2023/2024 Football/Soccer Thread ⚽️
- Thread starter Infamous114
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Northside7
OG
Will his team win in May or June?
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
Blue_London
OG
@nba experts
Team USA is doing pre games before the Olympics how likely is it that curry and LeBron will be there?
Team USA is doing pre games before the Olympics how likely is it that curry and LeBron will be there?
Blue_London
OG
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
Blue_London
OG
This pr agenda is out of control lol
Big_Ev
Mr. Brick City
Most of the fans don’t really want 777.
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
dontdiedontkillanyone
Show some love, you losers!
Crocodiles in his pockets
John Terry escapes the mob
Quote of the day
“He became very nervous and stopped talking.” - Argentina’s Leandro Paredes on teasing teammate Alejandro Garnacho about his hero worship of Ronaldo.FOOTBALL
Darling can you pop to the shops? We’re out of audio again
As Joey Barton enters week two of his war on female pundits, branding their supporters “eunuchs” and “fartparcels”, the rabid headcase is at least sticking to his guns.
Unlike his spiritual cousin, John Terry, who backed down from a similar protest during the 2018 World Cup.
After turning on Portugal v Morocco to find it was commentated by a woman, JT told his followers he was “having to watch this game with no volume”.
When the inevitable backlash came, Terry quickly fired out a video explaining he meant there was “no audio in the house”, like it was hot water or milk:
“I returned home from the Maldives today around two o’clock to find there’s no audio in the house whatsoever.”
FOOTBALL
The banker would like to offer you the Sheffield United job
For most elite managers, unemployment is a chance to skill up: Eddie Howe decamped to Madrid to shadow Diego Simeone, while Pep Guardiola spent six hours a day studying German.
So when Chris Wilder returned to the Sheffield United dugout, the club’s in-house media were keen to hear what tactical masterstrokes he’d been cooking up.
“I've had far too many afternoons sat on the settee watching Deal or No Deal”, Chris explained. “I feel as if I've got a personal relationship with Bradley Walsh."
In fairness, Chris isn’t the only one dicking about on his time off.
When Sean Dyche got his P45 from Burnley, he became a regular on the gigs and festivals circuit, even popping up with a load of pilled up 16-year-olds at Reading.
And when Gareth Ainsworth was asked how he’d enjoy his freedom after being sacked by QPR, he replied: “You've got to have some focus. That focus for me is getting better at the guitar.”
FOOTBALL
Pirl clutching
While Chris Wilder watches Loose Women and eats Ben and Jerry’s out of the tub, we like to picture Andrea Pirlo sipping an espresso and picking biscotti out of his perfectly sculpted beard.
But like his new club Sampdoria, the once-stylish midfielder has fallen on hard times, and finds himself managing in the Italian second tier.
And just to rub it in, striker Sebastiano Esposito celebrated a goal by throwing Pirlo around the technical area like a shopkeeper with unpaid gambling debts.
FOOTBALL
Crocodiles in his pockets
If you listened to our Galacticos podcast, you’ll know former Spain keeper Iker Casillas is so tight his teammates said “he had crocodiles in his pockets”.
The Real Madrid legend was nicknamed 'Tacaño' - 'the stingy one' after trousering €30 lent to him by captain Fernando Hierro for a cab home, and taking the metro instead.
Years later, he threatened to turn the car around when TV presenter Bertin Osborne didn’t have the cash to split a €2 motorway toll.
But it turns out Iker has a decent excuse for his penny pinching.
As a child, the keeper’s dad filled out the slip on a 14-way accumulator, and asked his son to pop into the bookies to place the bet. But thinking the ridiculous wager had no chance, Iker pocketed the stake instead.
The following day, all 14 results came through and his dad was toasting a €1.2m win, when a sheepish Iker fessed up.
Good job he made it as a footballer…
FOOTBALL
Oi Sandro bell your guy again
Sandro Tonali looked miserable when he arrived in Newcastle, but since discovering Wetherspoons’ £6 beer and a burger deal, he’s gone fully native.
Despite his ten month betting ban, the Italian press say Tonali and his girlfriend Giulia are “immersed in the new reality of living in Jesmond.”
Considering Jesmond is Newcastle’s ghetto for students from the home counties, he’s probably sucking on a laughing gas balloon right now, chatting to a bloke with a signet ring about deep house.
Quick hits
In his last job at Turkish side Fatih Karagumruk, Andrea Pirlo allowed his players to smoke in his half-time team talks.
Barcelona players will have to shower at home after training and matches because Catalonia has declared a drought emergency.
The Cuban boxer who beat Amir Khan in the final of the Sydney Olympics offered to sell him his gold medal for $5k. Khan said no, but gave him the money anyway.
Celtic’s goalscorer against Feyernoord, Gustav Lagerbielke, is a baron and is 254th in line to the Swedish throne.
In fairness to Gareth Ainsworth’s guitar skills, he is the frontman for rock band Cold Blooded Hearts.
AND FINALLY
Maximum brake
Staying calm on the black is hard enough, but try doing it when a stolen Land Rover crashes through the wall of the pub.
GNS
OG
Blue_London
OG
Blue_London
OG
First time this season where I have thought Chelsea miss pernille harder
toheeb27
OG
Smh, i see your girl Emma is still hating on Lauren.
U did warn me that when Guro comes back, Lauren's days on the left will be over.....
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