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Could Your Relationship Survive This?

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BlackRain

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Was watching an old DL Hughley interview and heard him say this. “How come when people do stuff like this they’re always above reproach, nobody ever believes them, and there’s always a lot of victims? And the reason it hits home for me is because my youngest daughter came to me and said something happened to her and because it was somebody I liked, I didn’t believe her. I will never get that back. I’m supposed to protect her and I’ll never get that back that she told her father something and he didn’t do nothing about it because it was inconvenient." and I couldn't imagine how some shit like that would affect not only your relationship with your child, but also your spouse. Could you ever look at your spouse the same if they did that?

Edit:The convo in the other thread about reasons why children don't come forward about abuse is what made this statement stand out rewatching the interview

I time stamped it in the video if you want to actually hear him say it
 
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Short answer: No. Maybe my dynamic is differen. tBut regardless of who it is, friends, family, etc., if my kids comes to either of us and brings up a concern, we take it very serious. No judgement and I respect DL's honesty. I am suprised that eas his reaction. tho
 
I couldn’t. I don’t have kids, but when I do have them, I will do everything in my power to protect them. If they come to me and tell me someone harmed them, then I’m going to go get that person. I expect the same out of my Wife, anything less, and I can’t respect you. If I can’t respect you, I can’t build with you.
 
Your first priority as a parent is the protection of your kids. Everything else is secondary, including attachments and relationships.

If you ain’t gonna give your little one the benefit of the doubt then who you gonna give it to?
 
Lord Nemesis said:
Your first priority as a parent is the protection of your kids. Everything else is secondary, including attachments and relationships.

If you ain’t gonna give your little one the benefit of the doubt then who you gonna give it to?
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Or who else would?
 
This is a prime example why people don’t talk about abuse like you mentioned. Especially if the abuser is a family member or close friend. Your child should be protected at all cost and even if turns out to be a lie, you still did what you’re supposed to do as a parent and it should be understood and then cleared up.
 
Loquacious said:
This is a prime example why people don’t talk about abuse like you mentioned. Especially if the abuser is a family member or close friend. Your child should be protected at all cost and even if turns out to be a lie, you still did what you’re supposed to do as a parent and it should be understood and then cleared up.
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As a person certain things are understood and the reaction to those things are understood by most.

Certain things also can't be cleared up. Speaking just for myself. I can understand and respect parents confronting people because of what their child said. Also ain't nothing that can clear that up if the child lied.

As a parent you have to believe your child and you have to understand that relationship based off that lie and correct confrontation is now gone forever. The person who was lied on now knows that you "THINK" they could do something like that to a child and they now know that your child will tell a vicious lie that has deathly consequences depending on how those people going about their kids.

Can't be around those people ever again. The parent wasn't wrong for how they went about what was told to them and the other person ain't wrong for never dealing with those people again after its found out to be a lie.
 
DMorgan said:
As a person certain things are understood and the reaction to those things are understood by most.

Certain things also can't be cleared up. Speaking just for myself. I can understand and respect parents confronting people because of what their child said. Also ain't nothing that can clear that up if the child lied.

As a parent you have to believe your child and you have to understand that relationship based off that lie and correct confrontation is now gone forever. The person who was lied on now knows that you "THINK" they could do something like that to a child and they now know that your child will tell a vicious lie that has deathly consequences depending on how those people going about their kids.

Can't be around those people ever again. The parent wasn't wrong for how they went about what was told to them and the other person ain't wrong for never dealing with those people again after its found out to be a lie.
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Well then that’s just going to have to be a relationship lost. The protection of my child comes first and that’s how I will move. If it turns out to be a lie, I’ll handle it the best way possible and if the relationship can’t be salvaged, it is what it is.
 
Loquacious said:
Well then that’s just going to have to be a relationship lost. The protection of my child comes first and that’s how I will move. If it turns out to be a lie, I’ll handle it the best way possible and if the relationship can’t be salvaged, it is what it is.
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Exactly
 
AZTG said:
I rather trust my kid and be wrong than trust my friend and be wrong
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Exactly because in that moment I’m not thinking “what if this is a lie” or “this is gonna hurt my relationship with them”...nah.

Now personally, I’m not gonna go up to the accused and blast their brains out. Not saying other people won’t. With me they’ll have a chance to state their case and we can get it cracking after that. If it does end up physical or deadly, I did what I was supposed to do as a parent and I won’t feel bad about that. However if it’s a lie and I did some harm, yea I will eventually feel bad but hell I did what I had to do. I just gotta face the repercussions.
 
Loquacious said:
Exactly because in that moment I’m not thinking “what if this is a lie” or “this is gonna hurt my relationship with them”...nah.

Now personally, I’m not gonna go up to the accused and blast their brains out. Not saying other people won’t. With me they’ll have a chance to state their case and we can get it cracking after that. If it does end up physical or deadly, I did what I was supposed to do as a parent and I won’t feel bad about that. However if it’s a lie and I did some harm, yea I will eventually feel bad but hell I did what I had to do. I just gotta face the repercussions.
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Honestly what is there to said or case stated?

You're trusting, believing and protecting your child. With that said in that situation ain't shit that can be said by the accused person.
 
AZTG said:
I rather trust my kid and be wrong than trust my friend and be wrong
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Cuz if it turns out to be a misunderstanding, you real homie will get it. 'I know we been down since third grade and this, and it sounded unlikely...but this is my KID, my nigga.'.

A real one is gonna give you a dap and move on. But if trust your friend and are wrong, might not be no coming back for you and your kid. Even if they do forgive you, you won't forgive yourself.
 
Loquacious said:
Exactly because in that moment I’m not thinking “what if this is a lie” or “this is gonna hurt my relationship with them”...nah.

Now personally, I’m not gonna go up to the accused and blast their brains out. Not saying other people won’t. With me they’ll have a chance to state their case and we can get it cracking after that. If it does end up physical or deadly, I did what I was supposed to do as a parent and I won’t feel bad about that. However if it’s a lie and I did some harm, yea I will eventually feel bad but hell I did what I had to do. I just gotta face the repercussions.
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I would have to be miles away to confront the person or confront them through someone else cause it would be impossible not to explode in violence.

Depeending on how bad the abuse might have been, i might go out looking to hurt the mfer.

But overall, i would be totally cool ending my relationship with a friend/family member over a lie my kid told. Im gonna be mad when i find out my kid lied and apologize to the person, but im totally cool with throwing my best friendships away over something like this, and if my kid was lying, fuck it.

Cant take a risk on something like abuse with my kid though
 
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mryounggun said:
Cuz if it turns out to be a misunderstanding, you real homie will get it. 'I know we been down since third grade and this, and it sounded unlikely...but this is my KID, my nigga.'.

A real one is gonna give you a dap and move on. But if trust your friend and are wrong, might not be no coming back for you and your kid. Even if they do forgive you, you won't forgive yourself.
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What you mean by "move on"? Move on as in the relationship over or move on from the situation and shit is cool again.
 
mryounggun said:
Cuz if it turns out to be a misunderstanding, you real homie will get it. 'I know we been down since third grade and this, and it sounded unlikely...but this is my KID, my nigga.'.

A real one is gonna give you a dap and move on. But if trust your friend and are wrong, might not be no coming back for you and your kid. Even if they do forgive you, you won't forgive yourself.
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Thats what I would like to think.

Personally, id understand why my homie did that and thats what I would expect homie to do.

But when the truth comes out, and my name gets cleared, id accept the homies apology, but i probably cant go back around him and his fam after the shit that was said and the fall out.

It wont ever be no beef or anything but if i get wrongly accused of sexually abusing a child, we aint never going back to being friends even after my name is cleared and mfers apologize.

I would still believe my kid 11 out of 10 times even knowing this cause a friendship when it comes to my job protecting my kid.
 
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people keep referring to "friends" as relationships they could give up easily when it comes to protecting their child

but what about close relatives?

what about your brother, your uncle, or dare say your aunt, sister, or even your mom possibly did some fucked up shit?

you just cutting back your own fam like that?

sexual abusers tend to be close in relation to the actual child victims

not so easy to just cut off your own flesh and blood you grew up with right??
 
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