Do Black Men Have An Obligation To Mentor Young Black Boys?

[Duwop]

Lotta dudes ain't qualified to be mentors nor are they responsible enough with their time management to take on that kinda responsibility.

I essentially have 3 kids now.... I would be doing a child a disservice to take on a mentee. Because someone is getting slighted. Either my wife is getting neglected, my kids, or my time at home. Or most likely the kid I'm supposed to be mentoring

We don't live in an ideal world, so every optimistic notion isn't always realistic. If you have the time, resources and energy, go for it. But if you don't have the room on your plate, don't feel guilty due to an obligation that's not inherently yours

 

[Shenco]

Dang it, I saw that video earlier this week and was gonna make this thread but couldn't think of a thread title! Curse you @BlackRain !

Curse you to Hell!

With that said, Umar was right about them being on that individualism instead of being for the community. You don't gotta "Play stepdaddy" for a woman who chose a "pookie or ray ray" just to look out for the young ninjas around your neighborhood. Red pill cats too busy trying not to look like a "simp" that they don't realize they on the other side of the same coin as the feminism they believe destroyed the community.

 

[BlackRain]

Lotta dudes ain't qualified to be mentors nor are they responsible enough with their time management to take on that kinda responsibility.

I essentially have 3 kids now.... I would be doing a child a disservice to take on a mentee. Because someone is getting slighted. Either my wife is getting neglected, my kids, or my time at home. Or most likely the kid I'm supposed to be mentoring

We don't live in an ideal world, so every optimistic notion isn't always realistic. If you have the time and energy, go for it. But if you don't have the room on your plate, don't feel guilty due to an obligation that's not inherently yours

Completely agree with that. Not everyone can or should be a mentor. And in a case like yours time is a huge factor. Only thing is though is that a good portion of those who were against it weren't using time management as a reason to not do it.

 

[Duwop]

Lol aren’t you a teacher tho that’s your job or part of it

This also goes to my point.
I spend a lot of time at my kids school.

A lotta those men who think they making a difference shouldn't even be around kids.

I've been bouncing 20 years and I wouldn't break up a fight between two grown ass drunk men the way some of those dudes do.

I wouldn't talk to children the way do. And it bothers me that this is the example they see. I do my best to be visual and help out as much as I can, but alotta these functional adults just as off as the kids. It's a sad cycle to be honest. It's niggaz in the school rocking more jewelry and designer shit than niggaz on the corner... But they feel they showing them a better way. It's niggaz in the schools fucking these little girls, but they supposed to be the example. Like shit wild when you get to the surface level instead of just brainstorming.

 

[Shenco]

My question is...when do these fatherless kids become our responsibility and we start caring? Before or after they grow up to rob and/or shoot/kill you or someone you love?

 

[Duwop]

Also,

Hate to keep going on rants. But because I have two middle schoolers now a bit and a girl, I see this shit so much. And a lotta society has this projected programmed notion that all these boys need is a good male role model.

I'm sitting there talking to a school nigga about MY SON.... We're specifically talking about my son.... And I guess he got caught up in the routine convo and started hitting the usual speaking points talking about boys not having a positive male role model in the home.

I'm like .. nigga.... I'm positive as fuck! I get up and work every day, even on my days off. I love and show affection to all my kids, and my wife. I keep them safe. I encourage their interests. I keep them busy with household maintenance and explain the value of it. I'm constantly giving that kid everything a "passive male role model" can give

Everything that sounds good, ain't always it. Like again if you can do it.... Do it... But don't feel obligated if you stretched thin... Cuz the end result ain't always some feel good TV shit

 

[Duwop]

My question is...when do these fatherless kids become our responsibility and we start caring? Before or after they grow up to rob and/or shoot/kill you or someone you love?

What about the ones with fathers who do the same shit?

 

[Duwop]

Like I ain't against the shit. But it's not as cut and dry and Umar making it out to seem. Everybody ain't got it in them to make the kinda impact for it to be an obligation amongst all black men. Some of them niggaz need help too

 

[Shenco]

What about the ones with fathers who do the same shit?

That's not what the topic at hand is about, but they're our responsibility too. What's so hard about looking out for the young homie if you see they may be going down the wrong path whether they have a father in they life or not? Dad can't be home all day. Thats what community is about

 

[Duwop]

That's not what the topic at hand is about, but they're our responsibility too. What's so hard about looking out for the young homie if you see they may be going down the wrong path whether they have a father in they life or not? Dad can't be home all day. Thats what community is about

I'm not knocking community, I'm knocking the arrogance of every nigga thinking he can save somebody.. many these niggaz ain't in the position to save themselves and would do more damage than help.

This is a tread carefully type of subject not the "I am the answer" type of void filling. Not only do you have to be able to connect, you have to be consistent. More emphasis should be on self reflection. Bcuz if you doing the right thing you'll naturally attract young men who want better for themselves.

I can't tell you how many times people pull me up to thank me for being a positive influence just by being me. That forced effort shit often creates some wild dynamics that people aren't even taking into consideration. If you a positive influence, you're a positive influence whether or not you take on a mentee.

But if you ain't leading the kinds life where people look to you for guidance, encouragement, or support.... Work on yourself first kid

 

[Duwop]

No offense, but niggaz like Don dada will see something like this and show up at a rec center spitting Nas I can thinking he saving lives.... Like be careful with this line of dialogue

 

[Shenco]

I'm not knocking community, I'm knocking the arrogance of every nigga thinking he can save somebody.. many these niggaz ain't in the position to save themselves and would do more damage than help.

This is a tread carefully type of subject not the "I am the answer" type of void filling. Not only do you have to be able to connect, you have to be consistent. More emphasis should be on self reflection. Bcuz if you doing the right thing you'll naturally attract young men who want better for themselves.

I can't tell you how many times people pull me up to thank me for being a positive influence just by being me. That forced effort shit often creates some wild dynamics that people aren't even taking into consideration. If you a positive influence, you're a positive influence whether or not you take on a mentee.

But if you ain't leading the kinds life where people look to you for guidance, encouragement, or support.... Work on yourself first kid

I love ya Du, but I ain’t reading all that right now lol I agree with you that not everyone should be a mentor or that all these kids problems isn’t just needing a role model. My thing is that shouldn’t stop the good dudes in the neighborhood from at least trying

 

[RandomNegro]

In a perfect world, young black males and young black females should be able to look towards black men who know certain things so they can be put on to information thar can help them. In the op, the Twitter post turned into something else because the conversation wasn’t a cut and dry should black men help the youth.

There was also some conversations about the quality of men women decide to have children with. Which brought about men being against mentoring children, which is understandable. It’s only so much I can help a child, if her mom is increasing the chances for him to fail. What you start to see more and more in the black Twittersphere, is how much BW have contempt for BM and how the different conversations clash. You can’t tell BM you don’t need them and stress independence, but then when you realize you need them, you have an arrogance and flippant attitude towards them helping you. Many of these conversations fall apart because women want the men they don’t want to be left with the burden of helping to raise children with women who are basically aiming to strip a level of autonomy from them.

Rec centers are nice. Clothing drives are nice. However we need a much stronger emphasis on family. Why you laying down with men who aren’t going to be suitable fathers?

Again these convos go nowhere because it’s a two way street discussion being held down a one way, and it’s usually a dead end. Mentorship isn’t the fix. Men been mentors. Men been doing it.

If you talk a kid out of fighting? If you see a kid about to rob someone and you slide them some advice? If you give a kid some money so he can get home and get some food? You think BM don’t do it? Again we have one sided talks and once we can have an honest conversation, we can move forward

 

[Shenco]

Here’s more of the convo

 

[Duwop]

I love ya Du, but I ain’t reading all that right now lol I agree with you that not everyone should be a mentor or that all these kids problems isn’t just needing a role model. My thing is that shouldn’t stop the good dudes in the neighborhood from at least trying

My thing is you don't gotta try if it's in you.

 

[Shenco]

My thing is you don't gotta try if it's in you.

Leaders aren’t born, they’re made ~ Vince Lombardi

How do you know if it’s in you or not, if you don’t try?

 

[Duwop]

Leaders aren’t born, they’re made ~ Vince Lombardi

How do you know if it’s in you or not, if you don’t try?

We talking about black people

 

[Swabbie]

Glad to see these responses because if you click the tweet you can see the discussion devolved into a bunch of loser ass dudes saying "I'm not playing step dad to a woman's bad choice in men"...and it was wild as hell to see the same people who often say community efforts are needed while being 100% against being part of that community and boiling the discussion solely down to dating when it's much deeper

It's perfectly reasonable to not want to date or play stepdaddy in this situation, you aren't a loser for that? Or maybe I'm misunderstanding something here. Mentoring does not equate to you stepping in as a father. We can help as part of a community.

I think you have to approach this from the angle of community, you cannot approach this as if it's the fault of black men as a whole. It's not. Yes, some of these ladies are procreating with fuck niggas. That's just a fact, I know it's not PC or whatever but it's true. That's not the fault of the brotha who went off, did his thing and created better for himself.

People are quick to tune you out when you start off with something that feels like an accusation or denigration of their character. People are not convinced through nuanced intellectualism, they are convinced emotionally. Starting this conversation off with "it's the fault of black men" ain't going to work because that provokes a defensive emotional reaction. Starting this off as a conversation about community and our collective responsibility for one another is the way to go imo.

 

[BlackRain]

It's perfectly reasonable to not want to date or play stepdaddy in this situation, you aren't a loser for that? Or maybe I'm misunderstanding something here. Mentoring does not equate to you stepping in as a father. We can help as part of a community.

I think you have to approach this from the angle of community, you cannot approach this as if it's the fault of black men as a whole. It's not. Yes, some of these ladies are procreating with fuck niggas. That's just a fact, I know it's not PC or whatever but it's true. That's not the fault of the brotha who went off, did his thing and created better for himself.

People are quick to tune you out when you start off with something that feels like an accusation or denigration of their character. People are not convinced through nuanced intellectualism, they are convinced emotionally. Starting this conversation off with "it's the fault of black men" ain't going to work because that provokes a defensive emotional reaction. Starting this off as a conversation about community and our collective responsibility for one another is the way to go imo.

No you're not missing anything. What you said is correct but some would say any form of mentoring is taking a father figure role which is ridculous. I agree that it's a community issue about collective responsibility but alot of people don't believe in collective responsibility. It's individualism 1st and foremost and that's reflected in many of the ways things are now. Also people wanting to punish the community as a whole for the mistakes of a few is a big problem too

 

[Bobjones]

That's another problem. Not all mentorship is created equal. There's men who think they're acting with good intentions but are really just creating more problems.

That's where those with a sincere, considered, rational approach need to step up and drown these clowns out.

But, let's assume some of us on this board are qualified for the role. What percent are willing or able to actually step up to the plate? Probably not many? For valid reasons.

If it's not lack of time, then it's acknowledging how exceedingly difficult it is to change people's ways.

If you feel like it's best to tackle the problems when youth are younger and more impressionable, you might just find urself a one man current against a tidal wave of horrors coming from neglectful parents, wrong crowds, ineffectual schooling, toxic media, financial insecurity, mental health, etc.

Plus, I think assuming a mentorship role takes a kind of grand, noble, selfless character that's hard for the average person to live up to, even if we wish we could. I wish I was a lot things, but I'm not very ambitious or disciplined. Maybe some of u can relate to deficiencies of character u wish you didn't have ?

This is what I mean when I say ppl need their own mentoring and need to do their own soul searching and research. Go out in the real world, pick up some books, learn about people, about community, about struggle. Hopefully you'll be closer to finding yourself and appreciating the significance of community. again though, how many of us are willing to do this, or are introspective enough to think about how we might benefit?

Ultimately, we shouldn't think we have to go at mentoring others alone. Probably the best way to do it is through organization. We've got power in numbers and we should use it. It often starts with one or a few special, smart, charismatic people who have the ability to bring others along the righteous path. But altogether, mentorship on our part has to work in tandem with other more fundamental societal changes to be most effectual.