OPINION (Black) Kids and Roasting/Teasing - Beneficial or Damaging?

[The Lonious Monk]

yeah man...that shit had a hand in building a lot of us and preparing us for the world

still seems isolated tho....like we prepared for a world and reality that only we live in

how can it be so beneficial for us to get by, but not be required or even regarded by anyone else that does just fine out here?

Yeah it's crazy. I do think we're the only ones that really go through that coming up, but at the same time, with all the shit this country gives us, we're the ones that need to go through that coming up.

 

[1/2]

Ok, so let's flip it then:

What world and reality are they prepared for?

When you hit adulthood, it's assumed you know what to do and how to navigate the world in front of you without much in the way of help. At least that's how it was when I hit 18. No cheering section, no positive affirmation for doing what I was supposed to do as an adult, no none of that. So you now have these kids coming up that are used to having people constantly pushing them with positive affirmation for everything and that's suddenly gone. No one congratulates you for showing up to work on time, no one to give you accolades for doing what you're supposed to do, no cheering section telling you that you can do it when you fail.

So who's really ready for the world? Us or them? I've never expected praise for showing up on time and every time I failed I dusted myself off and tried again without needing someone to tell me I could do it; I just did it.

what are you talking about? lol

my white friends that were sheltered and guided and got the plan mapped out for them are doing great right now

do you need thick skin from constantly being told you aint worth shit for a banking career? to be an insurance adjuster or land surveyor?

im not saying nobody else takes losses or has hard times....there's just no need to train for it lol

WE might have been preparing US, for US.....

since I've been an adult and parent, more specifically since i've been away from the hood....NOBODY gives a shit about what I wear or how I walk or if I can play ball and fight or not

the majority of all that bullshit just simply doesnt matter outside of that box.....but it was like priority #1 coming up

 

[T. Sanford]

It can be both depends on the person though. We all was on the receiving end of that gun at least one time in our life. Going through that growing pain is the reason why I earn my stripes and became respected in school.

 

[NeighborhoodNomad]

That encouragement was beautiful.

Didn't the dozens originate in slavery on the auction blocks? That can't be good. (as a matter of fact what are some good things that we do today that originated in slavery? I can't think of any but that's another thread)

At the end of the day roasting and teasing amongst friends and loved ones is a part of life but it definitely doesn't build character like encouragement does.

But I do think it's healthy to be able to laugh at yourself sometimes.

 

[TonyDubbz]

Its beneficial, makes you tough. At the same time you gotta know when enough is enough.

 

[NeighborhoodNomad]

Its beneficial, makes you tough. At the same time you gotta know when enough is enough.

Michael Jackson was a great example of being negatively affected by teasing. He was constantly teased by his brothers who love him and meant him no harm but it still scarred him for life. It didn't make him tougher.

 

[konceptjones]

what are you talking about? lol

my white friends that were sheltered and guided and got the plan mapped out for them are doing great right now

do you need thick skin from constantly being told you aint worth shit for a banking career? to be an insurance adjuster or land surveyor?

im not saying nobody else takes losses or has hard times....there's just no need to train for it lol

WE might have been preparing US, for US.....

since I've been an adult and parent, more specifically since i've been away from the hood....NOBODY gives a shit about what I wear or how I walk or if I can play ball and fight or not

the majority of all that bullshit just simply doesnt matter outside of that box.....but it was like priority #1 coming up

you said this:

still seems isolated tho....like we prepared for a world and reality that only we live in

These cats nowadays simply can't handle the world as it really is; they ain't built for it. Those same white friends of yours... Let them hit hard times and see how they buckle under the pressure while we keep on moving. Them dudes that kill their whole families 'cause they lost a job were likely like your white friends. They can't cope with adversity, can't handle trying your best but still not getting there.

All it will take is a layoff.

We get laid off and we take it in stride. We adjust our lifestyle, get rid of unnecessary expenses, and keep it moving. We got hustles we can do until that next job comes or turn the hustle into a lil business.

They get them papers and they live off credit cards and shit to maintain a lifestyle, and when it runs out they don't know what to do 'cause they weren't raised to push past adversity.

And all of that starts with how we crash on one another as kids.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

Michael Jackson was a great example of being negatively affected by teasing. He was constantly teased by his brothers who love him and meant him no harm but it still scarred him for life. It didn't make him tougher.

That's different though. Of course teasing can go over the top and that is bad. MJ had insecurities about certain things. His family members locked onto that and basically tortured him incessantly. He couldn't escape because he was getting that treatment at home. I don't think anyone is saying that teasing to that extent is ok. However, going back to the OP, laughing at a kid who fails spectacularly while also encouraging them to try again and get it done, can be motivational too. As others have said, we all react differently. If I was in that situation, I don't think I'd like having the class cheer me on like that because to me that's almost a pity thing. On the other hand I could certainly see one of my homeboys laughing at me like "Damn, you gonna go out like that? You better break that board with ya weak ass." And you better believe after he says some shit like that, I'm not walking away til that board gets broken.

So I guess at the end of the day, you just have to read who you're dealing with and act accordingly.

 

[JUDAH]

Nah...kids just soft today.

Miggas been literally been doing this for YEARS...

 

[NeighborhoodNomad]

That's different though. Of course teasing can go over the top and that is bad. MJ had insecurities about certain things. His family members locked onto that and basically tortured him incessantly. He couldn't escape because he was getting that treatment at home. I don't think anyone is saying that teasing to that extent is ok. However, going back to the OP, laughing at a kid who fails spectacularly while also encouraging them to try again and get it done, can be motivational too. As others have said, we all react differently. If I was in that situation, I don't think I'd like having the class cheer me on like that because to me that's almost a pity thing. On the other hand I could certainly see one of my homeboys laughing at me like "Damn, you gonna go out like that? You better break that board with ya weak ass." And you better believe after he says some shit like that, I'm not walking away til that board gets broken.

So I guess at the end of the day, you just have to read who you're dealing with and act accordingly.

I hear you and I agree that we are all different and react differently to different situations but bro those kids didn't look any older than 5. In the context of the clip, if they started roasting that little boy it probably would have done more damage than good.

For me most of that roasting started in late elementary/early Jr high. At that age you more than likely know that they're just jokes and can take it and even dish it back but I would say that any child under 10yrs old being clowned and roasted by their peers or anyone for that matter would have more long term lasting negative effects than someone who was being encouraged like the little boy in this clip.

 

[DOS_patos]

Don't shit bother me except fat people.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

I hear you and I agree that we are all different and react differently to different situations but bro those kids didn't look any older than 5. In the context of the clip, if they started roasting that little boy it probably would have done more damage than good.

For me most of that roasting started in late elementary/early Jr high. At that age you more than likely know that they're just jokes and can take it and even dish it back but I would say that any child under 10yrs old being clowned and roasted by their peers or anyone for that matter would have more long term lasting negative effects than someone who was being encouraged like the little boy in this clip.

I agree. Like I said before, I don't really have any problem with what happened in the video. I was objecting more to the sentiment expressed in the tweet.

 

[Inori]

I don't think laughing at or roasting the kid while he was trying to break the board would have beneficial. That show of support he got after they cheered him on and he finally broke it was dope.

Aint nothin wrong with clowning his ass after the fact tho.. lmao best of both worlds.. you there for your homie when they need some encouragement... but can still roast them about it after the fact and its still all love and nothing malicious

 

[1/2]

you said this:



These cats nowadays simply can't handle the world as it really is; they ain't built for it. Those same white friends of yours... Let them hit hard times and see how they buckle under the pressure while we keep on moving. Them dudes that kill their whole families 'cause they lost a job were likely like your white friends. They can't cope with adversity, can't handle trying your best but still not getting there.

All it will take is a layoff.

We get laid off and we take it in stride. We adjust our lifestyle, get rid of unnecessary expenses, and keep it moving. We got hustles we can do until that next job comes or turn the hustle into a lil business.

They get them papers and they live off credit cards and shit to maintain a lifestyle, and when it runs out they don't know what to do 'cause they weren't raised to push past adversity.

And all of that starts with how we crash on one another as kids.

aight so I hear you...and while I agree that our struggles better prepare us for hardships down the road, I feel like its the experience of the hardship itself that you learn and grow from

if I lost my house today I'd be fine because I've been in that boat before, not because somebody gave me a hard time about my clothes

i mean shit is hard enough without that.....I think we've all agreed there's just levels to it and the response is going to vary by the person

outside of friends that know each other cracking jokes, the shit didnt have to be so consuming....i wont speak for nobody else but that shit didnt help me grow or conquer fears or nothing useful just made me greedy, self conscious and spiteful

the Atlanta "Fubu" episode spoke to a lot of people on this...of course it couldnt go deep but I was glad it even came up

 

[DOS_patos]

It's the support that guides the child to what's right.

 

[konceptjones]

aight so I hear you...and while I agree that our struggles better prepare us for hardships down the road, I feel like its the experience of the hardship itself that you learn and grow from

if I lost my house today I'd be fine because I've been in that boat before, not because somebody gave me a hard time about my clothes

i mean shit is hard enough without that.....I think we've all agreed there's just levels to it and the response is going to vary by the person

outside of friends that know each other cracking jokes, the shit didnt have to be so consuming....i wont speak for nobody else but that shit didnt help me grow or conquer fears or nothing useful just made me greedy, self conscious and spiteful

the Atlanta "Fubu" episode spoke to a lot of people on this...of course it couldnt go deep but I was glad it even came up

What I'm getting at is that our thick skin and ability to handle adversity starts with crashing on one another; everything else follows that. It's a part of growing up as it seems in our community, to the point where we don't even think about and just do it to one another. But challenging one another in this manner helps us in ways that an overload of positive affirmation could never do.

 

[IP360]

Builds character and thick skin even tho some niggas are still bitchmade like @Hellczar.

Nigga is just a fuck nigga with a fuck nigga guantlet and all the bitch nigga stones.

Even with all that he still half a pussy.

 

[IP360]

Me and my homies always cracked on each other. I'd get cracked on the most tho. Shyt made me thick skinned.

Nowadays if I'm cracked on...I'm quick to crack back, or brush it off.

 

[VulcanRaven]

There is no benefit to anything negative but friends joking is a shared understanding.

 

[konceptjones]

There is no benefit to anything negative but friends joking is a shared understanding.

there's benefit to everything, good or bad.