection and attention at some point, otherwise why be in a relationship all together? Just for access to easily accessible sex?

Usually if you are "with" someone who is super needy, it's because on some level you want to be needed. And that is where both of your self esteem levels match up. That person with a low sense of self acceptance, and you with a low sense of self assertiveness.

But that's not to say your self esteem doesn't Excell in other areas. I was reading a book, in the book it pose the question. If you put self esteem on a level of 1-10. And a person who was the boss at a job had a self esteem level of 5. Are they more likely to higher someone who has a self esteem level of 8 or a self esteem level of 3.

More often than not, those with low self esteem don't want someone greater than themselves, because they have a need to want, or be wanted.

 

[B_A]

im like this but in a terribly hypocritical way

I want her to be super confident and self loving, but im down on myself a lot and need to be boosted back up

I'll literally ask for you to lie to me in the future just to stroke the ego lol

I find stroking egos or people trying to strike mine a disgusting display of weakness, huge turn off.

 

[Lea]

I don't think her song was about being needy but having a mate that's not giving her any attention...paying attention to everything but H.E.R.

To be alone with your guy and you still feel alone? He's slacking.

 

[DOS_patos]

im like this but in a terribly hypocritical way

I want her to be super confident and self loving, but im down on myself a lot and need to be boosted back up

I'll literally ask for you to lie to me in the future just to stroke the ego lol

just sounds like something is unsettled in your mental.
something that makes you feel unworthy.....positive words of affirmation is something you can tell yourself daily if that can help.
little post its on a mirror or a daily quote...can do wonders.

 

[B_A]

Like if you have personal issues like we all got thats fine. But I personally cant fluff up your ego to make you feel better. I dont fish for ego boosters bcuz i am acutely aware it is only my perception and no amount of strokes will change that view. Its something that must be corrected within my own self. I however can help you dig to the bottom of your shit and figure it out.

Ego fluffing/requesting is also a huge energy drain. And I'm too fuckin lazy for that type of effort.

 

[Meeks]

It seems like from her song he just didn’t do shit, like at all. Nigga was always in his phone, never did shit around the house lol. He spent more time focusing on other shit and overlooked what she needed from him overall.

At least that’s what I got from it.

 

[DOS_patos]

Like if you have personal issues like we all got thats fine. But I personally cant fluff up your ego to make you feel better. I dont fish for ego boosters bcuz i am acutely aware it is only my perception and no amount of strokes will change that view. Its something that must be corrected within my own self. I however can help you dig to the bottom of your shit and figure it out.

Ego fluffing/requesting is also a huge energy drain. And I'm too fuckin lazy for that type of effort.

do you ever let a dude know he hitting it right?
or do you just get up silent and wash up?

 

[1/2]

I find stroking egos or people trying to strike mine a disgusting display of weakness, huge turn off.

nah, i know this lol....that in itself probably makes me self conscious about the shit

there's also levels to it....i dont need to be called daddy or for someone to "let" me lead for optics

I just like to know that you're into me.....like, i do it for you lol

idk, i've never wanted to be just ok or convenient for anyone....so i try to remain in that space that made you want me to begin with







that shit is kinda weak tho lol

 

[1/2]

I don't think her song was about being needy but having a mate that's not giving her any attention...paying attention to everything but H.E.R.

To be alone with your guy and you still feel alone? He's slacking.

It seems like from her song he just didn’t do shit, like at all. Nigga was always in his phone, never did shit around the house lol. He spent more time focusing on other shit and overlooked what she needed from him overall.

At least that’s what I got from it.

yeah i wasnt so much adhering to the lyrics or story in the song, but good points

in that sense, yeah that person aint shit and I dont think anyone would go for that very long

you got people like that, that wanna keep a thumb on you but aint really into you.....just wanna hold you up until they figure out the next move and shit smh

 

[DOS_patos]

nah, i know this lol....that in itself probably makes me self conscious about the shit

there's also levels to it....i dont need to be called daddy or for someone to "let" me lead for optics

I just like to know that you're into me.....like, i do it for you lol

idk, i've never wanted to be just ok or convenient for anyone....so i try to remain in that space that made you want me to begin with







that shit is kinda weak tho lol

no it aint....you make alot of sense.

 

[Love]

I need my attention from my man or I get turned off. If he works a lot he still has to fit me in somehow and vice versa. I feel like the I’m too busy excuse is a cop out and he has lost interest and doesn’t know how to tell me.

 

[1/2]

I need my attention from my man or I get turned off. If he works a lot he still has to fit me in somehow and vice versa. I feel like the I’m too busy excuse is a cop out and he has lost interest and doesn’t know how to tell me.

are you demanding this attention from across the room, or are you giving this level of attention and expecting it in return?

 

[Love]

are you demanding this attention from across the room, or are you giving this level of attention and expecting it in return?

I give it and expect it or I feel like he isn’t feeling me

 

[1/2]

I give it and expect it or I feel like he isn’t feeling me

nothing wrong with that

 

[B_A]

do you ever let a dude know he hitting it right?
or do you just get up silent and wash up?

Lmao of course. But if its something he repetitively asks trying to get his ego stroked or lifted it will eventually disgust me.