OPINION (Black) Kids and Roasting/Teasing - Beneficial or Damaging?

[1/2]

The "Off Topic" convo started here:

I would have laughed if that was my friend.


World so lame we cant even laugh at our friends.

Bruh, I was thinking the same thing. People are getting soft as shit. Getting laughed at by your friends is not the same thing as getting laughed at by bullies or people who mean you harm. Your friends will laugh at you, but at the same time give you the hand to pick you up and encourage you in the process. Some of these people act like the laughing part is cruel, but it's not because it also helps you learn how to laugh those situations off too. When you can do that, then those things never seem as bad.

this was just about a group of elementary age boys encouraging and supporting another boy through his fear or weakness....nothing else

we all roasted each other and its nothing wrong with it....but i've never personally witnessed anything like that

he's gonna fail and take losses in life no matter what, and he'll learn to deal with that in his own way as time goes on

but that kinda support will drive the fear and self doubt out of any kid....which is way more valuable then being able to "roll with the punches"




oh an on a totally different note, nobody really clowns each other as hard as black kids....thats another 2 threads tho

I get you. I don't have any problem with the video itself. My dispute is more with the sentiment expressed in the accompanying tweet, which suggested that friends that laugh at you aren't the friends you need.

Yeah, having a class cheer you on after you fail is fine I guess, but it's not necessarily better than having that one friend laugh at you tell you to get it done. Both are forms of encouragement. The difference is that it will be much rarer in life for you to have a coordinated group of people pushing you past your failure, so if you come to depend on that too much, you may be setting yourself up for more failure.

I agree with you about black kids clowning each other hard. I think you have to be clear about that though. In the case of black kids, it's mostly light hearted just for fun. White kids may not go at each other as hard, but the way they do it is meant to bring others down. Also, at black schools, anybody can get it. You can be the most popular kid in school, if you slip up, they gonna be on your ass. I think with others it's almost always directed from people with power down to people without it.

 

[GOAT]

 

[DMorgan]

It's both

 

[DOS_patos]

Builds character and thick skin even tho some niggas are still bitchmade like @Hellczar.

Nigga is just a fuck nigga with a fuck nigga guantlet and all the bitch nigga stones.

Even with all that he still half a pussy.

 

[DOS_patos]

I'm sorry that was uncalled for but his bitchass deserved it.

Sounds confusing but it makes sense

 

[Chicity]

Neither

 

[konceptjones]

Builds character and thick skin even tho some niggas are still bitchmade like @Hellczar.

Nigga is just a fuck nigga with a fuck nigga guantlet and all the bitch nigga stones.

Even with all that he still half a pussy.

 

[loud-ninja]

Honestly, there is no incorrect answer. Everyone is built different. There will never be a time where everyone has gladiator type heart. Some people are just weaker then others. Physically or/and mentally. Fear is the strongest emotion there is. Fear of embarrassment, of other people, of failure, etc. That kid benefited from the support of his friends and was able to succeed. Having supporting people is way better then having people tease and make fun of you. That kid pretty much gave up but the support brought him back. If they would have laughed, that kid would probably never want to do karate again.

 

[konceptjones]

As Black kids we grew up with clowning each others. The Dozens, "Yo Momma" jokes, and average everyday jokes. As a result. we have thicker skin than the average American regardless of race. For the most part, we know it's just jokes and usually don't take it too personally unless a nigga crosses a line.

The schools I went to in Detroit would have clowned lil dude hard until he got it right. The schools I went to in Saginaw, which had more white kids, would have been split with some kids cheering him on and some (the Black kids), clowning him while cheering him on at the same time.

 

[1/2]

I get you. I don't have any problem with the video itself. My dispute is more with the sentiment expressed in the accompanying tweet, which suggested that friends that laugh at you aren't the friends you need.

Yeah, having a class cheer you on after you fail is fine I guess, but it's not necessarily better than having that one friend laugh at you tell you to get it done. Both are forms of encouragement. The difference is that it will be much rarer in life for you to have a coordinated group of people pushing you past your failure, so if you come to depend on that too much, you may be setting yourself up for more failure.

I agree with you about black kids clowning each other hard. I think you have to be clear about that though. In the case of black kids, it's mostly light hearted just for fun. White kids may not go at each other as hard, but the way they do it is meant to bring others down. Also, at black schools, anybody can get it. You can be the most popular kid in school, if you slip up, they gonna be on your ass. I think with others it's almost always directed from people with power down to people without it.

ok your friends are gonna laugh when you bust your ass on the steps or drop ketchup on your shirt....not a problem

if they laughed at that kid when he thought he couldnt break the board and started crying, do you think that would have helped him?

2nd statement is true, but by the time you're adult you dont need the "coordinated group" to push you if you've been made confident and assertive since a child. Im not saying we all need cheerleaders but I just think about "what if" we all held each other up more?

Which goes to the next statement. i cant say it was mostly light hearted or fun, at all lol. Depending on where you were, you had it HARD as fuck if you had shitty clothes and shoes or didnt keep a haircut. This starts in elementary and is just the surface of what we'll clown each other for. It goes past friends and free jabs. The shit can be completely backwards and negative in the worst cases.

"this nigga doin homework"

dont fuck around and be respectful or affectionate with a girl lmao


Not only have I never seen or heard any other group of people do this, I noticed its probably because they dont care about most of that shit.

Anyway my point aint to compare, it just has to be part of the convo if we're trying to determine if this was really doing good or bad.

I think its all good up until the point of actually degrading somebody or turning "normal" shit into negatives.

 

[1/2]

As Black kids we grew up with clowning each others. The Dozens, "Yo Momma" jokes, and average everyday jokes. As a result. we have thicker skin than the average American regardless of race. For the most part, we know it's just jokes and usually don't take it too personally unless a nigga crosses a line.

The schools I went to in Detroit would have clowned lil dude hard until he got it right. The schools I went to in Saginaw, which had more white kids, would have been split with some kids cheering him on and some (the Black kids), clowning him while cheering him on at the same time.

Agreed.

But I feel like it started in a different place. Yo mama is always funny idc, some people got mad if something was true but that aint really discouraging nobody in life and shit lol.

I also feel like there's a reason we (at some point) chose to kinda be hard on each other and intentionally build that "thick skin". Given our history it makes sense to wanna toughen each other up.

as most have mentioned, there's just a line and it may be in different places for different people

 

[loud-ninja]

I haven't done any stat checking so this is all opinion, but I bet it does more damage than it does building character. Look at the school shootings happening. Suicides, depression, disorders, kids turning into criminals. It is easier to fail at something when you have support in your corner. When everyone is against you, you wonder what is criminals. It does extreme damage to the kids with no friends. Hell, even some adults. Also, there is a time and place to tease and joke with your friends. Doing it in public in front of strangers ain't it. That's when you should have their back and then clown behind closed doors. Unless that person considers that an off limit situation

 

[Loquacious]

We need dat shit!!

 

[The Lonious Monk]

ok your friends are gonna laugh when you bust your ass on the steps or drop ketchup on your shirt....not a problem

if they laughed at that kid when he thought he couldnt break the board and started crying, do you think that would have helped him?

Depends on the kid and the friends. If the kid is soft and can't take any ribbing, it probably wouldn't be a help at all. That kid will need different friends. Also, if the friends are just poking fun and laughing and that's it, then they aren't really being friends. I'm talking about people laughing at how goofy you look in your failure but also encouraging you in their own way. And yeah, I've seen with my own eyes where kids were laughing at other kids while they were crying but still pushing them to get something done and the result was the same as in that video.

2nd statement is true, but by the time you're adult you dont need the "coordinated group" to push you if you've been made confident and assertive since a child. Im not saying we all need cheerleaders but I just think about "what if" we all held each other up more?

I don't know, maybe it would be, but that's not the world. And people do get accustomed to that fake push they get when they are young, and sometimes have a hard time adjusting to the real world where sometimes you don't have a push at all.

I can only speak for myself, but I'm stronger because of the way kids were at school coming up. I remember once in middle school, the fam was going through hard times and we needed shoes so my mom got me some cheap no name shoes. I didn't care because I didn't and still don't care about brands. But when I got to school, they let me have it. They made up a fake shoes song that was basically my theme for a week. When I went to lunch the first day the whole damn cafeteria sung that song like it was some shit the rehearsed beforehand. The first day was rough I can't lie. I even went to my mom and told her I needed to get some new shoes. She said "No," so I had to deal with it. The next day it was basically "Fuck ya'll." Everywhere I went and a couple days later someone else did something and everyone moved on. To this day nothing really gets me down, and that's largely because of how I learned how to be going to black schools.

 

[Playmaker88]

It's all fair if they are playing along. ..



And we all knew people who would try to snap but start snot bubbling and wanting to fight once they were the subject

 

[1/2]

I haven't done any stat checking so this is all opinion, but I bet it does more damage than it does building character. Look at the school shootings happening. Suicides, depression, disorders, kids turning into criminals. It is easier to fail at something when you have support in your corner. When everyone is against you, you wonder what is criminals. It does extreme damage to the kids with no friends. Hell, even some adults. Also, there is a time and place to tease and joke with your friends. Doing it in public in front of strangers ain't it. That's when you should have their back and then clown behind closed doors. Unless that person considers that an off limit situation

this interestingly goes against some of my argument but in a good way

in this sense, yes, I feel like the constant roasting keeps them from feeling "bullied" and going to drastic measures like shooting up the school or suicide when somebody says something mean to them

 

[konceptjones]

I haven't done any stat checking so this is all opinion, but I bet it does more damage than it does building character. Look at the school shootings happening. Suicides, depression, disorders, kids turning into criminals. It is easier to fail at something when you have support in your corner. When everyone is against you, you wonder what is criminals. It does extreme damage to the kids with no friends. Hell, even some adults. Also, there is a time and place to tease and joke with your friends. Doing it in public in front of strangers ain't it. That's when you should have their back and then clown behind closed doors. Unless that person considers that an off limit situation

Ain't no mass school shootings in the hood tho. By and large, this is a thin skinned white kid problem.

If niggas is shootin' at a school, it's 'cause they beefin about something; there's a specific target and intent.

 

[1/2]

Depends on the kid and the friends. If the kid is soft and can't take any ribbing, it probably wouldn't be a help at all. That kid will need different friends. Also, if the friends are just poking fun and laughing and that's it, then they aren't really being friends. I'm talking about people laughing at how goofy you look in your failure but also encouraging you in their own way. And yeah, I've seen with my own eyes where kids were laughing at other kids while they were crying but still pushing them to get something done and the result was the same as in that video.



I don't know, maybe it would be, but that's not the world. And people do get accustomed to that fake push they get when they are young, and sometimes have a hard time adjusting to the real world where sometimes you don't have a push at all.

I can only speak for myself, but I'm stronger because of the way kids were at school coming up. I remember once in middle school, the fam was going through hard times and we needed shoes so my mom got me some cheap no name shoes. I didn't care because I didn't and still don't care about brands. But when I got to school, they let me have it. They made up a fake shoes song that was basically my theme for a week. When I went to lunch the first day the whole damn cafeteria sung that song like it was some shit the rehearsed beforehand. The first day was rough I can't lie. I even went to my mom and told her I needed to get some new shoes. She said "No," so I had to deal with it. The next day it was basically "Fuck ya'll." Everywhere I went and a couple days later someone else did something and everyone moved on. To this day nothing really gets me down, and that's largely because of how I learned how to be going to black schools.

yeah man...that shit had a hand in building a lot of us and preparing us for the world

still seems isolated tho....like we prepared for a world and reality that only we live in

how can it be so beneficial for us to get by, but not be required or even regarded by anyone else that does just fine out here?

 

[DOS_patos]

yeah man...that shit had a hand in building a lot of us and preparing us for the world

still seems isolated tho....like we prepared for a world and reality that only we live in

how can it be so beneficial for us to get by, but not be required or even regarded by anyone else that does just fine out here?

The hood prepared us more than some people think.
In ways people can't understand until they use it.

 

[konceptjones]

yeah man...that shit had a hand in building a lot of us and preparing us for the world

still seems isolated tho....like we prepared for a world and reality that only we live in

how can it be so beneficial for us to get by, but not be required or even regarded by anyone else that does just fine out here?

Ok, so let's flip it then:

What world and reality are they prepared for?

When you hit adulthood, it's assumed you know what to do and how to navigate the world in front of you without much in the way of help. At least that's how it was when I hit 18. No cheering section, no positive affirmation for doing what I was supposed to do as an adult, no none of that. So you now have these kids coming up that are used to having people constantly pushing them with positive affirmation for everything and that's suddenly gone. No one congratulates you for showing up to work on time, no one to give you accolades for doing what you're supposed to do, no cheering section telling you that you can do it when you fail.

So who's really ready for the world? Us or them? I've never expected praise for showing up on time and every time I failed I dusted myself off and tried again without needing someone to tell me I could do it; I just did it.