OPINION ABW Double Standard Series: Men/Women with x number of kids

[Duwop]

There's a lot of variables.

When you say several how many are we talking. 4 Bms?

If we're talkin about a dude who has a bunch of kids and puts forth no effort to spend time with em or help out financially, then yea he ain't shit.


But if he's a nigga who has 2 BMs and has it set up that he picks both kids up on the weekends and he plays his part as a father, I wouldn't consider homie foul.

but if your little sister say she like 20-21 and she meet a dude who like 29 but he got two kids, two different women....shit ain't work out with either....

you gonna let her gloss over that shit like it's muffin, or you gonna talk to her about what to watch out for in regards to that situation....

if it's something you consider important enough to stress certain factors then it's a red flag....

and the more kids by more women it is, the more of a flag should be....

if my little sister meets a dude who like late 20's early 30's with 5 + kids.....

i don't care how well he taking care of shit....imma tell her that's a MAJOR flag, and tel her to be on cstant guard, cuz niggaz in sitatons like that tend to lie a lot...
that's just how i look at life....

i take kids seriously..i feel you can tell a whole lot about a person based on how they interact with their kids

im ;earning more about myself for the same reason

 

[Judge Dread]

A man could have 3 kids with one woman but his career keeps him away a lot. So whether it is 3 kids by one woman or 3 kids by three different woman whether he takes care of his kids financially and spends as much time as possible should be the judge of his character. But the again, I am a Rasta and my Bretheren tend to have plenty Pickney. Plants seeds and watch they grow they say.

 

[Goldie]

That's true. If you have a job where you have to travel alot of spend most of your time working, you prolly will only spend the weekends with your kids, etc. I wouldn't him/her a bad parent. I guess it depends on who you're asking.

 

[1/2]

ay I got a whole house fulla furniture for free once....living room, dining room, entertainment center, stereo w surround and all

oilfield nigga i know got hit for child support....for like 3 kids......check went from 3K to like $700

my nigga dropped everything and ran west

havent talked to him but im sure he got a new family in cali now

 

[Judge Dread]

My grandparents had 13 kids and my grandfather worked 3 jobs and when he was home he went fishing with all the kids. But that was mainly once a week. He wasn’t home everyday interacting with the children because he was tired. It is hard enough to find someone that you want to be with that wants to be with you. People just have to be open and honest with who they are and what they want. People know that they are great parents but horrible with relationships. That is ok if both sides agree. The problem is when someone thinks they are going to change because it is them. Like if a woman says I know he didnt marry his other 3 baby mothers but I know he is going to marry me or if he promises to marry her knowing he wont.

 

[Eartha Clit]

What is it that when a chick is dating guys, a dude can have 10 kids by different women, and she'll allow herself to birth his 11th child

When a dude is dating females and she has multiple kids with different men, he'll still smash, but he aint having no kis with her?

This is clearly a question for the ratchets. If you allow yourself to get pregnant by a man with 11 kids, you get whatever comes to you. It’s a red flag that he has so many kids but this doesn’t equate to him being a bad father. That nigga might be out here taking good care of his kids. You never know.

Like 1/2 said dudes look at it like “oh hell naw. I gotta play step daddy” because 9/10 the kids lives with the mother. For the women most of the time, it’s see the other children only on the weekend as opposed to see the child everyday.

Don’t think niggas ain’t out here knocking chicks up with multiple kids though. I know A FEW personally.

 

[JUDAH]

If he's taking care of the seeds financially and does his part, why is he foul? Mf's break up all the time.

This is a good question.

If a man has multiple kids but is spending time with them and working multiple jobs to pay child support, aint that a good thing?

They just being stretched thin by the consequences of choices.

And if a woman is working and taking care of their kids not solely relying on assistance, that's commedable.

I think people just aint always willing to take on someone else's burdens. And there's nothing inherently wrong with that.

I just think people don't wanna become a meal ticket or be taken advantage of based on possible outcomes when dealing with someone with kids that aren't yours.

 

[Playmaker88]

lol

 

[JUDAH]

can I say sumn that might fuck the thread up?

yea?cool

most of the women ya'll talking about be ratchet as fuck and have zero room to judge any man, and they kinda place themselves lower and are more accepting of shit because of that

they either dont believe they can do better, or dont feel like being who they think they need to be in order to do better

self image/awareness/love is a mf

This real.

 

[AP2.5]

This is a good question.

If a man has multiple kids but is spending time with them and working multiple jobs to pay child support, aint that a good thing?

They just being stretched thin by the consequences of choices.

And if a woman is working and taking care of their kids not solely relying on assistance, that's commedable.

I think people just aint always willing to take on someone else's burdens. And there's nothing inherently wrong with that.

I just think people don't wanna become a meal ticket or be taken advantage of based on possible outcomes when dealing with someone with kids that aren't yours.

i can commend a dude that tries

but there are only 24 hours a day. If you working multiple jobs just to be there financially for them at a minimum, then you are missing out on physical interaction which is just as important.

Something has to give

 

[JUDAH]

i can commend a dude that tries

but there are only 24 hours a day. If you working multiple jobs just to be there financially for them at a minimum, then you are missing out on physical interaction which is just as important.

Something has to give

Word.

But best case scenario is situations like that, there would normally be joint custody involved. So they already behind the 8 if they only see them on the weekends. But I get what you're saying.

Lesson in all of this is sometimes whats best for the children aint always best for the parent(s).

Take from that what you will.

 

[DOS_patos]

i dont know about not living with his child....that a bit much.

but niggas can keep making kids and running....
women can keep making kids...but its just lower her stock goes.

 

[AP2.5]

i dont know about not living with his child....that a bit much.

but niggas can keep making kids and running....
women can keep making kids...but its just lower her stock goes.

yes...this is the premise of the thread

i mean, yea, we all have ideas of why this is, but its very unsettling

cant be THAT much of a shortage of men to where women doubling and tripling up on the same fathers for their children

 

[DOS_patos]

yes...this is the premise of the thread

i mean, yea, we all have ideas of why this is, but its very unsettling

cant be THAT much of a shortage of men to where women doubling and tripling up on the same fathers for their children

you ever been to atlanta?

 

[AP2.5]

you ever been to atlanta?

here and there but not for an extensive amount of time

all i've heard were the rumors about all the dlow men out there

i know the ratio of women to men was already bananas tho

 

[DOS_patos]

here and there but not for an extensive amount of time

all i've heard were the rumors about all the dlow men out there

i know the ratio of women to men was already bananas tho

well...i thought you was gonna say you heard the rumor about how the chicks dont mind sharing men there....but im not judging you

 

[AP2.5]

well...i thought you was gonna say you heard the rumor about how the chicks dont mind sharing men there....but im not judging you

nah, is that a real thing?

 

[IP360]

My coworker is engaged to a guy who has 6 kids and 2 bm's.

 

[semi-auto-mato]

what if the kids are older? what if a dude or a woman has 3 kids by 3 women/3 men and their ages are 21 19 and 17? They have spent their time taking care of their responsibilities by spending time with them and supporting them financially. They might still be broke paying for college or trade school but for the most part their money situation should get better and they should have more time to date. I dont see why that should be a problem.

I guess to me the issue would be the age of the children. Their relationship with the other parents.

dont judge a book by it's cover.